Week 17 Waivers

So I know that it is now Thursday, and I still havent hit up the waiver recap.  It is silly when real life gets in the way of fantasy.  I will try to put together a longer post later tomorrow, but for now, here is a quick rundown of the waiver transactions for week 17.


First...TRADE!!!  One of the benefits of being late, this trade has now processed.
UCCMA gets SP.RP Tanner Roark
Les Moles get OF YoAnus Cespedes

Fantasy imitating reality?  YoAnus traded for a pitcher (though the real life pitcher in the trade was a slight bit, kinda a ton, better than Roark.  As for our league trade, Uncle Jimmy loses an OF he hasnt been starting and picks up a pitcher that he may or may not start, but gives him some flexibility this season.  Long term, I cannot imagine Roark being one of the 10 most important/cost effective players on Jimmy's team, but there is still a lot of baseball to play (and a long offseason).  Tom gets an OF so he doesnt have to start both Leonys Martin and Chris Coghlan anymore (seriously...they are 2 of the best 3 OFers he has) and hopefully Ben Revere can be sent back to the place where not knocking in runs is beneficial (Canada?).  Losing Roark hurts, but not much, and Tom has a couple of pitchers he can slide into the spot currently occupied by more Tan (Tan-ner...get it...the bad jokes never stop!).  Tom's team has already been one of the better in the league (especially lately), and he jsut got a lot better.  I understand the deal, and both sides get something out of it, but because of what it does for this season, I have to give the carrot to Tom.  Les Moles > UCCMA.

Second...I posted last week about John and Tom being like our very own Ambiguously Gay Duo, but on Monday I got the following email from John and Tom's Supervisor with the picture attached:

Hi Louie,

So John sent me this below (the blog entry about them) – I did find it quite humorous. It then dawned on me that you need to see how this Ambiguously Gay Duo tends to dress alike. I wish I could send you their amazing reactions toward each other when they find this outcome when they arrive. Notice the portly grins on their faces noting that none of this bothers them.

Hope you find this equally enjoyable.

 

So, yes, John and Tom's boss knows about our blog and thinks its funny.

Third, the rest of the waivers:

1b/OF Lucas Duda - $4 - KIODL - Drop C Yadier Molina
And let the games begin.  We know that Yadie is out for the rest of the fantasy regular season, but we also know that he is one of the best offensive catchers in the game when he is healthy.  Will someone pick him up for cheap just to stash him?  I am guessing so.  The only question in my mind is how long do we collectively push it off and who steps up and claims him first.  Duda has quietly had a solid year, with 19 HRs as the Mets primary 1B.  Duda has improved steadily through his career and gives John a solid backup to PooHoles and his trio of OFers.

OF Jorge Soler - $3 - Bob's ATers - Drop 1b,3b Casey McGehee

It was fun while it lasted, Casey.  But if Bob cant make you better, no one can.  Soler is a bit lesser known than many of his fellow Cubs prospects, but he was the Cubbies big Cuban signing back in 2012, around the same time that the A's were signing YoAnus and the Dodgers were signing Yasiel Puig.  They have taken slightly different paths to the Majors.  Still, Soler turned 22 in February and has been sidetracked by injuries.  This year, he started in Rookie Ball, then jumped straight to AA where he proved to be a slight bit better than the competition.  He hit 415/494/862 with 9 2bs, 1 3b, and 6 HRs in 22 games (79 plate appearances) before the Cubs decided that AAA might be better.  So far in 8 games there, he has hit 316/435/737.  All signs point to him being up in September when the rosters expand as he is already on the 40-Man roster...and he may very well never go back down (hopes this Cubs fan).  Go and watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuMLtkLZ4Mo . 

 

SP Andrew Heaney - $3 - Bob's ATers - Drop SP, RP Wade Davis

By all accounts, Heaney is one of the top left handed pitching prospects in the game.  He didnt show it during his first trip to the Show (as my team's ratios know all to well) posting a 6.53 ERA and 1.45 WHIP with only 13 strikeouts in 20 innings.  Not the dream introduction he was hoping for when some saying his impact would be like a left handed Jose Fernandez.  Heaney is in AAA right now and will likely be back with the big club by the end of the year, but this is clearly a future play for Bob.  Davis...well, I cant really figure out why Davis was the one on the chopping block.  In the past 30 days, he has thrown only 10 innings, but his ERA is 0.00, his WHIP is 0.70 and he has 13 Ks.  I guess you could say that he isnt throwing enough, but he has actually thrown a bit more than some of the other RPs on Bob's team.  I guess Davis is learning a hard lesson....Bob's a dick.

 

C Yan Gomes - $1 - Bob's ATers - Drop C Wilin Rosario

Rosario was a buzzy preseason catcher pick...hitting 49 HRs over the past 2 seasons (845 at bats) will do that for you.  But when you only walk 40 times in the same period, it is difficult to sustain that power, as pitchers will learn very quickly that they dont need to throw strikes to get you out.  This year, it has caught up to Rosario a bit, as he is hitting only 240/276/400, though he does have as many walks this year (15) as he did last year, only in 180 or so fewer at bats.  Gomes, whom I desperately want to call Yoda for some unknown reason, had a breakout 2013 and has been largely the same hitter this year, only with more at bats.  He has decent pop (18 2bs, 14 HRs) and solid contact skills (.281 average) albeit with less than stellar on base skills (.323 OBP).  I am a bit surprised that Bob is going to roll with Gomes as his primary catcher, though I am not surprised he is going with Gomes over Rosario.

 

2b/SS/OF Ben Zobrist - $1 - MBHB - Drop 2b Brian Dozier
Last Sunday was a sad day for me.  It was the day I finally realized that I needed to rid my life of Brian Dozier.  We had experienced a good run together, but the last 30 days had gotten a bit ugly, with Dozier hitting a sucktacular 230/262/420 with 12R, 10RBI and a pair of SBs.  While the average wasnt far off his season line, he stopped drawing walks or stealing bases, the two things which had bouyed his value for much of the season.  Meanwhile, Zobrist hit 337/427/500 over the past month (an entire month of 300/400/500) and generally turned back into the player everyone thought they were getting at the beginning of the season.  Zobrist has been a little light on the RBI (31) and the SB (7), but MBHB needs AVG,OBP and SLG badly, and he can help there greatly.  It's all about the Benji's Baby...unless you mean Molina or Gil...or former Giant Mike Benjamin...then its not about them, not even remotely about them.



Waivers delayed

No waivers today.  I am taking care of my girls and between the two of them there's no time to fit it in.  It'll be back tomorrow.  Sorry for ruining your Tuesday, John.

