Tater Tot Awards for Fantasy Baseball Playing Gentlemen and the Players Whom They Own... But Not Like That - Volume 2

It's award time superfriends.  I wont waste time getting into it.  I have been putting this together over the last few weeks, so when you read them, pretend that we don't know that there was a media slob job on all things Cubs or that Don Joshaldson won the AL MVP.  Live with me in ignorance... 

On to the show!


Bump Bailey Award (Bone Thugs MVP)
Paul Goldschmidt - MBHB - 321/435/570, 103 R, 110 RBI, 21 SBs

Go ahead and call me a homer.  Go ahead and call me Homer, if you want.  But there was no player more valuable to a fantasy team this year than this guy.  He was one of only 3 players to score 100 and knock in 100 while in active lineups this year (Jose Bautista and MBHB teammate Josh Donaldson were the others; YoAuns! and Crash Davis also achieved the milestone on the season, but they weren't in lineups or weren't on their respective fantasy teams for at least some of that production).  He finished as one of 4 season long Escalator Club members (Bryce Harper, Joey Votto and Miggy Cabrera were the others, though Miggy didn't qualify for the batting title, so he may or may not count, depending on your feelings about that sort of thing) and he was one of 27 players that had 21 or more stolen bases.  None of the other names mentioned in any of the above paragraph finished with more than Votto's 11.  Goldschmidt spent a good part of the season doing a fairly passable right handed Lou Gehrig impersonation.  Pretty much, if you were looking for someone who was an all around fucking superstar, this is your guy.  Well, he's actually my guy, so, sorry, you can't have him.  I actually almost threw him back into the pool last year because of his $60 salary.  If I would not have had to trade Anthony Rizzo for 0 weeks worth of production out of Aramis Ramirez, I would have been watching Goldschmidt put up this production for another team...probably Jimmy's team, because everyone good seemed to end up on Jimmy's team.


Henry Rowengartner Award (Bone Thugs Pitcher of the Year)

Jake Arrieta - UCCMA - 229 IP, 22W, 236Ks, 1.77/0.86, 29 QS

Talking about good players ending up on Jim's team....  I think the Arrieta narrative has been beaten into the ground sufficiently over the last few month.  Suffice to say, he's been terrific at throwing a ball and making very skilled men look like not-so-skilled koala bears.  You can look at the numbers, they are right up there and they are terrific.  What interests me about Arrieta is what in the world are the Cubs going to do with him.  The easy/quick response is sign him up.  But there are warning signs.  Something happened to him during the 3rd or 4th inning of the Wild Card game against Pittsburgh and his velocity dropped from 96/97 to 92/93 and his off speed stuff lost a bunch of its bite.  He was able to David Eckstein his way through the rest of that game, but it showed in his outings against the Cardinals and Mets.  Maybe it was a bit of fatigue setting in after a once in a life time run, maybe it was a tweak.  But whatever he reason, if the Cubs sign Arrieta long term now, they are paying for the unicorn season.  He is controllable for two more years, so it wouldn't surprise me to see them let him go at least to start this year and see if he can come close to a repeat performance before they move to lock him up.  On top of that, many in baseball think that the Cubs are going to end up with the 30 year old David Price this offseason.  With Lester already on the books through his age 49 season (approximate) and a Price contract that will be at least 5, probably 6 years, and will pay him over $25 million per season until after his 35th birthday, will the Cubs want to pony up top dollar for another pitcher in his mid to late 30s while still growing all of those young hitters?  Arrieta will be 31 next year, and as I said earlier, is controllable through the end of his age 32 season.  Any extension would kick in AFTER that.  So a 4 or 5 year extension would take him to his 37 or 38 year old season and would likely pay him north of $20 mil per season as well.  I don't care how many young superstar hitters you have, paying 3 35+ year old pitchers over $20 million a season each doesn't sound like a winning formula to me.

Jake Taylor Award (Harmony MVP)
Jose Altuve - BySs - 313/353/459, 86 R, 67 RBI, 39 SBs

This was actually the most difficult award to give out.  With all of the big time hitters in MLB residing over in the Bone Thugs division, there was kind of a dearth of options in Harmony.  It basically came down to a bunch of very similar valued players. Anthony Rizzo had an amazing season (278/387/512, 94R 101RBI 17SB) and in any normal year would garner some serious real life MVP buzz (this year all of the MVP buzz goes to Bryce Harper.  Seriously, he should get all first place votes, all of the second place votes, all of the 3rd place votes, all of the 4th place votes and all of the 5th place votes.  Anyone in the BWAA who doesn't vote Harper 1st should immediately lose his or her privilege of covering baseball for whatever publication they work for.).  Rizzo would be a fine choice here, and might even be the right one.  But I am going to go with Altuve.  Actually...that's a lie.  I cant do it.  I really really want to, but Altuve was basically a poor man's AJ Pollack this year...and there isn't anything wrong with that, but when AJ is better in every single one of the 6 categories we use to score, I cant name you MVP.  I am sorry Jose, but there is no amount of Altuves that will win the Jake Taylor this year.  Let's try this again:

Jake Taylor Award (Harmony MVP)

Manny Machado - Javy Bombs - 286/359/502, 102 R, 86 RBI, 20 SBs

And I feel dirty writing that.  Once upon a time I really wanted to like Manny Machado.  He's a tremendous baseball player. He impresses just about everyone with his ability to throw thunder bolts to first while sitting on the left field foul line.  He runs with the speed and agility of a much smaller man.  And he can drop bombs, 35 of them this year to be exact...and he is 23 years old.  He also plays for the O's, and most of you know about my affection for all things Orioles stemming from my days playing on the Chicago Orioles (where we wore the same jerseys as the Baltimore team, but had different lids).  Unfortunately, beyond all of that, Machado is a dick.  Like, we're talking a bigger dick than Bob.  And I don't like to give out big important awards to dicks.  Can I give the award to Bryce Harper even though he didn't play in that league?  No?  Fine.  We'll just move on.

