Friday Machado Fry

"No regrets, thats my motto...that and everybody Wang Chung tonight."  There were lots of things that I loved when I was in college...drinking pallets of old spice, waking up at 11am, going to bed at 2am, playing video games because a video game was there to be played (for those of you still in college, enjoy these things..they dont last forever.  And while I dont think I would ever wish that I could do them again because I truely do love the life that I have now, I do look back on them fondly.  Ok, ok, ok...I do truely love my life, but maybe like two or three times a year I wish that I could stay up til 2am while drinking pallets of old spice and playing video games just to play video games and then not have to wake up until 11am...this is where the 2015 Tater Tot fantasy draft comes in. I expect to be doing each of these things on the Friday and Saturday night of draft weekend.  And I expect that most, if not all, of you will be in attendence for these festivities as well as for the actual auctioning off of athletic young men.  And really, when I put it that way, how can you say no?)  One of the things that I loved most about college was watching completely stupid and pointless movies that existed for no purpose other than to be stupid and pointless...and extremely hillarious.  One of the best of them that I am guessing most of you havent seen, was 2001's Out Cold.  If you havent seen it, do it.  Like right now.  The cast list reads like the Cubbies September roster might read 10 years from now.
You've got: AJ Cook (thats a girl for those of you who care about that kind thing), who went on to be one of the main characters on Criminal Minds (shes really only mildly funny in this movie, which, compared to the rest of the cast makes it seem like she shouldnt really be there); David Denman, who I have never seen in anything but this movie, but was in The Office and Parenthood (neither of which I have ever watched; Caroline Dhavernas, who is currently Dr Alaina Bloom on Hannibal (which is pretty spectacular in the most gorey and gruesome way possible.  My wife and I watch about half of each show through our fingers because some of the crime scenes will leave you scarred and nightmarey for weeks); Zach Galifianakis, who needs no explaination; Willie Garson, who is Mozzie on USA's White Collar (if you havent watched much of the USA original programming, where have you been?  I havent bothered with the new show Satisfaction, because it looks irreprehensible, but nearly everything else that USA has put out over the past 5 years or so has been solidly written and produced); David Koechner, aka "WHAMMMMMMMY" from Anchorman; Thomas Lennon, who was a writer for the TV show The State (which only Uncle Jimmy and I will likely remember), wrote Let's Go to Prison, and created and wrote for Reno 911! amongst other things; The Six Million Dollar man, Lee Majors; Victoria Silvstedt, who, if you have ever seen Basketball you know, was the 2007 Playboy Playmate of the Year.  Who is not watching this movie?  Throw in a few all-time one liners (mostly from Galafianakis who was in his first decent sized movie role) and you have an instant stoner/college classic.  (Example of one liners: "This suit is really cramping my Hardy Boys. It's no mystery. ", "when I want advice about a good Planet of the Apes film or maybe how to get the resin out of my bong I'll come to you ok? But I am not gonna take romantic advice from somebody who cannot spell romantic or advice... or bong.", "I was there. Yeah, it was called the '80s. Ford was President, Nixon was in the White House and FDR was running this country into the ground. I was bummin' in a hole-in-a-wall town in what is now called Utah. Some fella from Colorado shows up, starts making so called "improvements", right? Before we knew what hit us, the streets are running with latte. It got so bad that a fella that liked to, you know... smoke a little grass or drink a little ripple. Crow like a rooster, maybe challenge the mayor's son to a gentlemen's duel, was "uncouth, against God." and "This uniform is really cramping my Olsen Twins. Lance, Can I get a drink for Mary Kate and Ashley?").

