I mean really, how many people would pay $2 or $4 to have an app that lets you set calendar items or send out texts using quotes from Liam Neeson movies? You set an alarm and Liam Neeson yells out at the prescribed time "Wake up! I need you to be focused! Are you focused yet?" Or you set a security password on your phone and someone unsuccessfully tries to guess the passcorde and you get, "I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my phone go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you." SERIOUSLY?!? Who would not buy that, put in on their phone, enjoy it for 12.3 minutes and then completely forget about it? We're sitting on a fucking gold mine Trebek.
The Pen Is Mightier |
For this week's reclaimation of Thursday, I went with someone who I would be able to stand next to for hours on end and never know that I was next to someone in our league. Zach is Kyler's old roommate and he used to wear the purple and yellow of the Rolling Meadows Mustangs. On with 7 questions in heaven.
This might actually be Zach... |
-Well I'm Zach and I've grown up in Rolling Meadows for my entire life. I played football all through my life until I got to college but unfortunately never played baseball. But I am a life long Cubs fan and will always be a die-hard fan as well. I am here because I love baseball and love following baseball stats. I pretty much know too much about baseball and the players, I know almost all of the prospects and know their strengths and weaknesses. Since I am a huge baseball fan and love stats its almost a given that I would do fantasy baseball. I'm majoring in Business Administration and I just have one more year left of school. If I could choose any job it would be to work in the front office in baseball. Doing anything in the business side of it would be my dream job. if I was able to land that job and live my dream, I'm going to relish every moment of it.
2) Shampoo or Conditioner?
· I'm gonna go with shampoo. You can use that stuff as body
wash, face wash and it cleans your hair. Its like a multi purpose cleaner, but
that might be just me.
(ed note--someone did not watch nearly enough Billy Madison growing up.)
3) Over under on the Cubbies winning a World Series...your death? Explain.
This guy has man crush potential written all over him. In 10 years, there are going to be 294,838 kids named Kris in Chicagoland. |
(ed note-- I am 100% with you on this...but we might be dilussional Cubs fans who have been beaten into submission so many times that when hope is dangled in front of us we latch on with the strength of BIll Kazmaier. I look at that lineup and I cannot help but see that Baez, Bryant and Soler will likely be pushing each other for the same 2 corner OF spots)
4) Were you actually a fan of Saved by the Bell or are you completely uncultured? Favorite Non Kelly Kapowski character (everyone would pick Kelly...everyone)?
· Of course how can you not like Saved by the Bell, but
truthfully I always liked Boy Meets World a little bit better. And favorite
character, that’s an easy one Zach Morris.
5) What needs to happen in order fofr the ZAttach to win the Golden Cripsy Crowns?
Zach thinks Owings is key to his success |
· I am hopefully going to win the Golden Crispy Crown. But
man do I need my offense to start hitting well. I need my catcher to finally
hit (Salavdor Perez or Mike Zunino) and for Chris Owings to hit too. My
pitching just needs to continue to dominate. I'm picking it up though, I
started off slow but I feel like I've been gradually getting better and as the
year goes on Ortiz’s numbers should get better and as Manny Machado continues
to get healthier I feel like he’ll hit better. But most of all my players need
to stop getting hurt (Matt Cain). Its like every week one person comes off the
DL then 2 go back on it. With a healthy team I think I can start to win more.
6) Did you mean to win Nelson Cruz at auction or was that a happy accident? After you won him, did you expect him to be a starter every week? Will you be naming one of your children Nelson?
· Yes I definitely meant to win Nelson Cruz. I didn’t think
he’d be any where near this good but I figured he’d be a pretty good back up.
When I saw I could get him for $4, there was no way o could pass that up. And
after I got him I didn’t even start him for the first few weeks, I think it
took an injury for me to actually put him in and after that he has not left
that lineup. And if he wins me the crown I will consider the name Nelson. Lets
hope Nelson Cruz hears about this and he knows if he wins me the whole thing I
might name my kid after him.
7) Did you play sports growing up? Which ones? Favorite boyhood baseball player and why?
· And I actually never played baseball growing up. I played
basketball for a few years but football was the sport I loved. I played from 2nd
grade all the way through high school. I even played with Jimmy Garoppolo, the
2nd rounder of the Patriots my Junior year of high school. And my favorite
baseball player growing up was Ken Griffey Jr. I wish I could say it was a Cubs
player but come on they only ever had Sosa and as we all know now he used
steroids and corked his bat. Griffey was just a beast, his swing man that has
to be the smoothest and most sweet thing to see. He could crush a homerun and
then rob a homerun the next inning. He could honestly do it all and if he never
got hurt he would probably be one of the best all time players. When I was
younger playing whiffle ball I’d try to bat like Griffey all the time. He’s
just gotta be the player that sticks out the most to me while I was growing up.
Thanks Zach. That JR Griffey sure did show up big in the Mariners-Twins series at the end of Little Big League when homered to give the M's the lead late in the game and then he robbed Lou Collins of a home run to end the game after manager Billy Heywood told Collins that if he took the Big Unit deep then he could marry Billy's mom. Solid choice.
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