Steve Nebraska Award (Harmony Pitcher of the Year)
Clayton Kershaw - Javy Bombs - 232 2/3 IP, 16 W, 301 Ks, 2.13/0.88, 27 QS

Last season I wrote, " I think that NL teams need to start coming up with ways to make Kershaw think that a game in the middle of May is Game 1 of the NLDS.  Otherwise, the Steve Nebraska Award might as well set up permanent residence in th still just 26 year old pitcher's living room."  Well, the Steve isn't going anywhere any time soon.  Kershaw put up what was arguably his most dominating season yet.  He didn't have the signature moments like scoreless streak, or the no hitter that he had last season, but Kershaw struck out 301 batters, becoming the first pitcher to do so since 2002 when Randy Johnson's mullet and Curt Schilling both topped the mark. <<Quick side note.  I remember Randy Johnson pretty clearly.  I was 12 when he started his dominance in 1993 and I was in my baseball watching heyday as he was destroying Major League hitters and I saw a fair number of his starts and probably just about all of the highlights on SportsCenter.  But when I look at the stats, I am still completely blown away.  Everyone was amazed with Kershaw hit 300 Ks this year, and strikeouts around the league are up, with the last 2 years the highest number of strikeouts per game in the history of major league baseball (7.70 in 2014, 7.71 in 2015).  In 1998, the Big Unit struck out 329 batters.  Then struck out 364 in 1999, 347 in 2000, 372 in 2001, and 334 in 2002.  In those years, the highest strike outs per game was 6.67.  That's not really very fair.>>  Kershaw was able to increase that strikeout total while reducing his walks to 42.  That 7.167 strikeouts to walks ratio, in addition to the still low ERA and WHIP, tell you that hitters knew they were getting strikes and still couldn't do anything with it.


Jimmy Dugan Award (Manager of the Year)- Kevin, Ghetto Cowboys

Kevin took over an absolutely terrible team last year, and managed to make it respectable.  This year, he was able to build with his own players and turned in a solid regular season performance.  In the playoffs, he really turned it on taking the last entry spot in the playoffs and turning it into a 3rd place overall finish.  He was in from the beginning of the season on Miguel Sano, jumped on Lorenzo Cain before anyone else did, and made a big trade for Stephen Strasburg, but the biggest thing that he did this year was not trade Bryce Harper.  I know Kevin was at least toying with the idea as him and I talked about it very early in the season (I backed out, refusing to part with Cole Hamels and telling Kevin why I wasn't interested in his $53 salary, "I'm not sure he has potential to be a Trout type player anymore.  He regressed badly last year to the point where he was barely above average.  He is still just 23 and obviously has talent, but I'm not sure the Nats should be printing up his Cooperstown plaque just yet."  Whoops.  Missed that evaluation by a smidge.

Icky Woods Award (Unexpected Greatness)
Marco Estrada - FA -
If you would have asked any self respecting Brewer fan for an over/under on the number of HRs Marco Estrada was going to allow if he were able to throw 181 innings this year, they likely would have set the bar at a Brad Radkeian 40.  Instead, he limited the HRs allowed to 24, managed to limit hard contact better than in any of his previous seasons, dropped his WHIP down to 1.04 and won 13 games to help the Blue Jays get to the ALCS.  And not a single one of us believed in it enough to add him to our roster for $1.

Iceman Val Kilmer Award (Pickup of the Year)
AJ Pollack  ($1) - Pick up by BySs, now on MBHB
Lots of times there is a player who shows up on the waiver wire early in the season with ridiculous numbers, and then the league remembers he is Tuffy Rhodes and the player goes back to being a mostly anonymous cog in the baseball wheel (see Charlie Blackmon or Devin Travis).  Pollack was not that player this year.  He did start off hot, but then the cold streak never came...the COLD STREAK NEVER CAME!  Pollack finished the season as the #4 overall hitter with a 315/367/498 slash line and 111 runs, 76 RBIs and 39 stolen bases.  Kyler dealt him to me for Cole Hamels (I don't know what it was about Hamels, maybe his $6 salary, but I could have moved him for Harper and did move him for Pollack.  He must have beer flavored nipples) when I needed an OFer to replace the DL'ed Springer and craptastic (to that point) Christian Yelich.

Icarus Award (High Acheivement, Then Crash)
Young Joc (Ghetto Cowboys)

Has there ever been someone more fitting for this award than Joc Pederson this year? In the first half of the season, Pederson was everything that the Dodgers had hoped he would be when they called him up late in 2014.  He played tremendous defense, hit 20 HRs in 89 games and got on base at a .364 clip.  The batting average hung around .230, but with adjustments, that should have settled in between .240 and .250 with a .375 OBP, solid power and elite defense.  He made the All-Star team, put on a great show in the Derby and had people talking about an epic Rookie of the Year showdown with not yet fully formed Kris Bryant.  Then...the second half of the season happened.  Joc hit 178/317/300.  The power disappeared (only 6 HRs), when he did make contact it wasn't with any authority.  He hit 169/229/258 in 96 PAs in July, then followed it up by hitting 120 with a 260 slugging in 74 August plate appearances.  He finished behind Justin Bour in the RoY voting.  He is still just 23, and he has the physical talent to be a solid MLB player (even with the awful second half he finished with a 112 OPS+), but... actually, I am going to avoid saying anything here so we don't repeat the great Bryce Harper fiasco of 2015.

Jhonathan Solano Award (Worst Player won at auction) -
Danny Santana $1 (Ghetto Cowboys)
This is a carry over from the keeper list.  You all know my feeling on Danny Santana, but the advanced metrics back me up.  Danny Santana was the least valuable player in the majors this season.  It appears as though the Twins have moved on...I hope that we can all move on as well.


