Week 8 waiver wire - Everybody was Waiver Wire Fighting

The week 8 waiver day was one of the busiest in the league so far with 9 players swapping in and out.  After last week's league wide hitting and pitching debacles, it really is no surprise that 7 of us made moves and John tried to but was unsuccessful.  The only two who didnt try were Dusty, who has made only 3 moves all year and who openly told me that he doesnt want to use the wire much for fear of "screwing up his team," and KP, who made his assult on the wire last week and is just getting to start his full compliment of additions this week.

As we survey the league on this Tuesday in the middle of May, eight teams stand as solid playoff contenders and Les Moles and Huckleberries are only a couple strong weeks away from playing their way back into the hunt.  As I had hoped it would, so far the 12 W/L decisions per week has kept all of us tightly bunched.  As the summer months approach, it will be interesting to see if one or two of the top teams runs away with their division(s) or if we all stay bunched towards the end of the season.

On to the pickups:

SP/RP Drew Smyly - $1 - MTMTAS - Drop RP Ryan Cook
Cook was a week 6 asshDLe, but really hasnt been as dominating as many were expecting him to be.  With all the replacement bullpen options available, Cook was expendable.  Smyly was dropped by this very same team back in week 3 right before he was moved back into the starting rotation.  With 5 decent outings in a row, including 1 that produced 7 shutout innings with 6 Ks.  With Scherzer, Verlander and Rick Porcello entrenched as starters and Anibal Sanchez now back off the DL, Smyly will be battling with promising rookie Robbie Ray for the 5th starting spot.  At least with Smyly, a los of rotation spot means a trip to the bullpen, not a trip to AAA Toledo.

RP Joaquin Benoit - $1 - Zach Attach - Drop SP,RP ALFredo Simon
Benoit was another player that was dropped but has found a new home, as KP jettisoned Joaquin just last week.  Benoit is a bonified (not Bonifacioed) member of Project Mayhem.  Simon is a strange player to dump, considering that he is the 59th ranked player in the standard Yahoo game and boasts 5 wins, a 1.03 WHIP and is coming off a dominating start against the Phillies in which he went 7 shutout innings, gave up 6 base runners, and fanned 8...and he has dual pitcher eligibility.  Wait, I figured it out while looking for stupid pictures of Simon... Simon is an awful human being.  Back in 2011 he actually shot and killed someone in the Dominican Republic, but was acquitted, and within the past couple weeks, a 2013 incident has come out where he has been accused of rape.  I know that we generally overlook player's real flaws in fantasy, but I wouldnt want this guy anywhere near my team.

OF Melky Cabrera - $1 - Backyard Allstars - Drop OF Carlos Beltran
I have never been a Melky Cabrera fan.  Maybe its the creepy beard with no moustache.  Maybe its the fact that he was a below average major league baseball player who suddenly turned into a batting champ and was then suspended for shooting roids into his butt.  He doesnt do anything overly well, but he does contribute a little bit to each of the scoring categories.  And while he may never be someone you want to consider a "Starter," having a player like him as an injury fall back option is never a bad thing.  Beltran might be sidelined 6-12 weeks if his injury turns out to be as bad as the Skankees fear that it is.  I hope not because it might signal the end for Beltran.  For those of you who are too young to remember the absolute terror that was Carlos Beltran, I implore you to check out his stretch from when he became a full time player in 1999 until his body started to break down in 2008 (Cliff's notes: Over that 10 year stretch he AVERAGED 30 HRs and 31 SBs, though he strangely acheived both in the same year only once, his 38 HR, 42 SB (out of 45 attempts) 2004 season).

SP Nathan Eovaldi - $1 - Les Moles - Drop C Salvador Perez

Revolutioninzing baseball with the chest pass pitch

Eovaldi has comic book eyebrows...like the kind you would expect to see on a Marx brother.  He also has some serious heat on his pitches. He currently has one of the highest average fastball velocities in all of MLB.  Before this year, however, that hadnt really translated into Big League strikeout success in any of his previous 4 partial seasons in the Show.  This year though, Eovaldi has started missing bats, nearly a strikeout an inning, while simultaneously reducing his walk rate and taking his K/BB ratio to nearly 5 to 1.  All signs point to a huge breakout season for Eovaldi. 