Redemption is spelled R-O-N

There is a point in the greatest movie ever made, where the male protagonist has gone through a series of life altering, world-view shattering and in everyway completely depressing moments that force him to come out on the other side a completely changed person who, as it turns out, is better than he ever was before.  In the movie, his pig-headedness (either by nature or by desire) about gender equality amidst a group of Panther spraying, lamp loving, trident throwing bro-ons (its bros mixed with morons...use it, love it) eventually gives way to the realization that not only can a woman do his job as well as he can, but that she can do it better than he can (obviously with a trip to Pleasure Town, a little jazz flute and a miniature Buddha covered in hair aiding him on his journey).  Once he accepts that she is better than he is, he is able to regain his lost composure, deliver on the big news story and move into the next phase of their lives together as partners.  Obviously Anchorman lets this fairly enlightened piece of the story run as a subtext to the larger goal of being stupid and sophomoric in the most awesome of ways, otherwise there wouldnt be a character who identifies himself by saying "Years later, a doctor will tell me that I have an I.Q. of 48 and am what some people call mentally retarded" and the movie would never have been nearly as popular (or fantastic) as it has become.
You might think that this seems like a strange corollary to draw to something involving fantasy baseball, but youd be wrong and I would probably make fun of you for it by scoffing in your general direction.  Baseball players are, almost to a fault, overly confident about their own abilities.  If they werent, they wouldnt really last as baseball players very long.  How long do you think Yasiel Puig would last if he were constantly worried that a ball thrown at 95 MPH was going to blow past him?  Instead, he thinks that every ball thrown over the plate at 95 MPH is going to end up in the overly large baseball glove of some guy in the left field bleachers and then in that fan's den where the fan will tell stories about how he caught a Yasiel Puig missle that almost took his hand off when he tried to catch it.  It is just how baseball players are wired.  So when teams do the new en vogue thing and shift all of their infielders to one side of the diamond, baseball players tend to think "Fuck them, I am going to hit it through there anyways."  I know...I used to be one.  I was such a pull hitter that, even in high school, teams would occasionally put the second baseman almost behind second base.  Had I been smart, I would have learned to hit the ball hard the other way...but I wasnt.  I pulled everything out of spite, like I was dragging a dollar down the street in front of a homeless guy and no doubt was worse off because of it.  Even now playing slow pitch softball, a team could probably put 7 fielders on the left field side of second base and I would flip them off and still try to hit it onto some sliver of green space in left field because...dammit how dare they and I am better than those stinkin fuckers.
Enter Carlos Santana (solo edition).  Santana has been largely derided this season for his abysmal plate performance.  Entering last week, he was hitting 204/348/380 with 40 runs and 40 RBIs.  Much of it can be attributed to defense's employing an aggressive shift philosophy against him.  An excellent artice over at the Wahoosonfirst Blog (thanks for the link Uncle Jimmy) notes that Santana has an increased walk rate, a decreased rate of swinging at pitches outside the zone, a slight uptick in isolated power (SLG-AVG), but similar ground ball/fly ball stats and a much lower batting average on balls in play.  Basically, Santana is trying to hit the ball through the teeth of the shift this season.  There are a couple of ways that a Major Leaguer can deal with it.  One is to learn to hit the ball the other way.  For someone who has an amazing ability to hit the ball the other way ingrained into them, like say Miguel Cabrera, this is a quick fix.  But players like Miggy arent seeing shifts.  For someone like Adam Dunn, who has been pulling the ball the majority of time since they were a 7 year old playing tee ball, this is not always an easy thing to pick up. 
The second option is to go all Jose Bautista and start hitting moon shots to the pull side and taking every pitch that makes it impossible to do so.  Walks go up, strikeouts go up, HRs go up...but the shift has a much smaller effect.  Carlos Santana choose the second option this week to the tune of 15 for 27 with 6 walks, 6 HRs (5 in the last 3 games), 8 runs scored, 10 RBIs, a 556/636/1333 slash line and a stolen base thrown in for fun.  In all, he raised his season line to 232/371/456.  It was the single greatest week by a player so far (Jose Altuve's 10 steals in week 13 are close)...and he was found on the waiver wire for $3.  I am not sure that option 2 is always the best option, and Santana will have to make a change to his approach eventually because he is not a Jose Bautista caliber player, but for at least one week, he was the player that everyone expected to get on draft day...the switch hitting on base machine who hits bombs and carries catcher eligibility without ever actually catching.   I am convinced that none of us know what we are doing...or that it is impossible to know what is going on in fantasy baseball.

week 16 recaps

I'm not gonna beat around the bush...on to the recaps:

MBHB (105-78-9) 9
BySs (92-86-14) 2
Tie 1 (W; 3)

I can thank my lucky stars for 3 things in this matchup. 1) Carlos Santana.  2) Justin Morneau going on the DL on Monday, just before games started, and leaving Kyler 1 starter short.  MBHB won runs by 1, and RBI by 3...totals that would have almost assuredly been reached had there been a 1b who was actually playing in Kyler's lineup. 3) Yasiel Puig missed all but the last 3 games of the week...a full week from him and it probably doesnt matter than Morneau was out.  Outside of Santana and the short week Puig, the only hitter in the matchup that did well was Melky Cabrera and his 370/433/593 5R 5RBI contribution.  Most hitters more closely resembled Brian Dozier's 143/143/321 or Aramis Ramirez's 083/120/208 lines....basically, there werent a ton of pretty numbers to be seen in this box score.  On the pitching side, MBHB won 4 of the categories behind 10K, sub 1.00 WHIP efforts from Felix Hernandez and Cole Hamels as well as 7 K and 0.00 ERA/0.00 WHIP 4 SV/H from Zach Britton.  BySs got a spectacular start from Alex Cobb (1W 10K 0.00ERA/0.71WHIP) and their bullpen was solid, they just could not keep up with the 12 SV/H put up by MBHB.

LesMoles (87-99-6) 9
Huckleberries (77-104-11) 3

And, just like that, Tom's crew rolls into the last playoff spot behind a strong effort from his hitters, who won all 6 categories this week despite an subpar effort from Tom's Mancrush, Andrew McCutchen (182/308/227).  Les Moles had 4 hitters post OBP's north of .400, including a pair of 300/400/500 guys in Adrian Gonzalez (435/500/739 4R 7RBI) and Ian Desmond (360/407/520 4R 2RBI -- though much of that was from his 5 for 5 game last Monday).  Huckleberries, on the other hand, has a group of solid, but unremarkable, hitters outside of Hanley Ramirez's 462/462/538 line in 3 games of action.  Other than HanRam, only Kurt Suzuki had a BA above .300 or an OBP above .400.  On the pitching side, Kevin's team was able to win ERA, WHIP and SV/H, in large part due to solid outings from Kyle Lohse (1W 1.35ERA/0.90 WHIP) and Gio Gonzalez (8K 1.29ERA/0.86WHIP) and spectacular outings from Yovanni Gallardo (8K 0.00ERA/0.52WHIP) and Steve Cishek (8K 1.80ERA/0.40WHIP 5 SV/H).  Les Moles got solid output from Zach Greinke (1W 10K 0.00ERA/0.71WHIP) and his other starters, but a Tuesday hiccup from Brad Ziegler (13.50ERA/3.75WHIP) likely turned the ERA and WHIP categories into wins for Kevin.


MTMTAS (80-98-14) 7
ZAttack (97-85-10) 5

Here is how this week's renewal of the brother battle went down.
Z: Hey Tyler, whats up man?
T: Nothing Zach, cept I'm fixin to whoop your ass.
Z: That's uncalled for.  Hows this, since I continue to start Chris Owings even though he has been out of the lineup since June 27th, how about you leave Allen Craig and his suck in your lineup at 1b?
T: Sweet! It'll be like a handicap match in wrestling.
Z:  Yeah...since I am pretty sure that Allen Craig is actually handicap in some way this year anyways, lets do it!
T: Wait...wont Allen Craig's outs hurt me more than Owings dead spot hurts you?  Are you trying to trick me again like that time you told me there were Bear tickets in the bathroom and all I found was a really stinky poop in the toilet?  I spent 10 minutes looking for those tickets and all you did was laugh.
Z: What?!?!  No way man, this is totally good for both of us. I'm not trying to trick you at all.
T: I smell a trick...I'm telling mom.
Z: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
--scene--

As for the matchup, there are only 3 things that need mentioning...1) David Ortiz hit 5 HRs and had 12 RBIs (he only had 8 hits total) for a 286/310/893 6R 12 RBI line that is one of the strangest BA/OBP/SLG combinations I have ever seen.  2) The Clayton Kershaw is Sandy Koufax train rolled on as Candy Kerfax threw another CG shutout with only 7 Ks.  He faced 3 batters over the minimum and now has his season line at 1.76ERA/0.81WHIP with 141K in 112.1 innings.  He is clearly playing a different game than everyone else in the Majors.  3) Both of these players were on the losing team, which shows that it isnt always about having the best player (it usually is).