Ned Yost Award (Curious Managerial Decisions that somehow seem to end up ok) -
Dusty
Here is a list of some of the Dusty Manager choices this year:
1) He left Troy Tulowitzki in the lineup for the first round of the playoffs even through everyone knew he was not going to be playing and despite having a perfectly terrible JJ Hardy on the bench.
2) He drafted Austin Jackson and kept him on the team for the entire season, even when he was traded from Detroit to Seattle and didn't have a starting job and even when he was traded from Seattle to the Cubs and was barely playing twice a week.
3) He started the aforementioned Austin Jackson over Adam Dunn Chris Davis in the playoffs in the same round that he started Tulo.  Needless to say, the Dust Bunnies were victorious against the Hitless Bastards in this round.
4) He drafted Jhonathan Solano last season.  This will never be ok and will never not be held against Dusty.
5) He spent approximately 86% of his salary on hitters, leaving pitchers many of us have never heard of to pitch meaningful innings for his fantasy team.
6) He splurged on the waiver wire for a $3 pickup of Drew Pomeranz.  This was his largest pickup of the season as he spent a grand total of $14 from his FAAB budget.
7) He made exactly one trade all season...and in that trade gave away Nolan Arenado (the #5 overall hitter in our league) for a box of Mike Trout salty pretzels, hunter pence's scooter and a pile of pitching poop.

Despite all of these things, somehow Dusty managed to get to the Semi-Finals and ultimately finish in 4th place.  Rereading the previous items makes me lose my faith in humanity and in fantasy sports.
 
  

Stuffs

There have been a number of big things going on in the life of the Tot Heads since the baseball season began, and I would be remiss if I didn't mention them.  I am sorry that I didn't get to these sooner and that there isn't more to each of them.  I am proud to be a part of this group and I think that it is very cool that we get to see each other grow up and go through major life events at similar times.

We'll start at the top:

LC TomSula -  LC TomSula is making his lady friend Britney his assistant coach for life TONIGHT (10/16/15).  The official wife and children of the Tater Tot blog and I will be in attendance.

Uncle Jimmy and his wife are expecting their second son (who I am hoping will be named Warren Giancarlo, I think I almost convinced his wife the first time around, maybe I will have more success this time) in a few weeks.

Dusty married my sister-in-law, officially joining the family for good now.  There's not getting out buddy.

Kyler is graduating from college and will be starting adult life in about 2 months.

The Sizzler (aka John) pulled the combo, getting engaged to his lady friend and they are now expecting a son as well.

I am not really sure what's going on with Kevin. 

Tyler and Zach are continuing to fight about random things.

Bob is still a dick.

Championship Wishes and Caviar Dreams

What an amazing couple of weeks worth of playoff baseball we have been privileged to watch.  From amazing pitching performances (Johnny Cueto going full on Walking Dead after it looked like his season was completely cooked), to ridiculous power displays (6 different Cubbies hitting homers in game 3 of their NLDS series) to epic collapses (I'm looking at you Astros) to freak-flag-flying bat flips (as Uncle Jimmy called him "Sir Joseph Bats of Smashland"), there have been memorable things to watch every night thus far.
Most of you know, or remember from reading this in the past, that I played baseball through college.  I would guestimate that I have spent roughly 15% of my waking life playing or watching some sort of baseball (backyard, little league, high school, college, blitzball, wiffleball, dipperball, I am sure I am missing some), so seeing something that I have never seen before is pretty rare. Still, this playoff has delivered things I have never seen in consecutive nights. 
Last night, with a runner on first and the infield severely shifted to the right side of the diamond, lefty pull hitter Lucas Duda drew a walk.  Daniel Murphy (whose later home run provided the winning margin and about whom many Mets fans will surely write Homeric epic poems entitled "The Murphiad"...yes they will all title them the same thing, back off) trotted towards second base, where he met Dodger SS Corey Seager and 3b/garden gnome Justin Turner.  Murphy then realized that, with Gnome Turner covering second, that there was nothing keeping him from simply continuing on to third, so he did.  A few pitches later, a sac fly sent him home to tie the game and set the stage for his later GW bomb.  I cant recall a time when a player was able to essentially steal 3b on a walk that sent him to second.  I have seen multiple times where a player who walks with a runner on third will run to second (famously depicted in Little Big League as something that Ty Cobb and Wahoo Sam Crawford used to do fairly often - no idea if they did or not, but Billy Heyward says they did, so I believe him), but taking a base because no one was on that half of the field is a new one.  And for it to happen in such a huge game, and, really, to swing the tide of the game towards the visitors will cause some change.  Perhaps it will force some teams to reconsider putting every infielder on one side of the field when there is a runner on base.  Perhaps it will cause some to make sure that someone, anyone knows that third base needs to have someone paying attention to it.
The night before, not only did Russell Martin (who I apparently desperately want to call Russell Wilson) manage to hit Shin Soo Choo-Choo's bat/arm with a throw back to the pitcher that bounced harmlessly down the 3rd baseline and allowed Roughy Odor to score from third base to break a tie in the 7th inning of a deciding playoff game, in the next half inning Elvis Andrus managed to make 2 errors and fail to save a teammate from making another in a 3 batter sequence, allowing all 3 hitters to reach base and eventually score when Sir Joseph Bats hit one to Ottawa and then stared down no one in particular, puffed up his cheeks and then threw his bat to Niagra, and in between and after, the crowd went all Disco Demolition and started raining down garbage onto the field, players emptied benches twice and Rangers pitchers Sam Dyson proved he doesn't understand team dynamics by insisting that the Royals bean Sir Joseph to get back at him for what he did to the Rangers...umm..what?  Read that 177 word sentence again.  That is a season's worth of craziness that happened in roughly 50 minutes.
The night before that, the Cubs clinched a playoff series at Wrigley Field for the first time ever.  The stadium opened in 1914 and the Cubs moved in in 1916 (the Cubs played at the West Side Grounds; the Chicago Whales of the Federal League played at Wrigley - then called Weeghman Park - in 1914 and 1915 before the Federal League folded. The owner of the Whales, Charles Weeghman, put a group together to buy the Cubs from then owner Charles Taft, the younger brother of President William Taft, and moved the team from West Side Grounds to Weeghman Park) and in the 99 years since, no Cubs team had clinched a playoff series while wearing the home whites.  This seems statistically impossible, but...it happened.  Seemingly equally statistically impossible is the ball that Kyle Schwarbomb hit that somehow landed on top of the right field video board...and stuck the landing (the Russian judges only gave it a 9.6...they say that it bounced a little on impact).
Earlier in the playoffs, the second or third tallest player in MLB history, pitcher Chris Young, gave up a single to the shortest player currently playing (there have been a number of players smaller than Jose Altuve's 5'6" frame, but almost all of them are from a time when humans weren't as large as they are now and when baseball wasn't as physical a game.

