Week 3 Recaps

The past 2 weeks, I have been starting with the close matchups, then moving towards the more lopsided ones.  This week, I am going to turn that on its head and recap the biggest blowout in the history of Tater Tot first, then let the tension build until it erupts in a geyser of ooey gooey magic all over your face.  I can't wait...

Bob's Autotrackers (22-12-2) 11
Lester's Molesters  (7-27-2)    1

I am going to let that sink in.

It's almost as if Tom took his team aside and said, "Guys, I feel bad for Merry T's Moors and all the shit that Lou has been giving them.  This week, we should go out there and do the worst possible job that we can.  In fact, lets stop being Molesters this week and let ourselves get Molested!"  And then a big cheer went up in the locker room and they ate the minstrels.

Seriosuly though. what else could explain the turd sandwich that Joe Mauer (200/310/200) and Torri Hunter (211/211/211) put up?  What about Chase Utley going from being one of the best players in the league during week 2 to pulling off the incredibly difficult feat of having an OBP lower than his BA with neither above .250?   Or how about David Price, the 2012 Cy Young award winner, throwing up a 10.80 ERA with a 2.20 WHIP?  The scene in the Sandlot where the boys ride the spinny thing (technical term) with big plugs of Big Chief before inevitibly swollowing some and vomitting all over everyone in the area was more fun to watch.

Outside of Adam Wainwright and Chris Sale putting up spectacular starts because that is what Adam Wainwright and Chris Sale do and Elvis Andrus single handedly winning the SB category with 5 swipes this week, the rest of the AutoTrackers biggest accomplishment was that they didn't turn in one of the worst performances of the year.


MWP Masters (22-12-2)           7
Backyard Superstars (22-11-3) 4
Tie                                             1

John's pitching staff did their best Black Knight Impression.

This matchup featured the top two teams in the Harmony divison and left BySs up by only a half game in the standings heading to week 4.  After posting the ridiculous slash line last week, Kyler's BySs other than Joey Votto (429/571/714) came back down to Earth but he was still able to win 4 of the 6 hitting categories.  John's Money Weed and Pitching Masters won 5 of the 6 pitching categories and tied the last.  It was a truely remarkable performance by John's 5 starters.  Each of them started once, all were quality starts, 4 registered wins, 3 struck out more than 10 batters and only 1 allowed an earned run (the one who allowed the run was not the one who didnt register the win).  MWP's bullpen almost did enough to let Kyler's staff back into the game.  Dear Harmony division, these are the two teams to beat after 3 weeks.



Dusty's Nustys (17-16-3)          6
Springfield Isotopes (16-19-1)  5
Tie                                             1

When I look at this matchup, I can't help but wonder, "What if?" What if Jerad had started an actual catcher for the first time since week 1, or if he had started a non DL 3rd baseman, or even, what if he had not inexplicably left SP Hiroki Kuroda on the bench with a SP slot open?  Jerad is slightly below .500 for the season and his team has played short handed in each week.  The Topes have done quite well this year in the rate stats but cannot measure up in the counting ones because the other team is playing with as many as 10-12 more player games worth of at bats.  This matchup featured my two favorite MLBers doing things that show why they are my two favorite MLBers.  Adam Jones (Topes) hit 429/455/524 (HE WALKED!!!!) with 2R, 3RBI and 2SBs and Troy Tulowitzki (Nustys) hit 500/621/818 with 8R and 6RBI.



You Can Call Me Al (17-17-2)  6
Mark Baker All Stars (20-15-1) 5
Tie                                               1

This is an actual text string between Uncle Jimmy and I:

I love this league!  This matchup came down to the bats of David Wright (464/500/500 3R 6RBI 1SB) and The Mighty Giancarlo Stanton (333/481/714 6R 10RBI),  Stanton's 10 RBI were nearly half of the total that UCCMA put up this week and his walk off Grand Salami might not have landed yet.  TMGS's homers make Brad Lidge cry a little inside every time he sees one on SportsCenter.  And I thought Lidge was impervious to crying after what Albert Pujols did to one of his pitches back in like 2005.  That ball has definitely not landed yet, and that was almost 9 years ago.  Go ahead and google Pujols HR Lidge.  I'll wait.  Spoiler Alert, it ends like this:

On the pitching side, Jose Veras tried to look this Lidge in that pitcure, once again posting an WHIP over 4.00 and an ERA over 27.00.  For the MBAS, Justin Verlander, Madison Bumgarner and Danny Salazar all had WHIPs over 1.93.  Blah.