Oh yeah, one more thing, Allen Craig entered the Yanger Zone with a 000/222/000 line...and all those outs did hurt more than Owings dead spot and Tyler should have told mom that Zach was trying to cheat him.


Dust Bunnies (97-88-7) 7
KIODL (84-101-7) 5

Its for their own good John...

Dusty caught a break with AJ Pierzynski signing with the Cardinals mid week and then coming out of the gate hitting.  But really, he didnt need it as John's squad kept their hitting ability on the DL this week, combining for an impossibly bad 182/267/242 as a team.  Holy schnikes.  I cant even make fun of that...its too pathetic.  The effort was summed up best by Coco Crisp and his 063/200/063 line.  On the pitching side, John survived a return to reality for Mark Buherle (3ip 2K 18.00 ERA/3.33 WHIP) to win 4 pitching categories thanks to a pair of solid starts from Hyun Jin Ryu (2W 12K 3.46 ERA/1.00 WHIP 2 QS) and a dominate effort from Predator Cueto (1W 9K 0.00 ERA/1.00 WHIP 1 QS).   Dusty got a rogue save from Tiny Timmy Lincecum in an extra inning affair, but was torpedoed by the pair of Colorado Rockie relievers that he is currently starting (WTF?!? how did I miss this before?) as Rex Brothers (11.57 ERA/2.14 WHIP) and LaTroy Hawkins (13.50 ERA/3.00 WHIP) destroyed any chance the Bunnies had to win the pitching ratios stats...only they didnt because somehow John's staff was worse (thanks Shae Simmons and your 18.00 ERA/6.00 WHIP and Joakim Soria and your 3.00 WHIP and Josh Beckett and your 9.82 ERA...sorry John...it might be time to take this rag tag bunch out to pasture).

Week 16 MSSSMRMoW - Lots of Crooked Numbers



Uncle Jimmy knocks Bob down a peg or two in the
Mike Shaw Subaru Super Mo Replay Matchup of the Week 16.

Not only am I chasing Bob in the standings for the #1 overall seed (and the playoff bye that comes with it), but it is always fun to see Goliah slain.  And, as I laid out last week in Goulet pt 3, Bob's team is most definitely Goliah thus far.  So when Uncle Jimmy's 7th place team puts a lopsided score up against him (even if the matchup was about as even as it gets), you can damn well better believe that it is going to be the Mike Shaw Subaru Super Mo Replay Matchup of the Week.

Team	R	RBI	SB	AVG	OBP	SLG	W	K	ERA	WHIP	QS	SV+H	Score
UCCMA	29	22	3	0.263	0.329	0.424	5	64	2.54	1.26	5	8	7
Bob's Aters	24	22	7	0.251	0.309	0.412	5	68	2.63	1.23	4	6	3

This week, were going to break it down category by category to find out what really happened in the matchup.
Runs
Uncle Jimmy locked this one down thanks to John's favorite player, Carlos Gomez and his 7 runs scored hitting in a surprising decent Brew Crew lineup (despite the awfulness of Aramis Ramirez).  I think that Gomez was driven in almost every time by Jonathon Lucroy (and I am only partially kidding).  For Bob, Casey McGehee (former Brewer) put up a bagel in the runs scored column.

RBI
Todd Frazier managed to get 21 at bats this week, and failed to drive in a single run and Erick Aybar managed to knock in only 1.  Hello tie.  For Bob, Jose Abreu topped the matchup with 5 RBI because Jose Abreu was grown in a lab with the express purpose of hitting baseballs and breaking Rocky Balboa...wait...maybe it was just hitting baseballs.

SB
Bob's team won steals because Bob's team wins steals.  Billy Hamilton (3) + Dee Gordon (2) = SB wins.

AVG
Jimmy had only 2 players hit over .300; Matt Carpenter at .429 and Carlos Gomez at .321.  The aforementioned FrazierFlav hit only .143.  The rest of the team hit between .214 and .269...it wasnt pretty.  But, Bob had only 1 player (Jose Abreu at .320) hit over .300...and it was less pretty with the rest of his team.

OBP
Anthony Rendon's .379 led Bob, but sub .300 OBPs from Corey Dickerson, Billy Hamilton and Casey McGehee off set Rendon.  UCCMA got a big boost from Carpenter's .478 and Buster Posey's .387 in offsetting Frazier (.217), Aybar (.273) and Michael Brantley (.233)

SLG
Once again it was Carpenter (.762) who likely provided the margin of difference as Posey (.577) and Gomez (.536) were helpful but not great.  Both Abreu (.600) and Dickerson (.652) were solid for
Bob, but McGehee's .148 and Rendon's .320 weighed it down just enough to give the category to Jim.

W
Both teams picked up rogue wins from bullpen guys (Joe Smith for Jim, Wade Davis for Bob) and both teams got a pair of wins from reliable starters (Chris Sale for Bob, Doug Fister for Jim).  That's probably why they tied.

K


I dont think I could hit with those eyes staring at me.

Bob can thank Sale and his 20 strikeouts for providing the margin of victory and overcoming dougle digit K performances by Max Scherzer (11) and Tyson Ross (11).  Bob, the proper thank you is a gift basket from Derek Jeter.  You can send it to Chris Sale @ US Cellular Field.

ERA
The good...7 of Jimmy's 10 pitchers had ERAs under 1.50 (only 4 of Bob's did).  The bad...three of Bob's pitchers had ERAs over 5.00 (only one of Jimmy's - Cliff Lee- did).  Jimmy's team got a bit lucky it appears from the stats, as the WHIPs associated with those ERAs dont exactly reflect such low ERAs...the WHIPs associated with Bob's ERAs do accurately reflect their performance.

That is Marcus AStroman's Dad.  Good Genetics anyone?

WHIP
This was very tight overall (1.26 to 1.23) and what it ultimately came down to was Bob having 6 pitchers with WHIPs 1.00 or under, led my Marcus AStroman's 0.43 in 7 frames, while Jimmy only had 4 such pitchers, led by Huston Street's 0.67 in 3 innings and Joe Smith's 0.00 in 3 innings.

QS
Quantity rules the day here as Jimmy gets quality starts from 5 different players (only Cliff Lee did not get a QS in his start).  Bob got a pair of quality starts from Sale, but Hisashi Iwakuma, Jordan Zimmerman and Alex Wood all failed to get the QS in their games. 

SV+H
What a difference it makes for Huston Street to be on a good team for a change.  Street collected 3 saves for the Angels after coming over from San Diego.  Setup man Joe Smith (former closer) collected a win and a hold.  Uncle Jimmy is calling this combo Smith Street (original, I know).  I told him that it sounded like a bad clothing line sold at KMart.  Dellin Betances continued his assault on AL bats, picking up 5 Ks and 2 holds.  Bob got a pair of saves from Greg Holland and another pair from David Robertson, though Robertson gave up a run in a tie game yesterday to allow the Blue Jays to walk away with the win.

When it comes down to it, all of these categories were up for grabs coming into the final day of the matchup other than stolen bases.  For the first time this season, the bounces seemed to go against Bob.  Next thing we know, Jose Abreu will stop hitting, Billy Hamilton will turn back into a pumpkin and Jordaon Zimmerman will go back to the DL (just dont touch Adam Wainwright).