Also, here is an email conversation between Kyler and I this morning that I feel compelled to share:

From: Commish
To: Kyler Sieben
Sent: Friday, October 16, 2015 9:32 AM
Subject: twobecomeone

I did not see the beer slip and slide, but I like it.  Unfortunately, I must be against all things Mets (other than Matt Harvey, I will still like Matt Harvey) for the next several weeks.  So that means that you will hear plenty of “Jacob deGrom is Val Kilmer” comments from me (seriously though, how has no one else said this before?)

 

Until he grows out the Doc Holiday mustache and beard – he doesn’t exist to me.  If he does that and starts calling himself docTor deGrom, he will become my favorite non family member human being.

From: Kyler Sieben
To: Commish

Sent: Friday, October 16, 2015 9:46 AM
Subject: RE: twobecomethree

 

Jacob deGrom is a Saint!!

Hurray for coach TomSula (who is getting married tonight!!!!!!). You should toast him and while doing so refer to him as “the real TomSula” and “Tot head Champion”.

I wish draft weekend was closer….

From: Commish
Sent: Friday, October 16, 2015 10:00 AM
To: Kyler Sieben
Subject: RE: twobecomethree

 

Jacob deGrom is a saint, you say?  Well Val Kilmer starred in a movie called “The Saint.” 

Is this a picture of Val in the movie? Is it a picture of docTor deGrom waiting for a subway?

I will leave it at that.


I also heard some rumor that MLB wasn't the only ones that had a playoff recently...

You Can't Tie in Baseball

The matchup for all the Taters featured the two best regular season teams, Uncle Jimmy's UCCMA and Kyler's Backyard Superstars, and, much like in the regular season, there wasn't much separating them.

For all the tots:

Team	R	RBI	SB	AVG	OBP	SLG	W	K	ERA	WHIP	QS	SV+H	Score
You Can Call Me Al	23	24	3	0.261	0.321	0.462	1	67	3.07	1.22	4	4	7
Backyard Superstars	17	12	6	0.210	0.263	0.282	4	43	3.91	1.14	4	9	4

For Jim, the offense carried the day, with Prince Fielder (367/406/633) and Kris Bryant (333/429/722) throwing up Escalator Club numbers and Fielder scoring 5 while knocking in 6.  For Kyler, Edwin Encarnacion carried no parrots with his 042/115/042 0R 0RBI line.

On the hill, Max Scherzer (1W 13K 0.00/0.86 1 QS) and Chris Archer (12K 0.00/0.25 1 QS) posted solid lines for Jimmy while Dellin Betances added 9Ks with a 0.00/0.90 slash and 2 sv/H.  Sonny Gray and Jacob deGrom were their usual solid selves with 1W 5K 2.25/0.75 1QS for Gray and 9K 2.45/0.82 1QS for deGrom.  Unfortuantely for Kyler, David Robertson (1W 3K 10.80/2.10 1 SV) and Greg Holland (3K 13.50/2.25) both did their best Tire Fire Frieri impression.

Others who had major impact on the outcome, either positively or negatively, included Marcus Semien (UCCMA - 4 runs), Pablo Dookieval (BySs - 143/172/143 1 R), Caleb Joseph (BySs - 167/211/333 1R 2RBI), Santiago Casilla (BySs - 5K 9.82/2.45 3 SV) and AJ Burnett (BySs - 1W 6K 6.35/1.76). Wait...

None of the guys in this last grouping are on those teams anymore.  Oh...that's because the default for Yahoo is to use regular season head to head record in the event there is a tie in a playoff round.  So...Kyler and Jim tied in the finals because Prince Fielder knocked in 2 runs on the last day of the season, giving Jim a 23-22 victory in RBIs and a 6-6 split in the final score.  Which means that it goes back to the head to head season record between the two teams.  In the most recent match up (week 19), the two teams had a 5-5-2 split, which means that the week 8 meeting, from way back in the week of May 25 - May 31 was essentially the Championship deciding contest, even though we didn't know it at the time.

I don't want to take anything away from Jimmy, because he had a legitimately terrifying team from start to finish this season (and TMGS, Mookie, Kris Bryant, Carlos Correa, Buster Posey, Scherzer, Arrieta, Archer, Flithnandez core makes me... uncomfortable, to put in in family friendly terms).  I think that its awesome that the guy who told me he knew nothing about fantasy baseball and who I had to talk into joining the league with the promise of "If you don't like it, that's cool, you don't have to keep playing" has embraced it and thrived and it has led to a number of cool baseball discussions between the two of us.  But I am sad that the league ended up hinging on a matchup that featured 12 players who weren't on their team's roster at the end of the season.  There aren't any better options provided by Yahoo (the only other one is higher seed advances, and I would rather have it reflect something between the two teams than overall record), so I guess we are stuck with it and have to hope that it never ever ever happens again.

