Week 1 Waivers - From the IL

Greetings Super Friends from the scenic river town of Moline, IL.  I know that the week 1 waiver add update is like 5.6 days late and that no excuse can possible make up for the hours of anticipation and anxiety that all of you have undoubtedly been dealing with.  Unfortunately, the same reason that I am staring down the barrel of the IWireless Center and the John Deere Pavilion is why I am been delayed getting this recap done and posted.  The company I work for got a new project with the Deere peeps (which is for a not yet released product, so I cant really tell you about it at this point, other than to tell you that it exists and its cool as hell, or I would have to end you...and I like most of you enough that I dont want to do that) that I am basically in charge of...so...ipso facto...free time is at a premium for the next few months at least.  I will still try to make sure that this blog gets updated in a timely fashion, but the updates may be a little sparse at times...which sucks because I am pretty sure that you all like reading this as much as I like writing it.

Anyways, before we get to the waiver adds, lets pause for a ceremonial first beer from our league champ, LC Tomsula.

 

Waivers this week are going to take on a little different format.  I am going to group the moves by team instead of individually, since the moves this early in the season are usually connected to one another...and apparently everyone was terribly unhappy with their auctions...sweet 10 lb 9 oz baby Jesus...all laying in your manger with your Baby Einstein Developmental books...how many transactions are there this week?  And none of them were by the guy who wasnt at the draft and was accidentally not given a catcher?

 

Lets call this format preparation H (preparations A through G were good, but we really needed something now) and lets see how it feels on the whole...if it sucks...well, then it sucks and I'll have to try something different next time.  On with the show:
 

Les Moles

SP/RP Josh Collmenter - $4 - Drop OF Coco Crisp

SP/RP Hector Noesi - $4 - Drop 3b Matt Carpenter

We start with LC Tomsula.  Josh Collmenter is the awesomest.  He throws axes.  He grows terrific facial hair.  He wears fantastic hats.  He is also one of the worst MLB opening day starting pitchers in the history of the world not named Kyle Kendrick (seriously...Kyle Kendrick is starting on opening day for an actual major league baseball team and it isnt on a dare nor is the former stripper owner from Major League involved...that we know of).  He does offer the illusive SP/RP designation that some of us (who me?) chase like catnip and have been known to overpay for and he was an above average pitcher last season because he bascially walked about 1 batter per start.  Unfortunately, his cost was the player that LC Tomsula was most excited about during the draft.  Now, I dont know if it was the beer talking, but LC Tomsula chastized the rest of us repeatedly for no one bidding over the top of his like $2 bid for Coco.  If Coco and his Afro arent back on Tom's team before the year is over, I may have to make an executive decision to add him back.  Some things are just meant to be.

As for Noesi, my mother taught me that if I didnt have anything nice to say, that I shouldnt say anything at all.  Noesi was on 3 different teams last year, including getting released by the Texas Rangers. The Rangers, for those of you who cant recall a couple of months ago, had more injuries than just about any team in MLB last year and they didnt think that giving Noesi the ball every 5th day was a better idea than giving it to Joe Saunders, Robbie Ross or something called a Miles Mikolas.  If Noesi is on Tom's team in June, I would be very surprised.  We're done here.
 

Bob's ATers

SP Kyle Hendricks - $10 - No Drop

RP Darren O'Day - $4 - Drop SP Jesse Hahn

 

Kyle Hendricks is a Cub.  That is really the only reason I can possibly come up with that Bob would have bid $10 on him.  Maybe he was trying to channel last season, when he posted a $20 bid on Yordano Ventura right after the draft and that worked out well?  Hendricks had a great run of starts at the end of last season, turning in a 1.08 whip over 80+ innings, but he has never been seen as that strong of a pitcher. His minor league track record looks strong (his statistical profile and "stuff" actually are fairly similar to those of blog favorite Mike Fiers), but his strikeout rate ranked somewhere between poor and homeless Greecian last season.  I am not saying that he can't be a useful pitcher in the ratio categories, but I am doubting that the $10 investment will be worth it.

 

The Hendricks pickup created a logjam of SPs and Bob addressed that by adding O'Day for Jesse Hahn.  I love O'Day.  He has been consistently great over the past several seasons (he has a little gopher problem, but you take the bad with the good).  He will be in a prominent spot in a decent bullpen for a slightly above average team.  He wont blow the league away with holds or saves, but he should ahve great ratios and decent Ks...as long as he doesnt splode his elbow.

UCCMA

RP Joel Peralta - $5 - No Drop

RP Jordan Walden - $3 - No Drop

 

Jim wanted relievers. Jim got relievers. El fin.

