Week 14 Waiver Wire - Learning to Live with Regret and without Yanger

So so so so many things going on on this Tuesday, the first day of JULY.  First off, this is the 100th post on the blog and we just went over 2000 all time views and we havent even been around for 4 months yet (we will hit that mark next Monday 7/7).  It is difficult to wrap my mind around that sentence. In my head it sounds as crazy as Left Eye from TLC burning down Andre Rison's house.  For one, I cant believe that there are people out there who are willing to read the dribble that comes out of my fingers onto the keyboard...especially not multiple times.  But I appreciate it like Pac appreciates his Mamma.

First: TRADE!!!
Backyard SuperStars get SS Alexei Ramirez
MWP Masters gets OF Charlie Blackmon

This trade processed through for this past Monday and Blackmon is already in John's starting lineup for this week.  I am well on record saying that I dont think Blackmon's flukish start to the season is anywhere close to what he is as a player, but I do think that his last 28 days (279/330/394 with 5 SB)shows what he is.  And that is a useful player with some upside hitting at the front end of a solid offense with mashers Morneau, Corey Dickerson and Tulo hitting behind him (though not in that order).  After picking up Jimmy Rollins last week, Kyler is continuing his quest to own every shortstop in the league.  If he cant accomplish that, at least he can take comfort in knowing that he now owns every ARam in the league (Alexei joining Aramis).  Maybe instead of Backyard Superstars the team should be Army of ARams.  I am also on record saying that Alexei's start to the season was unsustainable.  Like Blackmon, I think ARam's last 28 days (231/247/319) are closer to what he really is, though he isnt quite this bad. 
Advantage: MWP>BySs  John gets the carrot in this one only because Blackmon is a more useable piece for him (especially with Evan Gattis going on the DL soon) than Ramirez is for Kyler with JRoll already on the roster.  Skills wise, I would rather have Blackmon than Ramirez in a vaccum, but OFers are much easier to find than SS, so it makes the deal fairly even.

Before we get to the waiver adds, I must warn you about the Yangervis drop/Mookie Betts add.  I will wait until last to do this one, but it may end up being 32 pages long by itself.  There are so many things to say to Yanger as he departs our league, likely for the last time.  There are so many more things to say to Mookie.  I mean, who isnt excited about having a Mookie in our lives full time.  I dont think there's been one since Mookie Blaylock was inspiring Eddie Vedder (quick tangent--for you youngsters, Vedder was the lead singer of Pearl Jam, a good but way way way too overhyped band in the 90s.  Pearl Jam was originally named Mookie Blaylock because they loved him so much, but they had to change the name because...well you cant name your band after a person who is alive, not in that band, and actively playing professional basketball.  Instead they decided to honor him by naming one of their albums "10" which was Blaylock's number).  Before him, there was Mookie Wilson.  Before that...a Mookie-less void back to the dawn of man.  I am so excited I have already made the pre-Mookie paragraph way too long.

OF Matt Holliday - $7 - Huckleberries - Drop SP RA Dickey
Dickey hasnt been able to regain the form that won him the NL Cy Young with the Mets in 2012.  He hasnt been terrible, but an ERA over 4, a WHIP hovering about 1.4 and 88 K in 104 innings arent going to cut it in this fantasy league.  I was very surprised when Bob cut Holliday.  He is struggling a bit so far, but he is a career .300 hitter over 11 seasons with 20-25 HRs per year.  The man is a professional hitter even though the 2007 beast (340/405/607) is never coming back.  What Holliday is now is still a useful fantasy player.

SS Alcides Escobar - $3 - MWP Masters - Drop 2b/ss/OF Ben Zobrist
Zobrist's utility has always made him one of my favorite fantasy players to have on my team.  He was never great, but his SBs (via great baserunning and timing), OBP, decent power and positional flexibility overcame the so-so batting average that he has always brought (other than .297 in 2009...the year we all fell in love with him as a fantasy option).  This year...well at least he still has position flexibility.  Escobar is, in many ways, the anit-Zobrist.  He has absolutely no power, hits for a decent average (every other year it seems), will never ever ever walk (126 career walks...in over 2800 plate appearances) and steals a ton of bases based on pure speed...and he is doing all those things this year, not in our memories.