Championship MVP - Max Scherzer - 2 wins 27 Ks 0.53/0.29 2 QS
Mad Max allowed 1 run over 8 with 10Ks and 3 BBs in his penultimate start of the season but saved the best for last, throwing a No-Hitter with 17Ks against the playoff bound Mets on the second to last day of the regular season.  It was Scherzer's second no hitter of the season and the second time he came within 1 runner of a perfect game, this time it was a Yunel Escobar throwing error on a Kevin Plawecki ground ball leading off the top of the 6th inning that kept him from facing the minimum.  The 2 wins and microscopic ERA helped Jim win those two categories, gaining the overall split and the win on the tie break.

As we enter another off-season, remember to start planning for the 2016 draft, which will be held on March 19th at my house.  League champ has to be there, so Jimmy better start planning.  I think that we will be looking for 1-2 people to take spots, so if you know someone who might be interested, let me know.

Return of the Mack

I know that I have been absent.  I know that it has caused you a great deal of pain and suffering.  I know it has caused me a great deal of pain and suffering.  But let's move past it together.  Let's remember the good times, and look forward to when those good times will come again.

Ok, enough of that crap.  There have been several times this season where Kyler and I have had lengthy email exchanges that could have turned into blog entries, but we were selfish and kept it between us, but not today.  Today I am having fun with stats and I felt the need to share:

1-      Did you see the article about the Reds using a rookie starting pitcher in 59 straight games and they plan to finish the season with them, so it will be like 64 or something?  And that when the played the Brewers earlier this month, both teams started rookies in all 3 games and it was the first time both teams used rookies to start every game of a 3 game series in MLB HISTORY?  Awesome.  Its a bold move Cotton, but it could very well pay off in a way that a team actually trying to win games wouldn't.  By seeing all of these young guys against MLB hitters, the Cincy front office has a decent idea whether or not they will be a useful option in the future.  Not a bad use of a lost season and certainly better than something like trotting Matt Garza until September.

2-      The Twins Eddie Rosario is having a pretty amazing season, for several different reasons.  He has pulled of the MLB version of the triple double (although I think I am the only one in the world that calls it this) – double digits in 2b, 3b and HR (it is typically fairly rare, but this year there is a huge spike) with 18, 15 and 12 respectively and he has hit .270 with a .463 slugging, both respectable, especially for a 24 year old getting his first taste of MLB action.  His 114 Ks in 434 ABs is a little concerning, but, again, he is young.  None of these things is the best thing about his season.  That would be his 14 walks.  Yup, he has hit 448 times, and has more 2bs and 3bs than walks.  Swing away Eddie, swing away.

3-      Something called a Paulo Orlando (KC) one ups Eddie.  Paulo (I don’t know why, but I love saying this name, and it always comes out as “POW-low”) has only hit 236 times, but has 5 walks compared to 14 2bs, 6 3bs and 7 HRs.

4-      Almost starting 2b for the AL All-Star team Omar Infante might have them both beat for sheer awesomeness.  Infante has batted 449 times this year, and taken 4 balls in exactly 9 of them.  That isn’t a typo, there isn’t a 1 missing from before the 9.  He actually walked twice in the game on May 1, but turned in zero walk MONTHS in April (64 PAs), June (92 PAs), and September (only 17 PAs), including an amazing 128 PA stretch without a free pass (which ended when the Twins Ervin Santana walked him on 4 pitches leading off an inning…seriously Ervin?  The guy goes more than a ¼ of the season without taking a walk and you cant even give him the courtesy, get me over fastball?  Its not like he’s going to hit it out.  I am fairly certain that Omar would struggle to hit 10 HRs if he faced a season’s worth of get me over fastballs).  Even notorious anti-walker legend Jeff Francoeur never managed to walk this little. 

 In fact, no one has walked this little in this many plate appearances with this little power since SS Alfredo “Sauce” Griffin walked 4 times in 441 PAs back in 1984 (4 BB was the fewest in 440+ PAs since 1909, when Brooklyn Superbas 2b Whitey Alperman walked twice in 468 times to the dish).  This is actually more astonishing to me than anything that Bryce Harper has done this season.

5-      No one in MLB stole more than 11 bases this year without being caught, Denard Span and Matt Duffy (SF version).

6-      Dee Gordon was caught stealing 18 times.  Only 33 other players stole at least 18 bases.

7-       Supposed fast person, Peter Bourjos was caught stealing as many times as definitely fast person Billy Hamilton, 8.  Hamilton led MLB with 57 steals while Bourjos came in slightly behind with 5.

8-      No one walked more than 100 times while striking out less than 100 (only Jose Bautista did it in /2014);106 batters have struck out more than 100 times

9-      Only 2 players who had more than 300 plate appearances failed to hit at least 1 HR, Cincy C/1b Brayan Pena and ATL OF Michael Bourn.  Even 2045 year old Ichiro hit 1 this year (also, prove he hasn’t been around since the time of Jesus.  I’ve seen the last supper painting and I am pretty sure one of those guys is Ichiro).

Something is missing here...

10-  Former 3^rd overall pick, Seattle C Mike Zunino a mind numbing .174 over 386 plate appearances before getting sent down to work on his swing.  In his place, the Mariners played Jesus Sucre, John Hicks, Steve Baron and Wellington Castillo (who they traded to the DBacks for Mark Trumbo and Vidal Nuno).  Sucre hit 124/168/195 in 127 PAs.  Hicks hit 065/094/097 in 33 PAs.  Baron hit a Yanger-esque 000/000/000 in 11 PAs.  Castillo hit 253/315/502 with 17 HRs in 289 PAs in Arizona.
I wanted to see how bad the Mariners catchers hit this year, so I mashed them all together.  What you get is a big steamy pile of 152/204/257 with 12 HRs.
Side note on Sucre…he currently has an OPS+ of 3.  (Crash course refresher on OPS+ -- 100 is a league average player.  110 means the player is 10% better than league average, 90 means a player is 10% worse than league average.  Small sample sizes can produce some pretty wild swings so generally, anything under 100 PAs isn’t very telling of a true ability level.)  Sucre has been 97% worse than league average!!..and it’s over 127 PAs.  A couple of comparison points-  Infante, OPS+ 49.  Michael Bourn of the 0 HRs, OPS+ 64.  Bryce Harper, crusher of souls, destroyer of Jonathon Papelbon, OPS+200 (I was really hoping that he would be at 197, so I could say that he was as much better than league average as Sucre is worse).  It gives me near endless joy that his name literally has suck in it…not Garrett Richards type joy, but still joy nonetheless.