 

Javy Bombs

3b/OF Yasmany Tomas - $3 - Drop C Miguel Montero

SP/RP Carlos Martinez - $2 - Drop RP LaTroy Hawkins

RP Jeurys Familia - $1 - Drop SP Zach Wheeler

2b,3b, OF Martin Prado - $1 - No Drop

 

I am not surprised that Attack of the Zach was one of the most active teams in the first waiver period.  Hawkins is the oldest player in the Bigs...and he pretty much sucks it...Wheeler's elbow ligament is now elbow ligaments... and Montero is a second 10 catcher at best.  In their places, Zach adds Martin Prado, who offers the ability to play multiple positions poorly while maintaining a decent batting average, Familia, a borderline RP for fantasy with some upside potential, Martinez, who offers a ton of upside (he has been called baby Pedro, and not just because of the Jheri Curl) and Tomas. 

 

If Martinez can finally harness his potential, he will be a terror, but will still be blocked by a pretty stacked Cardinal rotation.  The real potential season changer, here, is Tomas.  The 24 year old Cuban defector has big time power potential, but didnt put up the same type of video game numbers that fellow Cubans Jose Abreu or Yasiel Puig put up before they came over and immediately found success in the Bigs, so there could be some adjustment period.  Also, the D-Backs are trying to teach Tomas to play 3b...and it isnt going well.  I believe "wildebeest trying to catch eggs in a frying pan" is an apt description.  A move back to the OF (where he belongs) would create a logjam of OFers on the AZ roster and could lead to Tomas beginning the season in the minors due to issue with other players not having options remaining.  Even if that's the case though, Tomas's potential would be well worth a NA spot and a "watch and see" approach.

 

Dust Bunnies

1b Eric Hosmer - $1 - Drop Billy Butler

I am pretty sure that the league is responsible for this transaction.  After Dusty picked up Billy Butler, he got so much shit that he basically had no other option but to dump the Butler stink and pick up anything else.  Congrats Dusty, you get points for dumping Butler.  The problem is that Hosmer might not be a ton better.  If its the Hosmer who came to life at the end of 2013 or during the 2014 playoffs, he is easily a rosterable 1b, if not a starting 1b.  But if he is the Hosmer who played at every other moment over the past 2 years, he is nothing but a better fielding, skinnier Butler who does nice things like buying drinks for fans at clubs and wear Ambiguously Gay duo outfits with Mike MooseTacos.

MTMTAS

SP Drew Hutchison - $1 - Drop SP Tanner Roark

SP Kevin Gausman - $1 - Drop RP Sean Doolittle

 

I want to get excited about Drew Hutchison and Kevin Gausman.  I really do.  They are both 6'3" 190 pound right handers who happen to bat left handed, even though they play in the AL and dont have to bat much, if ever.  They are both 24 year old, hard throwing guys coming off of strong seasons in the AL East (which isnt what it used to be folks).  I just cant bring myself to get excited about either of them.  They will likely both be solid pitchers and have the chance to be much much much more than that over the course of their careers, maybe even this year.  Maybe I'll come around on Gausman.  He is an Oriole...and Adam Jones seems to like him, so he has to be at least somewhat awesome.

Hitless Bastards

SP/RP Marcus aStroman - $1 - No Drop

SS Jed Lawrie - $1 - No Drop

 

Finally the end. 

Dear league-

Thanks for voting for the extra DL spot so that I can park aStroman there for the entire season and not completely destroy my competitiveness and end up having to trade a $20 Anthony Rizzo for Aramis Ramirez and never get a chance to use said Ramirez so that I can keep an injured Matt Harvey on my team.  Long live aStroman.

Thanks.

Commish

 

Stroman will spend the next 8 months parked in the DL spot (when it becomes available) and will be the leader in the club house to take the newly added 11th keeper spot heading into next season.

 

As for Lowrie...well...I hate my SS life.  Having a Jose Reyes is nice, but requires an adequate backup.  I had my eye on Jhonny Peralta as a wire add, but then we gave him to John and left the SS landscape really really ridiculously barren.  I mean, were talking Lawrie, Marcus Semien, Jean Segura, and Didi Gregorius...is death an option?  Can I take the Dusty route and start a blank spot or someone who isnt on an active roster?  Are Shawon Dunston and his cookie duster available? (The answer is yes...its always yes for Dunston.  I actually learned that Shawon Dunston Jr is a minor league OFer in the Cubs system.  He stole 27 bases for Kane County last year.  If he is there again, someone needs to go to a Kane County Cougars game and get his autograph for me so I can pretend that its his dad's).