Week 16 ass hDLes

There were a injuries to 4 players in our starting lineups this week, each with its own degree of impact upon that player's team.  Wait...what's that?!?  Nooo...gaaaaawd nooo...thats The Goulet's Music!!!!

IT'S A SURPRISE GOULET!!  I went back through the archives and found that we havent had a power rankings since June 12th...and really, we shouldnt go more than 4 or 5 weeks without one.  I played around with a logo for it since...really something as spectacular as The Goulet should have its own logo.  Let me know what you think in the comments section...ideas for improvement are always welcome.  If you think it sucks, you can tell me that, but dont hold it against me if I tell you that you suck.

Same format as with the previous 2 Goulets, though with measureably less Jedd Jerko, fewer senile billionaire rants, and 38% more mustache.  On with the GOULET!

#855489966 - Bob (.1 pts; LR - NR) - Bob officially becomes the lowest entity ever ranked in the Goulet.  This is not because he is a dick (even though he is), as I have come to accept that Bob is just going to always do those little things that dicks do, like bid $1 more for a player than you do or pick up a player that you dropped because he was hitting under .100, put him in the lineup and then see him put up a 300/400/500 slash line for 5 straight weeks.  No, this is because Bob refuses to fill out those damn 7 questions that I have now sent him twice and that he assures me are "almost done."  I call shenanigans! Its one thing to beat my team on the completely imaginary field, Bob, but when you start messing with my emotions, you're going to get not-so-publically called out on a blog that approximately 8 people read.  TAKE THAT BOB...WHO"S THE DICK NOW?????

#133 Huckleberries (49 pts; LR - #153) - The Huckleberries continue to confound me.  Kevin's squad as actually overtaken Dusty's team in the batting avg category and is now leading the league in BA and is still second in OBP and SLG.  In fact, the Val Kilmers are an astounding 14-1 in the batting average category this season, the best record of any of the teams in any one category (this is my favorite learned stat from this week).  The problem is that all of these hits are still not translating to RBI and that all of the baserunners are still not translating to runs scored, at least on the season long totals.  The team has crawled out of the basement in both R and RBI (to 9th in each) but I think that the deficit that Jerad:The Galleria of Holes in the Lineup (I GOT ONE MORE!!!) left in the counting stats has been tough for Kevin to overcome when looking at the stats holistically.  The hitting is heading in the right direction.  The pitching though, does not appear to be.  The team is last in W, ERA and WHIP and second to last in K and QS.  Kevin has done a great job getting this team back into contention for a playoff spot, but I would be surprised if he makes the postseason without addressing the starting pitching.

#105 MTMTAS (52 pts; LR - #11) - Oh Tyler.  Remember back when your team whooped my teams collective butts and I had to eat a whole shit ton of humble pie for making fun of your team?  Seems like a long time ago, eh?  I seem to have an affect on teams that, when I make fun of them, they start playing well.  I am pretty sure it is because my insults cut straight to the core of the players very beings.  So...I promise, I am just trying to help you out here...because your hitters could definitely use the help.  Currently, Tyler's team is hitting 256/325/391, which is roughly the exact batting line being put up by the Cleveland Indians this season and only slightly off the league average line of 252/316/390.  In fantasy, we generally are well above the average because we are supposed to be using the best players in the league, not the Yangervis Solartes of the world (sorry Jimmy).  I am guessing that Tyler is only paying passing attention to his team.  How else would you explain the decision to continue playing Allen Craig at 1b (other than that Kyler has all the 1b and Tyler doesnt want to trade with him), Andrelton Simmons over Starlin Castro at SS, or a bunch of mediocre guys over Mat Latos?  In fact, I am just going to move on.

#92 Injuries (53.29 pts; LR - NR) - The NR is only slightly accurate, as the Platonic UCL made the previous Goulet installment.  This time, I am talking about 2 types on injuries, both suffered by ass hDLes this week.  1) The Sunday injury which isnt disclosed until Monday, just before the games start.  Is there anything more maddening than checking the games on Monday only to find out a guy who you just decided to start is going to miss the entire week and not accumulate any points?  Hey Justin Morneau, didnt see you standing there.  I should have because you arent playing at all this week and if Kyler loses R or RBI by less than 5 (he will probably win them anyways, rendering this moot), then hes gonna be coming for you like a wildebeast.  2) The injury to the superduper star who has been destroying the league and caused a certain commish to spend at least 1 hour on the interwebs looking to see if he could find a place to buy a TuloGit2Quit tshirt. This is just depressing to all involved.  Tulo is still having a special year, but he likely wont be back when eligible to come off the DL and who knows how he will play when he does, and if the injury lingers, a shutdown could be on the horizon.  Good thing Dusty doesnt really pay attention (its not a good thing) because I definitely offered him Reyes, Verlander and Cole Hamels for Tulo and he never bothered to reply.  If he took that, my season would be pretty much in the shitter.

#15 Zattack (55 pts; LR - #15) - The previous two teams are both at the bottom of their respective divisions, showing that their record has been pretty consistent with their performance...but Zach has the Attack in first place in Harmony.  Much of the discrepency has to do with the performance in Wins and ERA, where the team is in the bottom 3 yet has posted above .500 records.  The team is legitimately great with SLG% (3rd in the league, 11-4 so far this year), thanks in large part to Nelson Cruz and the surging Ryan Braun.  The continued success of this team is going to be one of the interesting plot lines to follow during the last 7 weeks of the regular season.

#14 The artists formerly known as MWP Masters (61.5 pts; LR- #7) - The injury free fall continued this week with starting OF Ryan Zimmerman hitting the DL after Tuesday's game.  The injury to Zimmerman will press Pedro Alvarez back into the lineup and leaves John with Zimmerman, Yadier Molina, Kamakaze Tanaka and Jose Fernandez on the DL and leaves only 1 bench spot available for a person that is currently available to play on a MLB team.  KIODL is currently last in the league in runs scored, 3rd to last in RBI and second to last in slugging (second worst hitting team overall).  With all the injuries and the waiver wire pretty barren, a series of trades might be the only way that John is able to ensure that he wins this battle in the never ending war with Tom.

#10 11 Dust Bunnies (64 pts; LR - #10) - It may look like the Dust Bunnies havent fallen in the rankings, but they have.  In fact...I am going to go back and change it from 10 to 11 and here is why.  Dusty currently is starting AJ Pierzynski at catcher (he was DFA'ed like 5 or 6 weeks ago), no one in his 3rd OF spot, Luis Avilan (sent to minors) and, now, an injured Tulo.  Apparently my wife texted her sister and told her that if Dusty doesnt get his shit together that I am going to kick him out of the league.  Her response was that "Dusty doesnt want to mess his team up by changing anything."  WTF on so many levels.  How does one mess up his team by doing things like fielding an entire starting lineup of actual major league baseball players.  Right now, if we could some how figure out a way to start Willie Mays Hayes or Jake Taylor or even Clu Haywood, they would have as much impact on the matchup as the guys he is currently starting...and they are ficticious.  Fuck man, this pisses me off so much...Dusty is officially on the clock, I dont even care how pissed off my sister in law is going to be.

#10 The little video highlights thing they just added to the my team page in Yahoo! (64.22 pts; LR - #NR) - Uncle Jimmy pointed this out to me earlier today...and really, its a pretty cool little addition.  It looks as though it provides some kind of video highlight for each and every player.  I watched a couple of them and its pretty cool.  I mean, I am not going to watch them regularly at all, but if I want to check out a couple of highlights from games and players I dont get to see much (now that my Direct TV free trial is over :( ), its nice to have.  It does make me wonder about some players though.  It is easy to have highlights for players like George Springer or Giancarlo Stanton because they do impressive things multiple times a week..but what does Yanger's highlight video look like?  Does it show a never ending loop of strikeouts and weak groundballs to the SS?  I am not going to look because I dont want to ruin the image in my head.  If someone does check, please just lie to me and tell me that its Ks and groundout.