11-   Somehow, Mike Zunino didn’t even have the worst season by a player with over 300 PAs.  That distinction lies with Tampa’s Rene Rivera and his 179/215/277 line in 317 PAs.  Rivera was a solid catcher in 2014 for the Padres (I am pretty sure he was even rostered in fantasy for a while by someone) despite never being particularly good at baseball before that.  He was part of the Rays-Wash-Padres trade that ended with Stephen Souzaphone being mildly interesting in Tampa, Wil Myers playing terrible CF in the Whale’s Vagina and Joe Ross and Trea Turner looking like future All-Stars in the Nation’s capital.  Looking back on that trade, there is a chance Tampa comes out OK if one or two of the minor leaguers they got ends up being useful, but its hard not to say that San Diego might as well have lit itself on fire (which could actually be said about their entire season) and that Washington clearly came out as the winners of the deal.  This would be meaningful if Washington didn’t have an amazing team every year that everyone thinks is finally going to break through only to have them choke it away (sometimes literally) repeatedly. 

12-  Things I hate about WAR-

a.       It doesn’t make any damn sense.

b.      At the top and bottom, there is clear correlation to good players and bad players, but in the middle it is a jumble of make believe.  This is offensive WAR, btw, which is the most easily understood version (dWAR is quite literally made up of unicorn poop).

c.       oWAR tells us that Kyle Schwarber, 1.8 WAR, (I have missed so so so many Kyle Schwarber jokes) and his 247/357/502 line over 219 ABs is less valuable than Zach Cosart, 2.0 WAR, and his 258/310/459 line over 194 ABs.  Cozart has 7 fewer HRs and 21 fewer walks.  They both have 3 SBs and 3 CSs, so there’s no explanation there.  Cosart has 11 points in BA, but trails by 47 points of OBP and 43 points of SLG.  There is not a single world in which I say Zach Cosart has been a better hitter.  Maybe if you include defense, you could say that Cosart plays a tougher position, so those losses in OBP and SLG are acceptable.  I am not sure I would agree, but you could still justify it…but this doesn’t use defense…at all.  If someone has an explanation, please tell me.  And it better be better than “Cosart doesn’t strike out as much” because if that is what it is, then WAR needs to go back in the can.

d.      All that being said, Danny Santana shows up as the least valuable player in the Majors this season, regardless of PAs.  He was 2.3 wins worse than the average minor league call up with the bat, and the dWAR unicorn poop says he was another 1.1 wins worse than the average minor leaguer in the field.  That is terrible, and awesome because I had it out with a bunch of Twins fans in the offseason about Santana.  I was told repeatedly that he was going to make a great SS and that they weren’t going to have to worry about SS for the first time since JJ Hardy.  I didn’t feel that was correct…and, it turns out, I was pretty much right.  And I love being right.

          Anyways…I will return again next week for the dramatic World Series recap, and then again for the Tater Tot Awards for Fantasy Baseball Playing Gentlemen and the Players Whom they Own…But Not Like That, and then again for some proposed changes for the 2016 season…and maybe a little bit in between.

 

Until then, stay funky, stay fresh.

Baseball's Back

With a lot of free time on my hands I have decided to make my glorious return to the blog since my abrupt end during the fantasy football playoffs last December. For my first post of the baseball season I want to point out some things I've noticed from the first two days of the season. So without further ado baseball is back, and so am I…

Only the Marlins!

So, someone forgot to close the $100 million retractable roof on opening day. You would think that people in Miami would realize that it rains every day in Florida from March till June, yet somehow the guy(s) responsible for closing the roof were caught off guard by the rain storm. This has got to be one of the hardest things in the world to screw up. Just think about it, all the maintenance crew had to do was look at a radar screen and say “hey guys looks like it’s going to rain (obviously). We should probably close the roof… you know because we can’t play baseball in the pouring rain.” Instead, they decided it would be a good idea to test the weather and see if it will miss the stadium. Stupidity level = 100. (This happened to the Brewers at Miller Park a few years ago as well…not surprising)

Also from Miami, how bad was Mat Latos the other night!? He allowed 7 runs in just 2/3 of an inning to a Braves lineup that features the likes of Christian Christina Betancourt, Kelly Johnson, and Jace Peterson. You would've had a better chance convincing me those three were on the t.v. show Real Housewives of Atlanta rather than in the Braves lineup. Latos now has a solid 94.50 ERA heading into his next start in case you were wondering.

Most ridiculous performance from Opening Day:

Kyle Fucking Kendrick. I thought the Brewers would actually win their opening day game because they were facing this joke. I was wrong. Kendrick went 7 innings giving up no runs and embarrassing Brewers players, staff, fans, or anyone remotely associated with the team. The fact that Kendrick was an opening day starter was laughable and the fact that the Brewers struggled so bad against him is a terrible realization that the Brewers may be headed for a long and difficult season. Kendrick put so much fear into Ryan Braun that he left the game after only two at bats with “a rib issue” and has yet to return in fear that Kyle the Great will destroy him. I’m imagining Braun sitting in the corner of the clubhouse with tears in his eyes and curled up in a ball, rocking back in forth repeating the words, “I’m an MVP. I’m an MVP”

Favorite teams of the Tot Heads:

This will be really simple. The Brewers can’t score and they can’t get stop the Rockies offense, which lead to them being swept. The Twins can’t even score a run, which is kind of important in baseball. In fact, the Twins have a combined 9 hits in the first two games of the season, while their opponent (who happens to be the Tigers) have scored 15 runs. To make matters even worse for you Twins fans, Ervin Santana gets to stay home for half the year because of his illegal substance suspension. I’m thinking that maybe he realized this team was going to be terrible and decided “Hell I don’t want to be here. Oh I know! I’ll get suspended so I don’t have to play for half the year.” He then ran up and down the streets of Florida at the end of spring training trying to find anybody who can test him for steroids till he finally found someone willing to do it. I would like to think the first test came back negative and he demanded they retake the test as many times as needed in order to get a positive test.