RP Joba Chamberlain - $3 - MTMTAS - Drop RP Sergio Romo
Romo was dispatched as Giants closer after blowing his 5th save over the weekend.  He will likely get the job back at some point as his ERA (5.17) and WHIP (1.02) dont exactly match up.  I am very excited to have Joba Chamberlain back being fat and making stupid comments...and occasionally pitching in baseball games.  He has actually been pretty decent this year for the Tigers.  He is piling up holds (15) right now and if he keeps going like he is, a promotion to the big boy chair isnt out of the question for a team who still employs Joe Nathan to try to get people out in the 9th inning.

RP Jake McGee - $2 - MBHB - Drop SP/RP Andrew Cashner
2b/3b/OF Josh Harrision - $1 - MBHB - Drop SP Ian Kennedy
I woke up last Saturday morning after having gone through the hitting stats on Friday, and I realized that I was rostering 2/5ths of the starting rotation for the worst hitting baseball team, maybe in history.  While wins are not the be all, end all of pitchers, I figured with Taijuan Walker getting the call and Archie Bradley resuming his march towards the Arizona rotation, I could rid myself of having to worry about the Padre offense (I think I am going to start calling them the Dead Beat Dads).  McGee is a member of Project Mayhem and appears to have taken control of the big chair in Tampa.  Harrison is a utility knife who can back up multiple positions and steal the occasional bag.  The .300 batting average is a mirage, but even at .275, Harrison is a useful player (and former Cub prospect).

C Devin MesoHornyraco - $1 - Les Moles - 1b/OF Garrett Jones
Jones is a completely replaceable 1b or OF, MesoHorny is not.  In fact, MesoHorny is one of the top offensive catchers in MLB thus far, as shown by his 5 HR in 5 game binge from June 19 to June 24.  The knock on him (and reason I dropped him a couple weeks ago) is that the Reds insist on playing Brayan Pena behind the dish multiple times per week.  If the Reds wise up and start playing the clearly better player more often, this will be an all time steal for Tom and I will look like a complete moron (more than usual).  Also...I feel like MesoHorny and The Molesters were made to be together...so I feel a little less bad about dropping him.

OF Carlos Beltran - $1 - Dust Bunnies - Drop OF Wil Myers
A Dust Bunny sighting!  After starting an injured Wil Myers for the last 241 weeks (approximate), Dusty, (I talked to Dusty this weekend while watching my wife's and his girlfriend's, though they arent the same person, little brother throw a 3 hit shutout) has finally made a move to get a warm body into his lineup.  Lukewarm might be the better way to describe Beltran at this point in his career.  Beltran was a beast...in 2006.  He was even more than useful the past couple of seasons in St. Louis, but for some reason it seems like almost all older players see a resurgence in the Lou. Every offensive stat is trending in the wrong direction for the 37 year old Beltran.  Myers was last seasons AL Rookie of the year after being one of the most hyped prospects that I can remember.  He has been hurt this year (currently on the DL...Dusty's team doesnt have a player in the DL slot) and he hasnt been great when he has played, but I would not expect to see him sitting on the waiver wire for very long given the pedigree.

1b Justin Morneau - $1 - BySs - Drop 2b Brandon Phillips

There was a time when Brandon Phillips was one of THE 2bman to own in fantasy.  Look at that mammoth 2007 season (288/331/485 107R 30HR 94RBI 32SB)...thats a stat stuffing buffet of gloriousness to rival anything that OCB is putting out these days.  But since that season, Phillips has seen his HRs decrease or stay the same in each subsequent season and his speed went from 32 SB into the 20s, then into the teens, then into single digits and this year he is 1 for 4 in attempts.  Basically, he looks like his days as a good MLBer are numbered.  If I were writing this last year, the same could have applied to Morneau.  Morneau had been a monster through 2010, when concussions took their toll on his career.  In 2011 and 2012 he struggled through head issues and in 2013 looked like he would ressurect his career as useful but not great 1b.  Oh what a move to the thin air of TacoTown will do.  Morneau is hitting over .300 and is amongst the league leaders in RBI.  He is currently hitting 3rd in a lineup that features Charlie Blackmon, Cory Dickerson, TuloGit and Carlos Gonzalez when he comes back.  With Joey Votto struggling at 1b for Kyler, this is, at the very least, solid insurance.

