Baseball's Back

With a lot of free time on my hands I have decided to make my glorious return to the blog since my abrupt end during the fantasy football playoffs last December. For my first post of the baseball season I want to point out some things I've noticed from the first two days of the season. So without further ado baseball is back, and so am I…

Only the Marlins!

So, someone forgot to close the $100 million retractable roof on opening day. You would think that people in Miami would realize that it rains every day in Florida from March till June, yet somehow the guy(s) responsible for closing the roof were caught off guard by the rain storm. This has got to be one of the hardest things in the world to screw up. Just think about it, all the maintenance crew had to do was look at a radar screen and say “hey guys looks like it’s going to rain (obviously). We should probably close the roof… you know because we can’t play baseball in the pouring rain.” Instead, they decided it would be a good idea to test the weather and see if it will miss the stadium. Stupidity level = 100. (This happened to the Brewers at Miller Park a few years ago as well…not surprising)

Also from Miami, how bad was Mat Latos the other night!? He allowed 7 runs in just 2/3 of an inning to a Braves lineup that features the likes of Christian Christina Betancourt, Kelly Johnson, and Jace Peterson. You would've had a better chance convincing me those three were on the t.v. show Real Housewives of Atlanta rather than in the Braves lineup. Latos now has a solid 94.50 ERA heading into his next start in case you were wondering.

Most ridiculous performance from Opening Day:

Kyle Fucking Kendrick. I thought the Brewers would actually win their opening day game because they were facing this joke. I was wrong. Kendrick went 7 innings giving up no runs and embarrassing Brewers players, staff, fans, or anyone remotely associated with the team. The fact that Kendrick was an opening day starter was laughable and the fact that the Brewers struggled so bad against him is a terrible realization that the Brewers may be headed for a long and difficult season. Kendrick put so much fear into Ryan Braun that he left the game after only two at bats with “a rib issue” and has yet to return in fear that Kyle the Great will destroy him. I’m imagining Braun sitting in the corner of the clubhouse with tears in his eyes and curled up in a ball, rocking back in forth repeating the words, “I’m an MVP. I’m an MVP”

Favorite teams of the Tot Heads:

This will be really simple. The Brewers can’t score and they can’t get stop the Rockies offense, which lead to them being swept. The Twins can’t even score a run, which is kind of important in baseball. In fact, the Twins have a combined 9 hits in the first two games of the season, while their opponent (who happens to be the Tigers) have scored 15 runs. To make matters even worse for you Twins fans, Ervin Santana gets to stay home for half the year because of his illegal substance suspension. I’m thinking that maybe he realized this team was going to be terrible and decided “Hell I don’t want to be here. Oh I know! I’ll get suspended so I don’t have to play for half the year.” He then ran up and down the streets of Florida at the end of spring training trying to find anybody who can test him for steroids till he finally found someone willing to do it. I would like to think the first test came back negative and he demanded they retake the test as many times as needed in order to get a positive test.

The other team that is a Tot Head favorite is the Cubs. Where do I begin on this one? The cubs looked awful on Sunday night between not scoring, Lester not being able to hold runners to a decent lead, and fans not being able to go to the bathroom. Now they did get a good outing from Jake Arrieta yesterday in a 2-0 win. However, it’s pretty easy to see that until Bryant and Baez come up to help Rizzo, this team is going to be the same ole Cubs. Just to go back to the Lester not throwing over scenario, I don’t understand how a star pitcher can have such a disregard for attempting pick-offs or even keeping the runners close. By the way the broadcasters made it sound, Lester is so bad at it and afraid to do it that he would rather just let every runner get a gargantuan lead and practically walk to the next base rather than throw over. He better fix that real soon or David Ross may end up setting the record for worst caught stealing percentage in a single season in MLB history.

Seattle is my new Colorado:

For the second year I have had the privilege of watching some MLB Extra Innings package baseball with The Commish. If you recall, last year this produced everything that is great about the Colorado Rockies home broadcasts, which included the inspiration of “We Get Tacos” and the Mike Shaw's Subaru Super Slow-Mo Replay. This year my favorite team on Extra Innings is the Seattle Mariners. For starter’s they are somehow sponsored by the state of Alaska (or at least that’s what every replay tells me when the graphic just says sponsored by Alaska). How do you get a random state to sponsor your professional sports team? I’m hoping next year I will find out that the Oakland A’s are sponsored by the state of Wyoming.