The other team that is a Tot Head favorite is the Cubs. Where do I begin on this one? The cubs looked awful on Sunday night between not scoring, Lester not being able to hold runners to a decent lead, and fans not being able to go to the bathroom. Now they did get a good outing from Jake Arrieta yesterday in a 2-0 win. However, it’s pretty easy to see that until Bryant and Baez come up to help Rizzo, this team is going to be the same ole Cubs. Just to go back to the Lester not throwing over scenario, I don’t understand how a star pitcher can have such a disregard for attempting pick-offs or even keeping the runners close. By the way the broadcasters made it sound, Lester is so bad at it and afraid to do it that he would rather just let every runner get a gargantuan lead and practically walk to the next base rather than throw over. He better fix that real soon or David Ross may end up setting the record for worst caught stealing percentage in a single season in MLB history.

Seattle is my new Colorado:

For the second year I have had the privilege of watching some MLB Extra Innings package baseball with The Commish. If you recall, last year this produced everything that is great about the Colorado Rockies home broadcasts, which included the inspiration of “We Get Tacos” and the Mike Shaw's Subaru Super Slow-Mo Replay. This year my favorite team on Extra Innings is the Seattle Mariners. For starter’s they are somehow sponsored by the state of Alaska (or at least that’s what every replay tells me when the graphic just says sponsored by Alaska). How do you get a random state to sponsor your professional sports team? I’m hoping next year I will find out that the Oakland A’s are sponsored by the state of Wyoming.

The other great thing I noticed about the Mariners’ broadcast was the great promo commercials, especially the one I have posted a link to below. Being able to see the local commercials and team promos is one of the most enjoyable things about Extra Innings and this one takes the cake.

http://www.king5.com/story/sports/mlb/mariners/2015/03/18/intensely-intense-2015-mariners-commercial/24970069/

Week 1 Waivers - From the IL

Greetings Super Friends from the scenic river town of Moline, IL.  I know that the week 1 waiver add update is like 5.6 days late and that no excuse can possible make up for the hours of anticipation and anxiety that all of you have undoubtedly been dealing with.  Unfortunately, the same reason that I am staring down the barrel of the IWireless Center and the John Deere Pavilion is why I am been delayed getting this recap done and posted.  The company I work for got a new project with the Deere peeps (which is for a not yet released product, so I cant really tell you about it at this point, other than to tell you that it exists and its cool as hell, or I would have to end you...and I like most of you enough that I dont want to do that) that I am basically in charge of...so...ipso facto...free time is at a premium for the next few months at least.  I will still try to make sure that this blog gets updated in a timely fashion, but the updates may be a little sparse at times...which sucks because I am pretty sure that you all like reading this as much as I like writing it.

Anyways, before we get to the waiver adds, lets pause for a ceremonial first beer from our league champ, LC Tomsula.

 

Waivers this week are going to take on a little different format.  I am going to group the moves by team instead of individually, since the moves this early in the season are usually connected to one another...and apparently everyone was terribly unhappy with their auctions...sweet 10 lb 9 oz baby Jesus...all laying in your manger with your Baby Einstein Developmental books...how many transactions are there this week?  And none of them were by the guy who wasnt at the draft and was accidentally not given a catcher?

 

Lets call this format preparation H (preparations A through G were good, but we really needed something now) and lets see how it feels on the whole...if it sucks...well, then it sucks and I'll have to try something different next time.  On with the show:
 

Les Moles

SP/RP Josh Collmenter - $4 - Drop OF Coco Crisp

SP/RP Hector Noesi - $4 - Drop 3b Matt Carpenter

We start with LC Tomsula.  Josh Collmenter is the awesomest.  He throws axes.  He grows terrific facial hair.  He wears fantastic hats.  He is also one of the worst MLB opening day starting pitchers in the history of the world not named Kyle Kendrick (seriously...Kyle Kendrick is starting on opening day for an actual major league baseball team and it isnt on a dare nor is the former stripper owner from Major League involved...that we know of).  He does offer the illusive SP/RP designation that some of us (who me?) chase like catnip and have been known to overpay for and he was an above average pitcher last season because he bascially walked about 1 batter per start.  Unfortunately, his cost was the player that LC Tomsula was most excited about during the draft.  Now, I dont know if it was the beer talking, but LC Tomsula chastized the rest of us repeatedly for no one bidding over the top of his like $2 bid for Coco.  If Coco and his Afro arent back on Tom's team before the year is over, I may have to make an executive decision to add him back.  Some things are just meant to be.

As for Noesi, my mother taught me that if I didnt have anything nice to say, that I shouldnt say anything at all.  Noesi was on 3 different teams last year, including getting released by the Texas Rangers. The Rangers, for those of you who cant recall a couple of months ago, had more injuries than just about any team in MLB last year and they didnt think that giving Noesi the ball every 5th day was a better idea than giving it to Joe Saunders, Robbie Ross or something called a Miles Mikolas.  If Noesi is on Tom's team in June, I would be very surprised.  We're done here.
 