OF Brett Gardner - $1 - BySs - Drop 2b/3b/OF Martin Prado
Kyler has spent the past couple of weeks trying to dump Prado on anyone who will take him, so it isnt surprising to see him drop him.  The traded of Blackmon to John opened up a spot for Gardner, which he will fill quite well.  Gardner has been a solid 5 cat producer (he lacks a bit in RBI), with a solid average, decent number of stolen bases and he may crack 10 HRs in a season for the first time in his career.  If you look at the trade as Blackmon and Prado for Gardner and Alexei Ramirez, it starts looking a lot better for Kyler.

SS(?) Mookie Betts - $16 - UCCMA - Drop 2b/3b/SS Yangervis Solarte

Mookie being Mooke

I am so giddy that I have no idea where to start on this one.  I will start with Yanger, itll let me end on a high note.  Losing Yanger is like losing a member of the family in the deep dark part of your house where no one ever goes...only if that family member put up consecutive weeks where they added absolutely no value to your family structure and actively plotted to injure 24 other family members.  I will miss him dearly, though he will always be in our hearts and minds as the "Yanger Zone" will live on forever to designate someone who puts up a goose egg in the batting average column for a league week.  Peace out Yanger...welcome to the family Mookie.  I have seriously always wanted to say that.  There are so many great Mookie related lines that I could use...I am terribly disappointed that my weak $3 claim on Betts was bested by Uncle Jimmy.  Though when I saw he bid the second highest amount (to Yordano Ventura at $20 to Bob before the season) for any waiver add this year, I was less disappointed.  At 6 this morning I texted Jimmy things like "You paid it all for the Mookie?" and "Youre kind of like Han Solo, always stroking your own Mookie" and I actually spent time thinking about changing the lyrics to the Bloodhound Gang's "Fire Water Burn" to be about Uncle Jimmy picking up Mookie Betts.  Here's the first verse:

Mookie being Mookie

Hello my name is Jimmy G and I'm a smart white guy,
I'm not old or new, taught middle school fifth grade like junior high,
I don't know mofo if y'all peeps be buggin' give props to Giancarlo cause he hit big fly,
But I can take the heat cause I'm the other white meat known as "y'Call me Al",
Yeah I'm like Yangervis' average  hard to see with the naked eye,
But if I slung it like Yoenis I would stick it where the sun don't shine,
Cause I'm kind of like Segura always stroking my own Mookie,
I'm the root of all that's evil yeah but you can call me cookie,
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
We don't need Yangervis let the motherfucker burn,
Burn motherfucker burn.


Mookie being Mookie again

I have way too much time on my hands and I'm kinda messed up in the head.  And I am ok with that.  As a public service announcement, there will be more than 2017299 occasions over the rest of the sason where I will say "That's just Mookie being Mookie."  It wont matter if it is a soft roller to the pitcher, a rocket down the line for a triple, a sweet stolen base, or if he drops a routine pop up in the outfield...Mookie being Mookie is something that I have used as a catch all for anyone named Mookie since the late 80s when I used to play RBI Baseball until my eyes started turning into dust balls (not Dusty balls...those are different and I would thank you to never make me think of them again).  For some reason Yahoo has Betts lists as a SS, a position he hasnt played since he spent some time there in 2011.  Betts is primarily a 2b, though with Dustin Pedroia firmly entrenched at 2b in Boston, Mookie will do Mookie-ish things in the outfield for the foreseeable future.  The Saws didnt call him up to sit him on the bench, so he will get ample chances to sink or swim.  I like the move for Jimmy because it helps his team and rids him of the Yanger Stink, but I love the move because it adds a little more Mookie to our lives.