#9 UCCMA - (64.5 pts; LR - #8) - This continues to be one of the most balanced teams in the league (I believe the term I used last time was "almost perfectly mediocre") as Uncle Jimmy's team is no higher than 3rd best in any category and no worse than 3rd worst in any category.  The balance has helped him stay pretty even over the course of the season and gives him a chance to win each category in every week.  If he makes the playoffs , it will be interesting to see how he matches up against a team that is more specialized for certain categories.

#8- Backyard SuperStars (73.5 pts; LR - #6) - Kyler's team currently sits in 4th place in the league rankings (and there are 3 teams ahead of them here) and are solidly in the playoffs if they manage to not screw up any one week completely.  They have managed to get to this point mainly on the strength of their pitching, particularly SV+H, where they are leading the league and have gone 11-2-2 so far this season.  Kimbrell, Uehara, Soriano and Rodney all score highly enough that Kyler has been able to use a swingman who shant be named as a SP in RP clothing to help out in wins, strikeouts and quality starts, where he is below average in each.  Hitting-wise, Kyler has maintained a solid group of slash stats, but has yet to see the a bump in the counting stats and is only 2 games above .500 in the hitting categories as a whole.

#6 - MLB Trade Deadline (74 pts; LR- #NR) - The MLB trade deadline is my favorite of the major American sports trade deadlines because there is so little movement in football, the hockey players traded are rarely big names and basketball sucks.  The MLB trade deadline produces some of the most fun headlines and storylines to follow along with.  MLB Trade Rumors (which is awesome by the way) currently has posts about the Mets trading Fatolo Colon and eating some of his contract (which is funny because its about a guy named Fatolo and eating), the Mets being interested in trading for Troy Tulowitzki (because I am sure there is some team in MLB who wouldnt be at least interested should the Rockies decide to trade the best SS in the league), and about Ruben Amaro refruting an earlier report that the Phillies had talked about DFA'ing Ryan Howard.  There are a bunch of things about actual trades that might happen (Jake Peavy to STL for a couple minor leaguers, for instance) and the stuff usually hits MLBTR before it hits a big media outlet like ESPN.  Jimmy, dont ask, I dont know if things get on Twatter before MLBTR.  Anyways...the deadline is next Thursday and in the coming days teams will be deciding if they are trying to be buyers or sellers.  The Cubs will be trying to sell, though I am not sure they have much left that people actually want.

#5 - MBHB (75 pts; LR- #5) - The Bastards are yet another strange case.  Despite being in the bottom 2 in average and in the lower half of the standings in OBP and SLG, Mark Baker's Bunch is second in the league in runs scored, 3rd in RBIs and 4th in stolen bases and is 12 games over .500 on the hitting side.  On the pitching side, SV+H continues to be a sore point but MBHB is in the top 2 in Wins, Ks and QS and is close enough to the middle in ERA and WHIP that they are 8 games over .500 in the pitching categories thanks in large part to the unexpected success of Garrett Richards and his 11 wins, 139 Ks in 137 innings and 16 quality starts...and his RP/SP designation that allows him to be a 6th starting pitcher.

#3 - Les Moles (76.5 pts; LR - #3) - Your eyes are not deceiving you.  Les Moles, with the 8th best record (78-96-6, .450 winning %) is the second best team if you look at the stats in isolation.  Sorry Tom...we obviously dont play in isolation.  Strange things keep happening during matchups involving this team.  Les Moles currently are tied for the second most SBs on the season, yet are 7-8-0 in taht category on the year.  They have the most wins total, but are 6-6-3 there.  They have the 3rd best ERA but are an astonishingly terrible 6-9-0 on the season.  The only way I can explain it is that, when they are good, they are really good and are winning by a bunch while when they are losing categories, they are narrowly losing.  This is the team that no one should want in the playoffs because once they start, anything can happen and the stats say that this team is massively underperforming.

#2 - Alienating not only your fanbase but an entire race of people (80 pts; LR- #NR) - This one is a couple of weeks old, but I cant pass up the opportunity to write way too many words about it.  So...once upon a time at the beginning of a magical month called "July", it was raining during a White Sox-Angels game on the South Side of Chicago.  The White Sox pulled an actually classy move (for the first time since 1984 approximately) and gave out ponchos to every fan who wanted one to keep the rain off.  The good news was that they were like giant baggies and they did a great job of keeping people from getting soaked in the stands.  The bad news was that the ponchos were white...and had pointy hoods...and when you looked at them from afar, they did a really good job approximating a robe that would be worn by the Ku Klux Klan.  Did I mention that this was on the SOUTH SIDE OF CHICAGO?  For those of you unfamiliar with the general geography and population distribution of the city of Chicago and/or the location of US Cellular Field, here's a brief run down.  The South Side is primarily populated with minorities, many of those minorities are African American, and many of those minorities are extremely loyal White Sox fans. 

The Cell, is in a lower income neighborhood that is not far away from some federal housing projects (The Projects, for those of you who have seen bad gang movies).  So not only would handing out ponchos that made ithe game look like a pretty major Klan Rally piss off the majority of your fan base, but, if it didnt stop raining and people didnt notice what they were wearing resembled the uniform of the most biggoted organization since the Nazis, there would be a large number of people walking through a primarily minority populated area wearing what looks like the epitome of hatemongering. 

In this case, there would have been no safety in numbers.  Seriously, if you took the Sox logos off of those things, what do you see?  Check out the guy at the bottom of this picture to the right where the logos are blocked out by the dugout he is sitting behind.  Leave it to the White Sox to inadvertantly escalate the organization from one that has fans who jump on the field and beat up other teams coaches to one that accidently promotes racism and may or may not be trying to maim its own fans.

#1 - Bob's ATers (89 pts; LR - #2) - We open with Bob and we close with Bob.  Bob's team is the juggernaut in the room.  On offense, he is 4th or better in every category except OBP and his pitching is dominating ERA (his team ERA is 2.89, the next closest is 3.24) and WHIP (his 1.08, next 1.16), is second in SV/H (5 behind Kyler, 8 ahead of Kevin) and 3rd in Ks (75 behind 1st place MBHB, 56 ahead of 4th place John).  It is a bit crazy, but 2nd in the Goulet, Tom is closer to 6th place Dusty than he his to Bob...that is how dominant Bob's collection of players has been.  Hell...Casey McGehee has even proven to be semi useful.  Once Edwin Encarnacion comes off the DL, this team is not going to have any holes.  Toters, we are still chasing Bob...we cant let him win...we cant let him taint the Holy Crispy Crowns with his dickishness.

Thursday gets the Liam Neeson treatment

So, I finally got tired of waiting for Bob's broke ass to finish answering the questions I sent to him for a second time 3 weeks ago (the first time was basically during the Byzantine Empire), so yesterday afternoon I redirected and shot some questions over to bald headed half of the Fastenal Ambiguously Gay Duo (not sure who is Ace and who is Gary...my guess is John is Gary, Tom is Ace) and Tom turned them around super quickly.  So a BIG thanks to Tom, we will get to his answers in a bit.  First, there have been some things going on in MLB that are worth a mention (and some light ribbing).  I'll use the bullet point method because it suits me and I dont need another reason.

 

There is so much going on here.  The hat...the eyebrows...the
beard that makes it look like hair completely encircles his face.

