Week 2 Roster Moves

I'll be honest, I thought that we would see a slow down in roster moves this week.  It looks like I underestimated our collective need to overreact to extremely small sample sizes and the allure of premium pitching prospects. 

I got to enjoy one last round of MLB Extra Innings last night, and to my delight, Tulo went yard for the Rockies 7th run of the game and they showed the bomb on the Mike Shaw Subaru Super Mo about 6 times.  So...one last time, with feeling!







I dont know why, but this will never get old.






And with that, on to self inflicted roster damages:

SP Robert Stephenson - $2 - Bob's AutoTrackers - I have absolutely no fucking clue who this guy is.  A quick google search tells me that there are 2 options.  Options: A) Bob just picked up the Scottish novelist and poet who wrote Treasure Island and Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde and was born in 1850 then died in 1894; B) Bob picked up a 21 year old strike out machine who is currently playing AA baseball in Pensicola in what baseballreference refers to as the SOUL league.  Dead fantasy writer or soul sucking strikeout machine?  I'm not sure which will be in the majors first, but for $2 Bob will try just about anything.


OF Khris Davis - $2 - Bob's AutoTrackers - Other than spelling his name wrong, there is a lot to like about Davis.  He has a solid starting spot in a slightly better than average lineup and has a solid minor league track record that features decent power, moderate speed and exceptional slash stats.  Also, his nickname according to B-R is Khrush (with eyeliner).  Had I known about the nickname, I might have bid all the money.  Not just what I have left, I mean all the money anywhere.


Emilio!

2b/3b/OF Emilio Bonifacio - $2 - Mark Baker All Stars - Here is your classic overreact.  Bonifacio has been in MLB for 8 years and played exactly 1 meaningful season in the majors, 2011.  In that season he had 36 RBIs.  But he's hitting .500 through a week!





RP Matt Lindstrom - $1 - You Can Call Me Al - No Uncle Jimmy, I can call you a glutton for punishment.  From North Sider Jose Veras who cant get anyone out to South Sider Matt Lindstrom who cant get anyone out.

SP Matt Garza - $1 - LesMoles - Every season Matt Garza sucks you in and then breaks your heart and your will in new and unexpected ways.  I would have thought Tom would have been familiar with this from Garza's Twinkies years.  Perhaps this is the year he breaks the trend (and not himself), for $1 and a chance at a potential stud, its worth the risk.

SP/RP Tanner Roark - $1- LesMoles - Roark is an interesting player without a real fit right now.  He is in the Naty Lights rotation because Doug Fister fistered himself, but doesnt figure to stay there this season once the Nats are at full strength. He will likely be sent to AAA and that could be only a week or 3 away.  He could be a great stache (see what i did there?) for the future though.

SP Rick Porcello - $1 - Merry T Moors - Depsite losing the yler from his name this week, T was active on the wire again.  Porcello has been labeled a bust by many people, but hes still just 25 and has shown tremendous improvement in his ability to miss bats over the past year or so.  If he can sustain that trend, he will be a formidible rotation mate for Verlander, Scherzer and Sanchez.

RP Jose Valverde - $1 - MWP Masters - PAPA GRANDE!!!  Valverde leads the league in overzealous celebrations and is right up there in overall fatness.  But, he still strikes out a batter an inning and has a decent grip on the Mets 9th inning role.  Chase those saves John.

C Mike Zunino - $1 - Zach Attack - Zunino was a upper teir prospect a couple short years ago, but has never turned that into anything resembling a decent major league caliber season. Picking him up and dropping Jared Saltalamacchia, who is a proven backstop is perplexing to say the least.

RP Sergio Santos - $1 - Zach Attack - Ahh Sergio. For his career he has been virtually unhittable in odd numbered years and eminently hittable in even numbered years.  One thing that remains constant is his K ability and his relatively low HR rate.  He has the 9th inning in Toronto until Casey Janssen comes back or he completely implodes because the year ends in something other than a odd digit.

RP Adam Ottavino - $1 - Mark Baker All Stars - Yet another danger of watching MLB Extra Innings is irrationally becoming a fan of a player that you had never paid any attention to before.  Such is the case with me and Adam Ottavino.  His last name starts and ends with O and he changed his number from 37 to 0 this year which looks like another giant O on his back.  This makes me inexplicably happy.  I love everything about the 2014 Colorado Rockies and their broadcast.  Also, he throws a straight filthy slider.

Finally, a two-fer.
SP Jonathon Gray - $1 - Merry T Moors
SP Noah Snydergaard - $1- Zach Attack

Zach - Hey T.  Sorry about your name man.
T - No worries, my team sucked it something hardcore last week.
Zach - So, last week we picked up matching Pirate prospects, hows that working out for you?
T-  Pretty good man.  Gregory Polanco is raking right now, how Jameson?
Zach- Do you mean the player or the 1/5th I drank when he blew his elbow out?
T- Either, both sound like a good night followed by a shitty morning.

Zach- Yeah, this week, we should totally pick up matching hot pitching prospects.
T- Dude, you need to stop copying me.
Zach: Whatever bro, youre copying me.  I'm picking up the Norse God of Ks Noah Snydergaard and his 6'6" of whoop your ass.
T: Well suck it, Mark Paul Gosselaar.  I'm picking up Jon Gray.  He doesnt need some stupid nickname, he'll just strike your ass out.  He's so good he was drafted thrice!
Zach: Shut up or I'll noogie you.
T: Well I'll snake bite you.
Zach: I'll tell mom.
T: You better not or else!
Zach: Or else what?
T: Or else I'll take out Snydergaard like I took out Tallion. Muuuuaaahhhahahahaha!