Week 5 Recaps

/This week, we will go back to the tried and true method of starting with the blowouts and moving towards the close matchups.




Who knew pitching underhand would be so
successful for Kluber?

Merry Tyler's Moor Traveling Allstars (29-27-4) 9
Huckleberries (23-33-4)                                        1
Tie                                                                          2

The team that KP inherited late Saturday night will no doubt look very different than the team that takes the field next week.   The bloodletting has already begun as Jhonny Peralta, Brandon Beachy and Chad (DJ) Qualls have been sent packing.  With Wilson Ramos set to come off the DL, the franchise may well get scoring from the catcher position for the first time since opening day.  The future is looking up for the Kilmers.  But this week, well this week was more of the same.  Normally reliable Esteban Beltre was awful (182/250/182), as was Adam Jones (190/190/238), but Prince Fielder finally put up a useful line 304/385/391) and Robby Cano knocked in 7.  For MTMTAS, Andrealton Simmons (125/222/250) struggled and Brian McCann continued his surprisingly terrible season (190/190/381) but Christian Yelich put up 5 spots in both runs and RBIs, and Starling Marte's bat finally realized the season has started (381/435/524, 2 SBs).  On the hill, if I asked which pitcher from this matchup would have the most Ks this week, most would have said Stratsburg, Teheran, Gio Gonzalez or AJ Burnett.  I would have guessed Cory Kluber would have been number 5 at the highest.  But Kluber turned in his second consecutive 10+ K week, striking out 18 over a pair of starts this week including a 13 K performance yesterday that featured 7 straight punch outs against the White Sox.  The K barrage pumped his season total up to 48 Ks in 45 innings.  It seems Tyler found a strike out diamond in the shit hole that is Cleveland.



Mark Baker Hitless Bastards (31-28-1)  8
Lester the Molesters (20-38-2)                4

STOP. THE. PRESSES.  The Hitless Bastards actually hit this week, turning in a team line of 306/349/438 to take all three of those categories from Les Moles.  The $60 Man Paul Goldschmidt finally justified his hefty salary by turning in a 440/481/760 line with 4 runs, 3 RBI and 1 SB.  Every member of the Bastards had exactly 1 SB this week except for Jayson Werth.  Werth made up for it by hitting 350/409/500. For Les Moles, Minnesota Mancrush Joe Mauer finally put some breathing room between his batting average and his weight this week with a 429/458/619 line but then, in typical Joe Mauer fashion, left Sunday's game with a lower back injury.  It isnt supposed to be serious, but...its Joe Mauer and these non serious injuries have a tendency to turn into multigame absenses.  On the hill, MBHB once again won categories on the strength of innins volume.  The Hitless Ones threw nearly 23 more innings than Les Moles, which transfered into victories for MBHB in W, K, ERA, QS and Sv+H.  The number of innings allowed MBHB to overcome a terrible start by Cole Hamels (11.57 ERA, 2.79 WHIP) and a week long suckfest by Adam Ottavino (11.57 ERA, 2.57 WHIP, 2 Holds).  Les Moles couldnt overcome similiarly terribly outings by Matt Garza (15.00 ERA, 3.00 WHIP) and Tanner Roark (15.75 ERA, 2.00 WHIP).

 


Yup. Thats a naked Giancarlo holding up the world. You
cant unsee some things.

You Can Call Me Al (30-27-3) 8
Bob's AutoTrackers (35-23-2)  4

This is the second week in a row that Uncle Jimmy has lost a category that had to be calculated out past the display in the scoreboard.  Last week it was OBP to the dearly departed Jerad's team; this week it's WHIP to Bob's ATers 1.221 to 1.224.  At least this week, the category loss didnt determine the entire matchup as Jimmy was still able to hold on in all the other pitching categories except Ks.   UCCMA got great a performance from Cliff Lee (1.29 ERA, 0.86 WHIP, 5 Ks) and Ubaldo JImenez partied like is was 2009, striking out 10 without allowing a run.  The ATers overcame a startlingly bad Adam Wainwright performance against the Cubs to hold on to the WHIP category, but the high ERA and missing what should have been an easy win hurt the other categories.  On offense, Billy Hamilton led Bob's squad in slugging.  That is not a typo.  He had a great week, for sure, slugging .875, but when Billy Hamilton has the high slg % by nearly 300 points, its been a down week for your offense.  UCCMA, on the other hand, had 3 guys slg over .625.  YoAnus! (375/500/625), Buster Posey (409/480/727) and TMGS (348/423/826) led a pretty balanced attack.  Some day, Giancarlo will stop hitting.  It probably wont be soon.  I actually texted Uncle Jimmy and asked him if he was considering naming his soon to be born kid Giancarlo or Giancarla.  He didn't say no.


Backyard Superstars (32-25-3)  7
Dusty's Nustys (31-26-3)           5

Radke is waiting for his call to join Dusty's pitching staff

Dusty rode the previously mentioned Troy Tulowitzki to wins in the 5 categories that Troy Tulowitzki cares about, but Kyler's Kids managed to take SBs and all 6 of the pitching categories to eek out the overall win.  In addition to Tulo, AJ Pierzynski (412), Ian Kinsler (.417), Miguel Cabrera (.417) and Joey Bats (433) all had OBPs over .400.  The Nustys' worst player this week was Mike Trout (200/370/350).  When the previous sentence is a true one, your team likely had a spectacular week with the bats.  For BySs, Cubano Destroyer of Worlds, Yasiel Puig was a 1 man wrecking crew (444/531/593).  Though he couldnt help Kyler keep up in the slash stats, Puig's 3 SBs were more than Dusty's entire team.   On the hill, Dusty's strategy of using as many ex-Twins as possible couldnt quite match up with Kylers's approach of using actual good major league baseball pitchers.  Sonny Gray continued his great season with a win, 9 Ks, a 1.20 ERA and 0.80 WHIP over 2 Quality Starts and the Firing Squad (TM) --the nickname I made up for Kyler's Kimbrel, Uehara, Soriano, Rodney and Tommy Hunter bullpen -- combined to strike out 16 with 8 Sv+H.