Roster Remodeling - Week 4

There is definitely a trend going on in the Roster Changes section of the Tater Tot blog.  There are apparently 4 of us who are unhappy with our current roster construction because Bob, the brothers Jonas and I have made moves at each of the 4 change periods.  T who shant be yler leads the way with 10 moves over 4 weeks, Zach"k" has 8 and both Bob and I have made 7 moves.  On the other side of the coin, Jerad: The Galleria of Continuity has not yet made a single move.  Unfortunately, that is only solidifying my fear that he joined the league to see how well a team on complete autopilot would do.  Or perhaps he is one of the Soviet sleeper spies like in that show The Americans where Felicity turns her back on her country and becomes a Commie Slutbag.  Only Jerad isnt a Commie Slutbag, instead he's trying to fit in with American culture so he decided to give this baseball thing a try while sitting on his couch wearing a wife beater, eating a corndog on a stick and American Pieing an apple pie.  Only he doesnt understand how fantasy baseball works and he keeps trying to give his players third base coach like signs from his couch but they won't follow what his signs are telling them to do and he's getting more and more angry.  Man those Commies are messed up.

Anyways...there were 7 roster moves this week, and, as we know, 7 is the magic number. In celebration, WE GET TACOS.  Seriously, someone go get me some tacos.  We dont have a TBell out here in St. Charles.  <Quick tangent> I still find myself looking at Colorado Rockies box scores on my phone to see if people who I dont know will get free tacos or not.  This has to be the single greatest promotional idea in the history of sporting events.  If you have people who arent fans of your team, dont live in the area and cannot benefit from your promotion in any way shape or form still following the team that you are promoting, then you have Advertising Winned.  So what if I made that term up 3 seconds ago?  And so what if Kyler and I are the only ones who think "We Get Tacos" is the new "Where's the Beef?"  <End Tangent>

Anyways on to the Not So Quiet Riot:

SP Cole Hamels - $6 - Mark Baker All Stars
It isnt often that you can get a proven #1 pitcher on the waiver wire 3 weeks into the season.  Hamels is on the DL right now, but he is scheduled to come off it and start this Wednesday against the Dodgers and get 2 starts in week 4.  If Hamels had been healthy to start the season, his career rates of nearly 1 K/inning, 1.14 WHIP and 3.38 ERA would have cost much more than $6.  The down side is that he is tied to an awful Phillies team so his wins will likely suffer, but he will get credit for quality starts.  The other downside is that his name is Cole.  Luckily though, it is with a C not a K, I don't
think I could have handled multiple Koles.

2b/SS Dee Gordon - $3 - Bob's AutoTrackers
I discovered a new toy on the yahoo site this morning; the FAAB Bids tab on the transaction section.  This new toy tells me that both Kyler and I also bid on Gordon this week, but both bid $2 to Bob's $3.  Thanks for being a dick Bob.  We all know what Gordon has been in the past -- a super fast athletic freak who couldnt hit enough or play good enough SS defense to stick at the MLB level.  But this year, Flash Gordon's kid has starting hitting and has a clear path to time at 2b until Cuban import Alex Guerrero is ready. As long as he has a starting gig, he should be eminently startable.  Also, BR.com just informed me that his Twatter handle is @flashGjr, which makes him even awesomer.


SP Scott Kazmir - $2 - Merry T's Moors
Scotty K is one of the best stories in baseball so far this year.  He was once a super prospect in the Tampa Bay Devil Rays system (#7 in all of baseball in 2005) and lived up to that promise striking out nearly 10 per 9 innings over 500+ innings between 2006 and 08.  Then in 2009 his K rate plummeted, his walk rate rose and he gave up hits at a higher rate than ever before.  The DRays dumped him on the Angels, who got 6 great starts out of him to end the 09 season.  That magic disappeared in 2010 and Kazmir was released after 1 outing in 2011.  In 2012 he was so desperate he pitched for the Independant Sugarland Skeeters, aka the team that now has Tracy McGrady throwing for them. In 2013 he won a job with the Indians and threw 150 innings with a K/9 over 9 and a walk rate lower than it had ever been in his career.  He signed with the A's this offseason and has dominated to the tune of 21 baserunners allowed in 27 1/3 innings with 24 Ks.  With a big ballpark and better than ever command, there is no reason he can't continue.  This is a nice pickup for T.

2b Jedd Gyorko - $2 - The Zach"k" Attach"k"
I recently found out that his last name is pronounced "Jerko" and could not think of a more appropriate name for him.  Look at that chin chub and those dead eyes.  He might as well be a ginger because I see no soul.  The only thing I see there is a man who thrives on stealing the souls of countless fantasy baseball players who are dumb enough to put him in their starting lineups.  You're dead to me Jedd Jerko.


C Devin Mesoraco - $2 - MBAS-
Meso"theli"raco started the season on the DL, but since his activation has been a cancer for opposing pitchers.  Too far? Judges? Allow it? OK.  In his first 10 games this year, Meso is hitting 541/571/946 and, no, those are not typos.  I checked 3 different websites.  Now, there is no way that is going to continue because Devin Mesoraco is not the greatest hitter in the history of the world.  But he was a highly touted prospect (#14 per MLB.com heading into 2012) and flashed good contact skills with 15-20 HR power in the high minors.  Also, hes from Punxsutawney, PA and him and Punxsutawney Phil are homeboys.  He also looks like a huge meathead.  And, whereas Jedd Jerko is an annoying meathead that no one wants around, Devin is a loveable meathead who makes jokes and eats lots of junk food.

OF Christian Yelich - $1 - MT'sM
Yelich is an ubertalented, top 20 prospect, 22 year old OFer who gets to hit in front of The Mighty Giancarlo Stanton.  Basically, all Yelich has to do is get on base (which he has done so far this year at a .407 clip) and TMGS will hit him in every time. Every. Time.  He's been on bas 35 times in 18 games and has already scored 15 runs.  This is a potential steal of a keeper for T's OF.  Additionally, he looks like he is about 15 years old and will soon be helping his older, hot female friends out with their Promposals.  I dont know what that is, but I hear its a thing now.


RP Tony Watson - $1 - MT'sM
Tony Watson is a member of Project Mayhem.


I have a bit of a teaser: After an off day tomorrow, I will be back with a new feature on Thursday before the ass hDLes segment on Friday.  If anyone has any other ideas for things that would be fun and/or funny to read and/or write or would go together with the stuff already here like lamb and tuna fish, let me know.

Hok, peace out.