Anyways, the quote at the top of the page is also from the movie, which is what spawned that whole crazy, possibly incoherent paragraph type thing.  I wish that I had no regrets, but in reality everyone does.  I regret that I havent been able to post on the past few Thursdays and likely wont get to for the forseeable future.  Thats not terribly high on my list of regrets, but its there.  In fantasy sports, regret is a direct result of playing.  I regret my decision to drop Devin MesoHornyraco right before he went on a hot streak...same with Josh Harrison, who went on an all-time hot streak.  I regret keeping Justin Verlander-Upton in my lineup for the entire season, thinking that he was eventually going to stop being a bad impression of Steve Trachsel (or Rubén Quevedo for you Brewer's fans in the crowd; or Carlos Silva for you Twinkies) and turn back into Justin Verlander.  But that is half the fun of it and it gives those of us in the league together something to talk about.  I would rather drop 4 All-Stars (which I think I might have done already this year) than not make any changes because I was worried I might make a mistake (aka the Dusty Principle).  It is the same way in life.  I would rather that my kids make mistakes trying things and learning about what to do and what not to do than to not try anything at all.  So...keeping in mind that it might be a huge mistake, we are moving forward with the double up of carrying this on through the football season as well as finishing out the fantasy baseball season.  Kyler and I talked about it, and we think that we can make it work.  I am not sure exactly what the formats will be (like when we'll post or what the posts will be about), but we will figure it out...and soon.  The blog will follow along with a football league that Kyler has run for a couple of seasons (I actually have no idea how long it has run.  At this point, all I know is that it is a 1 man keeper league and the team that I inherited has AP on it).  There will be more info to follow for those of you who are playing or who want to follow along just because following things is fun.

And with that...on to a relatively paltry group of ass hDLes.  For some reason, I felt like there were 29281 (approximate) injuries this week.  As it turns out, there werent.  It just felt that way because Troy Tulowitzki had his ridiculous season come to a screeching halt due to surgery to repair a torn labrum in his hip.  Now, I am no expert, but I feel like that is kind of a big deal, even though the research I have done on the interwebs says that it is a relatively typical procedure that takes anywhere from 2 to 6 weeks to recover and then are pain free in 2 to 6 months.  Damn that medical technology voodoo.  The other big inury news for players already injured was that Carlos Gonzalez also will have season ending surgery, for him on the knee.  Its looking like there will be a lot of disappointed stoners in Colorado who were banking on free tacos through the end of the baseball season.

SP Yu Darvish - BySs - Right Elbow Inflammation

When a stud pitcher gets removed from a game, the last thing in the world anyone wants to here are "<throwing hand> elbow inflammation."  This year especially, it is only a matter of time before the visit to see Dr James Andrews is scheduled and then Shommy Shon followed by much fantasy owner crying.  Luckily, for both Darvish and his owners, it seems like he just twisted or knocked his elbow in a funky way and that there is no structural damage showing up on any of his MRIs.  The Rangers are hopeful that he can make it back when he is scheduled to come off the DL on the 2th.  Kyler should be wary though, the Rangers havent been in the playoff hunt since early June, so they are in no rush to get Darvish back or to pitch him consistently down the stretch or even to have him finish out the season.  Should Darvish feel another tweak, he might not throw another pitch this year.

3b Manny Machado - ZAttack - Sprained ligament in Right Knee

If you were watching the Orioles-Yankees tilt on Monday and saw the Machado injury in real time, you would have been convinced that he not only ruptured his ACL, MCL, PCL, TCL, OCL and LCL (some of those are made up), but also that he had torn his Achilles, severed his hamstring from his femur and contracted small pox.  The rolling around exhibition he put on probably made some professional soccer player blush.  I dont doubt that it hurt a lot, and after last season's freak blowout of his left knee from stepping on first base, I am sure that he was more than a little worried about his season and career prospects.  But the reports out of Baltimore at this point are the O's are hoping Machado will be ready to come off the DL when he is first eligible on the 27th.  With the O's in the driver's seat in the AL East, suddenly up 7.5 games on the Blue Jays with 41 to go, they might not be in a hurry to rush Machado back into the lineup.  The next couple of weeks could see the O's go on a run and pull away, or it could see them drop back to the pack (and Edwin Encarnacion is coming off the DL today and should give the Jays a boost, essentially replacing Josh Thole in the lineup by pushing Adam Lind back to DH and making Dioner Navarro the primary catcher...thats like using a Tesla Roadster to replace a 1977 AMC Gremlin.