Thursday gets the Liam Neeson treatment

So, I finally got tired of waiting for Bob's broke ass to finish answering the questions I sent to him for a second time 3 weeks ago (the first time was basically during the Byzantine Empire), so yesterday afternoon I redirected and shot some questions over to bald headed half of the Fastenal Ambiguously Gay Duo (not sure who is Ace and who is Gary...my guess is John is Gary, Tom is Ace) and Tom turned them around super quickly.  So a BIG thanks to Tom, we will get to his answers in a bit.  First, there have been some things going on in MLB that are worth a mention (and some light ribbing).  I'll use the bullet point method because it suits me and I dont need another reason.

 

There is so much going on here.  The hat...the eyebrows...the
beard that makes it look like hair completely encircles his face.

- Not only was Yanger recalled from the minors, but a major league team actually thought enough to trade FOR him.  Granted, it was the Padres and a smallish monkey would be an upgrade over everyone they have not named Seth Smith, but still.  Not only that...the Padres gave up a player who is only a year and a half removed from a 286/376/498 31 HR 115 RBI 17 SB season (its been a ROUGH year and a half).  It is hard to believe that anyone was willing to take a trip to the Yanger Zone, but a lineup that features a starting infield (when healthy) of Yonder Alonso, Jedd Jerko, Everth Cabrera and Yanger might be the best/most depressing collection of horse shit ever collected.  Long live the Padres. -- New just broke today that CF Cameron Maybin has been suspended 25 games for using amphetamines (greenies)...he is hitting 238/292/319.  If that is him on something performance enchancing, I dont want to see him without it.  It makes me sad to think that I just picked up another Padre starting pitcher and have seriously contemplated picking up Odrisamer Despaigne, if for no other reason than to have someone named Odrisamer.

 

- The prospect love that Uncle Jimmy and I showed Mookie Betts may have been a bit premature...may have been.  The Mookster was sent back to Pawtuckett after playing in 10 less than inspiring games and hitting 235/278/382 with 1 HR and 1 SB.  So much for that $16 waiver add Uncle Jim.  Really though, I find it hard to blame Mookie for his struggles.  In his 10 games, he never played more than 4 in a row and was often in the lineup for a couple of games, then out for a couple.  I would say that he was never able to get into a rhythm at the plate, and it is really understated how important that is.  In my younger playing days, I would go through streaks where the ball looked like it was moving in slow motion and I felt like no matter what I did, I was going to hit a liner that would find some green space.  I also went through spots where it felt like there were 10 guys playing in the infield and that the infield was 190 feet deep.  The first ones were when I was in rhythm, the second ones were like when I try to dance (its not pretty).  Being jerked in and out of the lineup doesnt let a hitter get comfortable, which is huge when you are a rookie playing under the biggest microscope imaginable a few dozen miles from the head quarters of the world's largest sports media outlet and in front of some of the craziest and most unreasonable fans that have every existed. 
Mookie can thank the Sawks manager.  I still think that he will be exciting long term, but I am interested to see what Uncle Jimmy does with him seeing as how Kris Bryant and Javy Baez are currently parked in his NA spots.  Jimmy continues to assure me that Baez is close to coming up to the big squad even though he recently moved to second base in AAA and the Cubs are playing with their shiny new toy at 2b, Arismendy Alcantara (though Alcantara did play CF last night with Emilio! getting the start at the keystone sack).  Jimmy...you can always trade Kris Bryant to me...I will make him feel welcome and give him a good home.

- George Springer hit the DL yesterday (#SpringerDinged) and I cried a little.  He isnt in my starting lineup this week, so he wont be in the ass hDLes section tomorrow (homie dont play that game), but I needed to share my pain.

 And with that...on to TOM!

1) Who is Tom? What are your hopes, your dreams? If you were filling out a Match.com dating profile, what would it say? What's the deal with "Lester the Molester"? It is an old relative that constantly sat in the corner at parties and gave all the children creepy smiles?

Well, my name is Tom and I work in the IT department at Fastenal. I sit directly next to John and we like to bet on everything. I have a shaved head and a mustache and i have been called a creeper from time to time so when I picked up Jon Lester i figured the perfect name would be Lester the Molesters.

Ed note: Sometime tells me that if you put "I have been called a creeper from time to time" into a Match.com profile, you wouldnt be getting too many replies.  And the ones you would get would not be from the type of folk youd want to be associating with.

2) Whats the goal for Les Moles this year? How do you get there? How realistic is the acheivement of that goal?

I hope to make the playoffs this year and my other big goal is to beat John. He doesnt think that I will be able to win with my team so that make winning a playoff spot all the better to know that I made it and he didnt. It's going to be interesting the rest of the year to see who can lock up that last playoff spot considering five teams are really close to each other in the standings. I really didnt know what I was doing in the draft or for the first few weeks which really hurt my season because I fell to last place and it was hard to get out. But I think i can try to be Worst to First.

Ed. note- Here is what I heard.  I want to beat John. And if that doesnt work, I want to beat John.  My other goal is to beat John.  The playoffs are cool.                                               

3) You havent started Dallas Keuchel in several weeks. How close is he to the chopping block? Have you enjoyed the Keuchel coaster as much as I have?

I know. He was in a little bit of a slump before the All Star break and I just didnt feel comfortable starting him. It looks like he is getting back to being a good pitcher again so I will hang on to Dallas "Diamond Page" Keuchel and you will probably see him in my starting line up in the next week or two.

Ed note - Dallas Diamond Page is such a genious nickname that I am embarrased that I never even contemplated it.  Bravo Tom...Bravo.

4) How many times a day do you and John get into arguments about fantasy baseball? What are they usually about and who ususally wins them?

We usually dont get into arguments about Fantasy Baseball too much. We just argue about everything else and no one really wins. It always ends with the people around us shaking their heads because our arguments are usually stupid and pointless.

5) Do you have a player on your team who you didnt know much about but you are now secretly (or not so secretly) obsessed with? Have you started looking at keepers for next season? Whats it going to take for a player to continue being a Molester next season?

I would have to say I am pretty obsessed with Andrew McCutchen just because he has put up pretty good numbers this season. This is my first baseball league, keeper league, and my first auction league so it will definitely be interesting to see how it goes after this season.

6) If you were marooned on an island and you could bring 3 not-related-to-you people, 1 food and 1 drink (that you would have enough of to survive indefinitely) and 2 board games, where would the island be, who are the people and what food/drink/games would you bring?

I would like to be marooned on a tropical island somewhere with warm weather, beaches, and plenty of trees to make a Swiss Family Robinson style tree house. I would want to be stranded with Burt Reynolds, Bear Grylls, and Will Ferrell becasue I think they would be fun and Bear Grylls would help survive. Monoply would be a good game to bring because its an easy game to play that will help pass the time. Also, I would like to bring a deck of cards instead of a board game because I am a fan of Euchre and Hearts. Beer and beef jerky would be the foods I would want to be stranded with in this fictitious, hypothetical scenario.
Ed Note- No women?  Does it get lonely on that isle?  and are we talking Burt Reynolds from Smokey and the Bandit II: Smokey is the Bandit or Burt Reynolds from the Adam Sandler version of "The Longest Yard"?

7) If you were a MLBer, would you have more or less than 12 RBIs in 338 official at bats?

Why are you afraid, bat?

Basically, do you feel like you would be a better man to have hitting in an RBI situation than Ben Revere?

I didnt play baseball in school but I did enjoy playing some pickup games with some friends and I think pretty anyone has a better chance of getting more RBIs than Ben Revere.