RP Brian Shaw - $2 - Zach Attack - Drop RP/general sad person Kyle Farnsworth
The Farnserelli was recently dropped by the Mets and then signed by the Astros.  Now he is being kicked to the curb by the Zack Attack as well.  Rough week in the Farnsworth home. Shaw is a solid RP, though I hear that his jump shot isnt near what it used to be and his other job as coach of the Rich Creamy Nuggets might get in the way of some relief appearances.

1b/OF Brandon Moss - $2 - Bob's AutoTrackers - Drop OF Khris Davis

He's Krushing your head.

This is a sad day for me as Krush Davis has one of my favorite nicknames in MLB right now (there is a huge hole in baseball nicknames at the moment, by the way), but he also has a below average ability to hit.  Brandon Moss does not share that problem.  Moss is 6 feet of home run muscle (not to be confused with 3 long feet of fruity fun...thats Fruit by the Foot).  He may not keep the batting average near .300 for much longer, but the HRs (and thus SLG%) and strikeouts are absolutely for real.

SP/RP Zach Britton - $4 - Mark Bakers Hitless Bastards - Drop C Carlos Ruiz

Presumably Zach "King of the" Britton(s) will be taking over save chances for the Baltimore baseball playing club from Tommy Hunter, or at least sharing them in the immediate future.  Even if he doesnt take over full time, Britton's heavy sinker should continue to yield low ERA and WHIP ratios with slightly above average strikeout totals. 

2b/3b/SS Yangervis Solarte - $5 - You Can Call Me Al - Drop T Mike Moustakas

Greek God of?

This pickup prompted the following exchange between Uncle Jimmy and I this morning:
Jimmy- Each week when I set my roster, I'm calling it "Yanger Management"
Me - Yin Yanger Twins, w/ Lil Jon?
Jimmy - Felt good to finally dump the Greek God of Fellatio off my roster
Me- And here I thought he was the Greek God of Mustache Rides
Jimmy - Mustache riding the pine in Omaha, maybe
Me- Sounds splintery.

Have I mentioned that I love this league?  Solarte has been the savior of the Yankees so far this year.  For that, we should ban him from the Tot League forever because there really wouldnt be anything better than the Yankees crashing and burning (the Cubs winning a World Series would be infinitely better, but theres a better chance that Jimmy gets a mustache ride from Moustakas than there is the Cubs win a World Series right now).  All Solarte has done is hit 313/387/500 with an even number of walks and strikeouts (17).  He also carries eligibilty at 3! positions.  The T at the top stands for Trash...because that is what Moustakas (153/225/323) has played like this season.  He doesnt even deserve a position.

2b Brian Dozier - $8 - MBHB - Drop 2b/3b/OF Emilio Bonifacio


Ask Brian Dozier about his weiner.

Emilio will forever have a place in my heart following the one man, 5 run destruction of Kyler's hopes and dreams last Monday, but he was always a stop gap.  I had envisioned carrying him until Jurikson Profar was ready to go, but the I kept seeing Dozier sitting on the wire week after week as a top 10 overall player.  Each week, I talked myself out of it because, well...he's Brian Dozier- the guy who has never hit more than .244 in a full season.  The guy who never walked much or ran much on the bases.  The guy who was sure to fall off the hot start as soon as the rest of the Twins (hi Chris Colabello!) remembered they werent really Major League caliber players.  This week though, I used my primal pattern recognition skills to see that he really is a different hitter and that the success is likely sustainable.  From the looks of it, at least Kyler and John decided the same thing this week.  This guy was simply too good to remain unclaimed.  Yahoo thinks he is so good that he is on the "Cant Drop List" (he was the only one on the list not on someone's team).  Comparing Dozier and Bonifacio: Dozier +17 in runs, +17 in RBI, +1 in SB, -.035 in BA, +.037 in OBP, and +.125 in SLG.  This should have been a no brainer like 4 weeks ago.