- Not only was Yanger recalled from the minors, but a major league team actually thought enough to trade FOR him.  Granted, it was the Padres and a smallish monkey would be an upgrade over everyone they have not named Seth Smith, but still.  Not only that...the Padres gave up a player who is only a year and a half removed from a 286/376/498 31 HR 115 RBI 17 SB season (its been a ROUGH year and a half).  It is hard to believe that anyone was willing to take a trip to the Yanger Zone, but a lineup that features a starting infield (when healthy) of Yonder Alonso, Jedd Jerko, Everth Cabrera and Yanger might be the best/most depressing collection of horse shit ever collected.  Long live the Padres. -- New just broke today that CF Cameron Maybin has been suspended 25 games for using amphetamines (greenies)...he is hitting 238/292/319.  If that is him on something performance enchancing, I dont want to see him without it.  It makes me sad to think that I just picked up another Padre starting pitcher and have seriously contemplated picking up Odrisamer Despaigne, if for no other reason than to have someone named Odrisamer.

 

- The prospect love that Uncle Jimmy and I showed Mookie Betts may have been a bit premature...may have been.  The Mookster was sent back to Pawtuckett after playing in 10 less than inspiring games and hitting 235/278/382 with 1 HR and 1 SB.  So much for that $16 waiver add Uncle Jim.  Really though, I find it hard to blame Mookie for his struggles.  In his 10 games, he never played more than 4 in a row and was often in the lineup for a couple of games, then out for a couple.  I would say that he was never able to get into a rhythm at the plate, and it is really understated how important that is.  In my younger playing days, I would go through streaks where the ball looked like it was moving in slow motion and I felt like no matter what I did, I was going to hit a liner that would find some green space.  I also went through spots where it felt like there were 10 guys playing in the infield and that the infield was 190 feet deep.  The first ones were when I was in rhythm, the second ones were like when I try to dance (its not pretty).  Being jerked in and out of the lineup doesnt let a hitter get comfortable, which is huge when you are a rookie playing under the biggest microscope imaginable a few dozen miles from the head quarters of the world's largest sports media outlet and in front of some of the craziest and most unreasonable fans that have every existed. 
Mookie can thank the Sawks manager.  I still think that he will be exciting long term, but I am interested to see what Uncle Jimmy does with him seeing as how Kris Bryant and Javy Baez are currently parked in his NA spots.  Jimmy continues to assure me that Baez is close to coming up to the big squad even though he recently moved to second base in AAA and the Cubs are playing with their shiny new toy at 2b, Arismendy Alcantara (though Alcantara did play CF last night with Emilio! getting the start at the keystone sack).  Jimmy...you can always trade Kris Bryant to me...I will make him feel welcome and give him a good home.

- George Springer hit the DL yesterday (#SpringerDinged) and I cried a little.  He isnt in my starting lineup this week, so he wont be in the ass hDLes section tomorrow (homie dont play that game), but I needed to share my pain.

 And with that...on to TOM!

1) Who is Tom? What are your hopes, your dreams? If you were filling out a Match.com dating profile, what would it say? What's the deal with "Lester the Molester"? It is an old relative that constantly sat in the corner at parties and gave all the children creepy smiles?

Well, my name is Tom and I work in the IT department at Fastenal. I sit directly next to John and we like to bet on everything. I have a shaved head and a mustache and i have been called a creeper from time to time so when I picked up Jon Lester i figured the perfect name would be Lester the Molesters.

Ed note: Sometime tells me that if you put "I have been called a creeper from time to time" into a Match.com profile, you wouldnt be getting too many replies.  And the ones you would get would not be from the type of folk youd want to be associating with.

2) Whats the goal for Les Moles this year? How do you get there? How realistic is the acheivement of that goal?

I hope to make the playoffs this year and my other big goal is to beat John. He doesnt think that I will be able to win with my team so that make winning a playoff spot all the better to know that I made it and he didnt. It's going to be interesting the rest of the year to see who can lock up that last playoff spot considering five teams are really close to each other in the standings. I really didnt know what I was doing in the draft or for the first few weeks which really hurt my season because I fell to last place and it was hard to get out. But I think i can try to be Worst to First.

Ed. note- Here is what I heard.  I want to beat John. And if that doesnt work, I want to beat John.  My other goal is to beat John.  The playoffs are cool.                                               

3) You havent started Dallas Keuchel in several weeks. How close is he to the chopping block? Have you enjoyed the Keuchel coaster as much as I have?

I know. He was in a little bit of a slump before the All Star break and I just didnt feel comfortable starting him. It looks like he is getting back to being a good pitcher again so I will hang on to Dallas "Diamond Page" Keuchel and you will probably see him in my starting line up in the next week or two.

Ed note - Dallas Diamond Page is such a genious nickname that I am embarrased that I never even contemplated it.  Bravo Tom...Bravo.

4) How many times a day do you and John get into arguments about fantasy baseball? What are they usually about and who ususally wins them?

We usually dont get into arguments about Fantasy Baseball too much. We just argue about everything else and no one really wins. It always ends with the people around us shaking their heads because our arguments are usually stupid and pointless.

5) Do you have a player on your team who you didnt know much about but you are now secretly (or not so secretly) obsessed with? Have you started looking at keepers for next season? Whats it going to take for a player to continue being a Molester next season?

I would have to say I am pretty obsessed with Andrew McCutchen just because he has put up pretty good numbers this season. This is my first baseball league, keeper league, and my first auction league so it will definitely be interesting to see how it goes after this season.

6) If you were marooned on an island and you could bring 3 not-related-to-you people, 1 food and 1 drink (that you would have enough of to survive indefinitely) and 2 board games, where would the island be, who are the people and what food/drink/games would you bring?

I would like to be marooned on a tropical island somewhere with warm weather, beaches, and plenty of trees to make a Swiss Family Robinson style tree house. I would want to be stranded with Burt Reynolds, Bear Grylls, and Will Ferrell becasue I think they would be fun and Bear Grylls would help survive. Monoply would be a good game to bring because its an easy game to play that will help pass the time. Also, I would like to bring a deck of cards instead of a board game because I am a fan of Euchre and Hearts. Beer and beef jerky would be the foods I would want to be stranded with in this fictitious, hypothetical scenario.
Ed Note- No women?  Does it get lonely on that isle?  and are we talking Burt Reynolds from Smokey and the Bandit II: Smokey is the Bandit or Burt Reynolds from the Adam Sandler version of "The Longest Yard"?

7) If you were a MLBer, would you have more or less than 12 RBIs in 338 official at bats?

Why are you afraid, bat?

Basically, do you feel like you would be a better man to have hitting in an RBI situation than Ben Revere?

I didnt play baseball in school but I did enjoy playing some pickup games with some friends and I think pretty anyone has a better chance of getting more RBIs than Ben Revere.

Week 16 Waivers - Kyler shifts his focus from SS to 1B

There wasnt a ton of activity on the waiver pick ups this week, which is both good and bad for me.  It's good because it limits the amount I have to spend thinking about guys like Eric Hosmer and Matt Adams (who both play first base and who were both picked up by Kyler this week).  It's bad because then my brain starts trying to think of other things that I can think about and then try to put to paper (keyboard?) and out comes things like the LoudAAs and other randomness that only makes sense in my head.  I dont have much time, so I will try to add some bullet points tomorrow.

Since I already spoiled it, we will start here:
1b Eric Hosmer - $1 - BySs - Drop RP Neftali Feliz
1b Matt Adams - $2 - BySs - Drop 1b Justin Morneau

I love that doing these waiver pick ups has prompted things like this email I received from Kyler this morning:
 

From: Kyler 

Sent: Tuesday, July 22, 2014 11:06 AM
To: commish
Subject: RE: keisterschlaagan

Before you rip into my waiver pickups on the blog today you should know that the reason why I picked up two more first basemen is because I have the waiver money to pick them up and hope at least 1 pans out. It has been a weak spot in my lineup all year.