Bob's ATers

SP Kyle Hendricks - $10 - No Drop

RP Darren O'Day - $4 - Drop SP Jesse Hahn

 

Kyle Hendricks is a Cub.  That is really the only reason I can possibly come up with that Bob would have bid $10 on him.  Maybe he was trying to channel last season, when he posted a $20 bid on Yordano Ventura right after the draft and that worked out well?  Hendricks had a great run of starts at the end of last season, turning in a 1.08 whip over 80+ innings, but he has never been seen as that strong of a pitcher. His minor league track record looks strong (his statistical profile and "stuff" actually are fairly similar to those of blog favorite Mike Fiers), but his strikeout rate ranked somewhere between poor and homeless Greecian last season.  I am not saying that he can't be a useful pitcher in the ratio categories, but I am doubting that the $10 investment will be worth it.

 

The Hendricks pickup created a logjam of SPs and Bob addressed that by adding O'Day for Jesse Hahn.  I love O'Day.  He has been consistently great over the past several seasons (he has a little gopher problem, but you take the bad with the good).  He will be in a prominent spot in a decent bullpen for a slightly above average team.  He wont blow the league away with holds or saves, but he should ahve great ratios and decent Ks...as long as he doesnt splode his elbow.

UCCMA

RP Joel Peralta - $5 - No Drop

RP Jordan Walden - $3 - No Drop

 

Jim wanted relievers. Jim got relievers. El fin.

 

Javy Bombs

3b/OF Yasmany Tomas - $3 - Drop C Miguel Montero

SP/RP Carlos Martinez - $2 - Drop RP LaTroy Hawkins

RP Jeurys Familia - $1 - Drop SP Zach Wheeler

2b,3b, OF Martin Prado - $1 - No Drop

 

I am not surprised that Attack of the Zach was one of the most active teams in the first waiver period.  Hawkins is the oldest player in the Bigs...and he pretty much sucks it...Wheeler's elbow ligament is now elbow ligaments... and Montero is a second 10 catcher at best.  In their places, Zach adds Martin Prado, who offers the ability to play multiple positions poorly while maintaining a decent batting average, Familia, a borderline RP for fantasy with some upside potential, Martinez, who offers a ton of upside (he has been called baby Pedro, and not just because of the Jheri Curl) and Tomas. 

 

If Martinez can finally harness his potential, he will be a terror, but will still be blocked by a pretty stacked Cardinal rotation.  The real potential season changer, here, is Tomas.  The 24 year old Cuban defector has big time power potential, but didnt put up the same type of video game numbers that fellow Cubans Jose Abreu or Yasiel Puig put up before they came over and immediately found success in the Bigs, so there could be some adjustment period.  Also, the D-Backs are trying to teach Tomas to play 3b...and it isnt going well.  I believe "wildebeest trying to catch eggs in a frying pan" is an apt description.  A move back to the OF (where he belongs) would create a logjam of OFers on the AZ roster and could lead to Tomas beginning the season in the minors due to issue with other players not having options remaining.  Even if that's the case though, Tomas's potential would be well worth a NA spot and a "watch and see" approach.

 

Dust Bunnies

1b Eric Hosmer - $1 - Drop Billy Butler

I am pretty sure that the league is responsible for this transaction.  After Dusty picked up Billy Butler, he got so much shit that he basically had no other option but to dump the Butler stink and pick up anything else.  Congrats Dusty, you get points for dumping Butler.  The problem is that Hosmer might not be a ton better.  If its the Hosmer who came to life at the end of 2013 or during the 2014 playoffs, he is easily a rosterable 1b, if not a starting 1b.  But if he is the Hosmer who played at every other moment over the past 2 years, he is nothing but a better fielding, skinnier Butler who does nice things like buying drinks for fans at clubs and wear Ambiguously Gay duo outfits with Mike MooseTacos.

MTMTAS

SP Drew Hutchison - $1 - Drop SP Tanner Roark

SP Kevin Gausman - $1 - Drop RP Sean Doolittle

 

I want to get excited about Drew Hutchison and Kevin Gausman.  I really do.  They are both 6'3" 190 pound right handers who happen to bat left handed, even though they play in the AL and dont have to bat much, if ever.  They are both 24 year old, hard throwing guys coming off of strong seasons in the AL East (which isnt what it used to be folks).  I just cant bring myself to get excited about either of them.  They will likely both be solid pitchers and have the chance to be much much much more than that over the course of their careers, maybe even this year.  Maybe I'll come around on Gausman.  He is an Oriole...and Adam Jones seems to like him, so he has to be at least somewhat awesome.

Hitless Bastards

SP/RP Marcus aStroman - $1 - No Drop

SS Jed Lawrie - $1 - No Drop

 

Finally the end. 

Dear league-

Thanks for voting for the extra DL spot so that I can park aStroman there for the entire season and not completely destroy my competitiveness and end up having to trade a $20 Anthony Rizzo for Aramis Ramirez and never get a chance to use said Ramirez so that I can keep an injured Matt Harvey on my team.  Long live aStroman.

Thanks.

Commish

 

Stroman will spend the next 8 months parked in the DL spot (when it becomes available) and will be the leader in the club house to take the newly added 11th keeper spot heading into next season.

 

As for Lowrie...well...I hate my SS life.  Having a Jose Reyes is nice, but requires an adequate backup.  I had my eye on Jhonny Peralta as a wire add, but then we gave him to John and left the SS landscape really really ridiculously barren.  I mean, were talking Lawrie, Marcus Semien, Jean Segura, and Didi Gregorius...is death an option?  Can I take the Dusty route and start a blank spot or someone who isnt on an active roster?  Are Shawon Dunston and his cookie duster available? (The answer is yes...its always yes for Dunston.  I actually learned that Shawon Dunston Jr is a minor league OFer in the Cubs system.  He stole 27 bases for Kane County last year.  If he is there again, someone needs to go to a Kane County Cougars game and get his autograph for me so I can pretend that its his dad's).