Week 20 ass hDLes -

Happy Friday Tot Heads.  Uncle Jimmy sent this little nugget of awesomeness to me today and I have to share. The Jesus Montero Ice Cream Sandwich Incident.  I'm gonna go wander off on a couple of things on this because it is an otherwise pretty slow day in the Tot League.  Occasionally baseball players (and scouts) are not just ass hDLes, but actual ass holes.

First off, for those of you who dont remember Jesus Montero, he was a one time NYY top catching prospect (and #3 in all of baseball coming into the 2011 season according to Baseball America and Baseball Prospectus) who was traded to the Mariners for Michael Pineda (there were a couple others involved, but they sucked before the trade and havent done anything to change that since).  In 2010 with the AAA Scranton Wilkes-Barre Yankees, Montero hit 289/353/517 with 21 HRs while playing exclusively behind the plate and throwing out nearly 25% of baserunners...as a 20 year old.  Read those stats again and think about what you were doing when you were 20 (I can barely remember that long ago).  He followed that up by hitting 288/348/467 with 18 HRs (in 41 fewer plate appearances than 2010, so he basically had almost the same season) but saw his CS% slip to 20%.  He was rewarded with a September Cup of Coffee which he used to build his hype even more...hitting 328/406/590 with 4 2bs and 4 HRs in 69 plate appearances.  Montero was the stuff career baseball people tell their grandchildren about.  He was a power hitting catcher whose batting average wouldnt destroy his value (the anti-Mike Zunino, if you will) and who also wasnt a turn style who would let fast baserunners run at will against him (this was always the knock on Mike Piazza).  Basically, many in baseball viewed Montero as the next coming of Piazza with the bat who would be slightly better behind the dish.

This one isnt going to have the distance, folks.

The fact that he was traded for Pineda should speak to the expectations many around baseball had for him.  Pineda was coming off a 2011 season in whish he had thrown 171 innings with 173 strikeouts and a 1.09 WHIP as a 22 year old rookie.  Oh yeah, and he is 6'7" tall, weighs 265 pounds and is a genuinely terrifying physical presence.  It appeared as though the Mariners were going to send a 1-2 punch of King Felix and Pineda at the AL West for the next decade and that they were going to be very effective in doing so.  I remember thinking at the time that the Mariners were nuts to make the trade.  You dont trade someone who has proven themselves at the MLB level as an Ace caliber pitcher for a minor leaguer and expect it to turn out well, even if it is a minor leaguer who everyone thinks is going to be the next big thing (look at the track record of trades involving a MLB player for minor leaguers...they almost always end up in favor of the team acquiring the MLBer...this does not make me more pessimistic about the Cubs trading 2/5ths of their starting rotation for a mop up pitcher and 2 prospects...not at all).  Anyways, at the time people thought it would be a win-win.  The Mariners were having trouble getting free agents to want to sign there (which is why they paid Robby Cano roughly the equivalent of the GDP of Greece to sign with them last winter) and needed an impact bat (as a team in 2011, their OPS was 16% below league average including 81 starts for Chone Figgins, who hit .188/241/243 for an OPS+ of 40) and the Yankee starting rotation had some question marks following the departure of AJ Burnett and Bartolo Colon after the 2011 season.

Now with real pine tar on the neck and wrist!

From there, it all went to shit in a hurry.  Pineda tore the labrum in his right shoulder sometime during Spring Training before the 2012 season and was shut down for good in April without having thrown a regular season pitch for the Yankees.  He missed all of 2013 as well, but started 2014 off well before re-injuring himself amidst multiple pine tar incidents (which we have covered before).
Montero played the entire 2012 season with the big team in Seattle as a 22 year old, but regressed in every possible way (or so I thought until today) and his defense became so untennable that the Mariners turned him into a full time DH...though calling his 260/298/386 line a "hitter" might be stretching the definition a bit.  He did hit 15 HRs, but only walked 29 times in 553 plate appearances.   He got worse in 2013.  He got only 110 plate appearances with the big team, hitting 1 HR and putting up a 208/264/327 slash line for an OPS 32% worse than league average.
In 2014, he reported to camp fat (like 40+ pounds fatter than the Mariners expected) and alternated between injured and ineffective (though he has been decent in AAA), which brings us to the present.
If you havent yet, go read the article that I linked.  I'll wait.
Welcome back to those who left.  Thanks to those who stayed.  First off...holy fucking balls man.  How much would you have paid to be in those stands to see this epic showdown which culminated in a flying ice cream sandwich?  $100? $200? $0.25?  There are so many questions...why was a Mariner's scout heckling his own player?  And why take it to the "I'm going to send that guy a ice cream sandwich in the dugout because I think he's fat" place?  Why did Montero get mad? Ice cream sandwiches are delicious; I would have been stoked if someone sent me one when I was playing.  It would have been like treat time after the game in little league.  Why did Montero go nuts and go after the scout with a bat? And why. oh why, did Montero have to harm that defenseless ice cream?  Did the ice cream hit the target or was some innocent 8 year old girl victimized?  I am not sure the world will ever know, but I am pretty sure that both the scout and Montero put nice big nails in their respective careers with this one.  That scout should never be let near another potential player, which, you know, makes it hard to scout them.
 Montero enters the Carl Everett/Milton Bradley zone for players whose mental make up made them...we will call it "difficult" to employ...only Everett and Bradley were certifiable big league hitters in addition to being certifiable crazy pantses...and Montero's career OPS is 4% worse than average (it should be much worse but it isnt due to his insanely good first 69 plate appearances).  I seriously cannot stop imagining Montero (in full catcher's gear..even through I know he wasnt playing in this game, its way more fun) trying to climb the railing next to the dugout but being held back by teammates until he finally gives in and as a last gasp of rage throws the ice cream sammie which (in my imagination) misses the target by 8 rows.  For this week (and probably for life)...Montero gets the real ass hole tag.

On to the fake ass hDLes-

1b,2b Daniel Murphy - BySs - Right Calf Strain
Where I come from, we call these cramps.  Murphy's addition to the DL could very well send Kyler's team to the brink as he doesnt have another 2b on the roster and wont be able to get one until week 1 of the playoffs.  With BySs only 3 games up on the Dust Bunnies for the last playoff spot, missing a 2b, especially one as productive as Daniel Murphy has been is going to leave a pretty sizeable gap in Kyler's hitters production.  There could be a Scooter Gennett sighting in the Tot League for the playoffs...and that makes me almost as happy as imagining Jesus Montero throwing deserts.

OF Shin Soo Choo - ZAttack - Left Elbow Bone Spurs
Choo is out for the year following the decision to surgically remove the chips in his elbow.  That leaves Zach in a bind, but not one like Kyler has, as Matt Kemp can slide into Choo's position (and has on several occasions this year because Choo has sucked it something awful for the majority of the season).  This should have little to no impact on Zach chasing a playoff berth or performing in the playoffs.

THE ENTIRE MARK BAKER HITLESS BASTARD TEAM
So...heres the deal.  MBHB was 11 games up on the 7th spot this week, a virtual lock for the playoffs.  And then they went all 2011 Boston Red Sox/Atlanta Braves.  With 3 days left in the week, we are chasing 11-1 with a matchup with Dusty's Bunnies awaiting in the last week of the season.  The possibility of entering next week's matchup being up only 2 or 3 games on the last playoff spot is suddenly very real.  The epic collapse of the 2014 Hitless Bastards may very well end up the subject of a 30 for 30 short film called, "When Ice Cream Sandwiches Attack."