Let's count the players with 1b eligibility that will be on the Backyard Superstars roster when Monday rolls around: Hosmer, Adams, Joey Votto (DL), Lonnie Chisenhall (3b as well), Daniel Murphy (2b as well), Jonathon Lucroy (C as well).  SIX PLAYERS who can move into that 1b slot!  There are only 4 OFer on the team for 3 spots.  Don't get me wrong, I actually have a borderline unhealthy like for Hosmer (really, any like at all for him should be considered borderline unhealthy) and I think that he will have a solid second half.  Same goes for Adams, though I am more ambivelant towards him (prolly a Cardinal thing).  Both players have been on huge runs over he past month (330/402/462 for Hosmer, 333/362/600 for Adams) and either should help the revolving door that has been the 1b slot on BySs, but Kyler, lets call it what it is, a ploy to own every 1b available on the waiver wire so that if someone has an injury, they have to deal with you.  This is commonly seen in fantasy football in regards to bye week QBs. 

In fact, I pulled this on someone in my work league a couple of years back.  I picked up like 4 QBs one week and he ended up starting someone like Charlie Batch because there were no starting QBs left on the wire except good old Chuck.  I dont think that guy talked to me for like 3 or 4 weeks after that.  Its a bold move, Cotton, and more viable strategy than wearing a blindfold during a sudden death dodgeball match.  I am excited to see what happens when Stephen Vogt (C, 1b, OF), Steve Pearce (1b, OF) and Kelly Johnson (1b, 2b. 3b, OF) are on BySs this time next week.  Keep doing your thing Kyler.

RP Pat Neshek - $5 - KIODL - Drop SP Jeff Locke
Most people who throw underhand at some point stop when they get to playing real baseball, but not Pat Neshek.  Neshek is a nice player (an even better story) and a former Twin, but he probably could have been had for $5.  Locke has struck out 38 batters on the season.  There are 10 players who have struckout 38 or more batters in the last 30 days.

SP Jesse Hahn - $2 - MBHB - Drop 2b, 3b, OF Josh Harrison
Harrison's All Star selection is right up there with the selection of Al Pedrique to the NL All Star team in RBI Baseball as far as things that make you go hmmmm when it comes to All Star teams.  He has been decent, but nowhere near deserving of an AS bid.  Hahn gets to pitch in nice, roomy Petco field and so far has racked up 47 Ks in 40 2/3 innings with 5 wins, a 2.21 ERA and a 1.06 WHIP.  He is currently down in AAA because he has options available and much of the rest of the staff doesnt, but he should be back up in the next few days to make a Saturday start.  Just like that I am back in the San Diego Padres rotation, only now I get the comfort of knowing that Yanger is playing 3b behind him instead of Chase Headley.  I am sleeping better already.

 

Thanks Direct TV

Once upon a time, in a land not so far, far away, Direct TV decided that the MLB Extra Innings Package should have another free preview in the first week of games after the All Star Break...and it was widely thought that this was the greatest stretch in television history since the last free preview of MLB Extra Innings in the first week of the regular season.  One of the things that I missed in the first free trial was this setup here to the right.  You can get 8 games at once with all of them showing the score of the game, but you only listen to 1 at a time and can change audio feeds very easily and quickly and can go to a main game just by hitting the enter button.  F'ing genius.  I was watching the ChiSox-Astros game on Saturday afternoon because I wanted to watch George Springer hit live.  I have seen the highlights and I know the stats, but I had yet to see one of his at bats in real time, and to me, you cant really know how good a player is until you see one.  When I was growing up, Frank Thomas at bats were must see TV.  When the Sox were on and Thomas was up, you stopped what you were doing, you put off the urge to run to the bathroom after eating 3 pounds of queso dip, you told mom that she was going to need to wait about 2.5 minutes...you get the idea.  There was always a sense that Thomas was going to do something that you'd never seen before and that you would kick yourself until eternity if you missed it for something stupid.  These arethe guys that every pitcher treats differently and you can see it on the ptcher's face when these guys come up to the plate. There arent many players like that.  Right now, there might be a handful - Giancarlo Stanton, Yasiel Puig and ...?  Tulo, Trout and Cabrera are spectacular baseball players and they belong on anyone's shortlist of the best players in the game today, but their greatness isnt embodied in any single moment.  They are great simply because they excel repeatedly, constantly, and ruthlessly like baseball andriods sent straight from BaseWars to dominate mankind.
If you have never played BaseWars, then may God have mercy on your soul.  Stanton and Puig, like the Big Hurt (and Albert Pooholes before he turned into old bald man PooHoles) before them, can do something spectacular and rarely seen before at any moment (for Stanton, its hitting the ball 450ft+ like hes swatting flies in his backyard. For Puig, its bat-flipping on balls that may or may not go out of the yard).  Anyways, I wanted to see if Springer had that air about him.  The Sox had Hector Noesi on the hill, so it wasnt exactly a high degree of difficulty matchup for Georgey.  I did get to see him hit a 415' bomb to right which was pretty impressive, but I also saw the Chi Sox choose to intentionally walk Alex Presley TO LOAD THE BASES in the 7th inning with Ronald Bellsario on the hill to get to Springer.  People didnt walk the guy before Thomas (or Stanton. or Puig. Or Tulo. Or Trout. Or Cabrera. Or about 25 other players I dont feel like naming).  Basically, I came away thinking that Springer is a good player (maybe even a special player) but that it isnt worth stopping my day to watch him.  The other thing that struck me as I was watching this game was how truely terrible Dallas Keuchel is at pitching (and life...his beard makes homeless people look like they belong on the cover of GQ...there might actually be a colony of finches living in it).  Keuchel's fastball was topping out at 88-89 and his change up was in the 80 MPH range.  There wasnt a ton of movement that I could tell and the Sox werent really getting fooled.  He managed to avoid the loss because he was facing the aforementioned Noesi.  I honestly have no idea how he was a competent Major League starter for more than a couple of game.  Maybe life will let him get back to his true calling as a bird sanctuary.
One other quick mention before I get it on with the recaps.  One of the other games I watched a bunch of was the Garrett Richards - Felix Hernandez showdown in Anaheim from late Saturday night.  In case you missed the pretty pictures, Richards had a perfecto through 5 innings and Felix had given up 1 hit through 6.  I have both of these guys in fantasy, so it was driving me nuts that I was going to end up without a win from either of them when they both pitched so spectacularly well.  But the takeaways were clear.  Richards is one of the, if not the, best up and coming pitchers in the league.  He throws a filthy 95 MPH fastball (that he can run up to 97-99) that runs away from lefties and pairs it with a nice slider (avg 86 MPH) and occasional cutter and change up to keep guys honest.  While Richards is up and coming, King Felix reminded me why he is the best pitcher in the Bigs not named Clayton Kershaw (and he might be just as good as Clay).  What Felix did to a pretty solid Angels lineup can be best described as a crime against humanity.  His combination of 4 seam fastball, 2 seam fastball, cut fastball, slider and change up is borderline unfair.  Watching the Angles flail against him, I was reminded of something that I heard a long time ago about pitch blending and how it is one of the things that makes pitchers succeed more or less than their talent would suggest.  The concept is simple - try to make all of your pitches look the same until they get close to the plate, then they move and the batter cant react quick enough; everyone can hit a curveball if the ball jumps 3 inches out of a pitchers hand instead of coming on a straight downward plane like a fastball then biting 5 or 6 feet in front of the plate.  Hernandez takes this concept to a level rarely seen.  It actually reminded me of MVP 05 for PS2.
 In that game, once the pitcher chose a pitch, the ball would change color depending on the pitch type.  That way, you could read it out of the pitchers hand and see what the ball was going to do - a fastball was white, a change up was green, curveball was blue and so on.  It was fantastic and it was the most realistic adaptation of the batter-pitcher interface ever developed.  What people quickly realized was that 4 seam fastballs, 2 seam fastballs and cutters were all white out of the hand, but ended up in very different places.  When I started playing online, I couldnt figure out why 75% of people were using a terrible team.  I expected to see lots of Red Sox (fresh off their first WS) and lots of Diamondbacks (with the Big Unit).  Instead there were lots of Pirates and Josh Fogg/Kris Benson and ChiSox and Mark Buehrle.  And they were unhittable in the right hands because the pitches blended.  Gosh I wish they would bring this back for The Show.

Anyways...on to the recaps.

Week 15 Recaps - The long hello

This week was the gift that kept on giving - 14 days of matchup that ended up being very similar to every other week that we have had so far this season.  It was actually a bit anti-climactic and I am glad that it's over so that we can move on to the important things, like shooting imaginary arrows at people.

 

UCCMA (77-95-8) 10
MTMTAS (73-93-14) 2

This was as onesided as a matchup can get without being a 12-0 skunking.  Tyler managed to sneak out wins and saves/holds by 1 each to keep himself from having to run nude to the nearest stop sign (an old Euchre skunking penalty).  Looking at the stats though, I am not sure how Uncle Jimmy managed to pull it off.  Newly acquired Freddie Freeman (091/231/091 1R 1RBI) was more Nightmare on Elm Street than Morgan and TMGS hit only 138/257/379 3R 3RBI 1 SB.  Michael Brantley picked him up with 8 R 6 RBI and a SB, while Buster Posey knocked in 9 and Todd Frazier knocked in 7 and stole 2 more bases.  Frazier is now only 5 steals from being the first 20-20 player in the bigs this year.  For Tyler, Allen Craig (182/217/227) continued to be bad at baseball while stealing at bats from Oscar Tavares, and Dustin Pedroia (195/244/244) and Gregory Polanco (146/205/146) both were sub Mendoza.  On the hill, Tyson Ross gave UCCMA 3 QS and a 1.35 ERA, 1.00 WHIP and 21 Ks and the traded James Shields added 18 Ks in his peace out week.  For Tyler, Stephen Strasburg dominated with 27 Ks and a 1.07 WHIP over 3 starts, but didnt pick up a single win and was only credited with 1 QS (and those are the categories Tyler won?!?).


Bob's Aters (104-66-10) 7
Huckleberries (74-95-11) 4
Tie 1 (Sv+H; 11)

This was a grudgematch that started with Kevin posting on the matchup board,
TBD

Jul 11, 6:46 pm

I'm coming for you this week bobbo.... my team started in the hole and harper is a piece of jit, but i'm still gonna beat ya so bad it'll knock that stache off your face homes :)

Well, I think Bob's stache is still in its rightful place but it was closer than the 7-4 final indicated and it featured our closest category (that had a winner) yet this season.  Kevin won the batting average category .2914 to .2913 thanks in large part to Robby Cano's 462/500/590 week that helped in overcome Jose Abreu (415/467/659) and Casey McGehee (417/417/667).  McGehee hit his second HR of the season, because of course he did now that he is on Bob's team.  And Billy Hamilton (326/383/535 6R 8RBI 3SB) continued doing Billy Hamilton things because that is what Billy Hamilton does..  Kevin was able to edge Bob in 4 of the hitting categories, but Bob excelled in pitching, winning 5 and tieing one.  Bob got 21 Ks from Hisashi Iwakuma in 3 starts and 14 more from Aroldis Chapman (and 4 SV/H) in 7 appearances while Kevin's SPs struggled.  Jason Hammel (9.00 ERA 2.43 WHIP), Gio Gonzalez (5.40, 1.60), Chris Archer (4.76, 1.50), and Yo!vani Gallardo (7.15, 1.59) all contributed to a line that a stellar week from the bullpen couldnt overcome.


KIODL (79-94-7) 6  <---Thats John's team..it looks like Midol, but jumbled.
ZAttack (92-78-10) 5
Tie 1 (QS; 4)


Yes that is a BRO-H-I-O shirt.  Apparently
they really do exist. I am happy to live in a
world where I will never see one.

A new team name, maybe a new direction for John's team as he embraces the shit show that is his team's injury luck.  It was actually a couple of players that were on the DL for a good stretch of the season that spurred this win.  Jason Kipnis put up a 289/396/422 line with 7R 7 RBI and 5 SB and got help from Ryan Zimmerman's 353/395/647 5R 10RBI week to lead the Midoled ones.  Mars Blackmon pitched in with a 464/484/714 5R 5RBI 2 SB line.  Zach got 9 RBI from David Ortiz (but only a 150/244/325 slash), 8 runs 5 RBI and 3 SB from Jose Altuve, a 452/500/806 5R 5RBI line from the less angry Manny Machado and a Roid-like 387/457/645 slash from Ryan Braun, but it wasnt enough as John won 5 of the hitting categories.  Zach won 4 of the pitching categories as he overcame some bullpen issues (Sergio Romo 27.00 ERA, 3.00 WHIP, Hector Rondon 9.00, 3.00, Joaquin Benoit 9.00, 2.25) with some stellar starting pitching from Clayton Kershaw (1W 19K 2.25 ERA 0.69WHIP, 2 QS) Jeff Samardzija (9K 0.90 WHIP), and Homer Bailey (0.80 WHIP).  The real story here is the implosion of John's starting staff.  Here are their WHIPs for the "week" - 1.68, 1.32, 1.59, 1.83, 2.00, 1.50, 1.65, 2.00 (he shuffled some in and out at the week break...who wouldnt have?).  Carlos Martinez, in his move to the Cardinal rotation, struck out 16 batters over 14 innings in 3 starts, but he allowed 11 runs (7.07 ERA) and 28 baserunners.

Dust Bunnies (90-83-7) 6
BySs (90-77-13) 6

If only Dusty would do something about his lineup....  Dusty currently has a catcher who was released his his real life team, a RP who was sent to the minors because he was absolutely terrible (and the Braves have Fastenal's own Shae Simmons) and a gaping "--" in one of his starting OF spots...and he won 3 hitting categories against one of the better hitting teams in the league.  Dusty got 8 RBI apeice from Ian Kinsler and Chris Davis and a 348/388/674 11R 11RBI line from Archer/Soft Pretzel Pusher/Sandwich Artist Harasser Mike Trout (with all those things, I cant believe he still finds time to play baseball).  Kyler got 8R 9RBI and 3 SB from Jimmy Rollins, but they came with a 216/293/541 slash as Rollins did what we like to call "the most with the least".  On the hill, the team's split 3-3 again as Dusty took Ks by 1 behind 6 pitchers in double digits (led by Chris Tillman's 16) as the many good pitchers beat 20+ Ks from both Sonny Gray (3W 0.84 ERA 0.89 WHIP, 3 QS) and Yu Darvish (1W 4.97 ERA 1.42 WHIP 1 QS).  Henderson Alvarez's 8.22 ERA and 1.43 WHIP line took a ding out of Kyler's ratios, but the flop of the week award goes to Luis Avilan, who gave up 3 runs (40.50 ERA) and 5 baserunners (7.50 WHIP) while only getting 2 outs before being demoted to AAA.