The other great thing I noticed about the Mariners’ broadcast was the great promo commercials, especially the one I have posted a link to below. Being able to see the local commercials and team promos is one of the most enjoyable things about Extra Innings and this one takes the cake.

http://www.king5.com/story/sports/mlb/mariners/2015/03/18/intensely-intense-2015-mariners-commercial/24970069/

Week 1 Waivers - From the IL

Greetings Super Friends from the scenic river town of Moline, IL.  I know that the week 1 waiver add update is like 5.6 days late and that no excuse can possible make up for the hours of anticipation and anxiety that all of you have undoubtedly been dealing with.  Unfortunately, the same reason that I am staring down the barrel of the IWireless Center and the John Deere Pavilion is why I am been delayed getting this recap done and posted.  The company I work for got a new project with the Deere peeps (which is for a not yet released product, so I cant really tell you about it at this point, other than to tell you that it exists and its cool as hell, or I would have to end you...and I like most of you enough that I dont want to do that) that I am basically in charge of...so...ipso facto...free time is at a premium for the next few months at least.  I will still try to make sure that this blog gets updated in a timely fashion, but the updates may be a little sparse at times...which sucks because I am pretty sure that you all like reading this as much as I like writing it.

Anyways, before we get to the waiver adds, lets pause for a ceremonial first beer from our league champ, LC Tomsula.

 

Waivers this week are going to take on a little different format.  I am going to group the moves by team instead of individually, since the moves this early in the season are usually connected to one another...and apparently everyone was terribly unhappy with their auctions...sweet 10 lb 9 oz baby Jesus...all laying in your manger with your Baby Einstein Developmental books...how many transactions are there this week?  And none of them were by the guy who wasnt at the draft and was accidentally not given a catcher?

 

Lets call this format preparation H (preparations A through G were good, but we really needed something now) and lets see how it feels on the whole...if it sucks...well, then it sucks and I'll have to try something different next time.  On with the show:
 

Les Moles

SP/RP Josh Collmenter - $4 - Drop OF Coco Crisp

SP/RP Hector Noesi - $4 - Drop 3b Matt Carpenter

We start with LC Tomsula.  Josh Collmenter is the awesomest.  He throws axes.  He grows terrific facial hair.  He wears fantastic hats.  He is also one of the worst MLB opening day starting pitchers in the history of the world not named Kyle Kendrick (seriously...Kyle Kendrick is starting on opening day for an actual major league baseball team and it isnt on a dare nor is the former stripper owner from Major League involved...that we know of).  He does offer the illusive SP/RP designation that some of us (who me?) chase like catnip and have been known to overpay for and he was an above average pitcher last season because he bascially walked about 1 batter per start.  Unfortunately, his cost was the player that LC Tomsula was most excited about during the draft.  Now, I dont know if it was the beer talking, but LC Tomsula chastized the rest of us repeatedly for no one bidding over the top of his like $2 bid for Coco.  If Coco and his Afro arent back on Tom's team before the year is over, I may have to make an executive decision to add him back.  Some things are just meant to be.

As for Noesi, my mother taught me that if I didnt have anything nice to say, that I shouldnt say anything at all.  Noesi was on 3 different teams last year, including getting released by the Texas Rangers. The Rangers, for those of you who cant recall a couple of months ago, had more injuries than just about any team in MLB last year and they didnt think that giving Noesi the ball every 5th day was a better idea than giving it to Joe Saunders, Robbie Ross or something called a Miles Mikolas.  If Noesi is on Tom's team in June, I would be very surprised.  We're done here.
 

Bob's ATers

SP Kyle Hendricks - $10 - No Drop

RP Darren O'Day - $4 - Drop SP Jesse Hahn

 

Kyle Hendricks is a Cub.  That is really the only reason I can possibly come up with that Bob would have bid $10 on him.  Maybe he was trying to channel last season, when he posted a $20 bid on Yordano Ventura right after the draft and that worked out well?  Hendricks had a great run of starts at the end of last season, turning in a 1.08 whip over 80+ innings, but he has never been seen as that strong of a pitcher. His minor league track record looks strong (his statistical profile and "stuff" actually are fairly similar to those of blog favorite Mike Fiers), but his strikeout rate ranked somewhere between poor and homeless Greecian last season.  I am not saying that he can't be a useful pitcher in the ratio categories, but I am doubting that the $10 investment will be worth it.

 

The Hendricks pickup created a logjam of SPs and Bob addressed that by adding O'Day for Jesse Hahn.  I love O'Day.  He has been consistently great over the past several seasons (he has a little gopher problem, but you take the bad with the good).  He will be in a prominent spot in a decent bullpen for a slightly above average team.  He wont blow the league away with holds or saves, but he should ahve great ratios and decent Ks...as long as he doesnt splode his elbow.

UCCMA

RP Joel Peralta - $5 - No Drop

RP Jordan Walden - $3 - No Drop

 

Jim wanted relievers. Jim got relievers. El fin.

 

Javy Bombs

3b/OF Yasmany Tomas - $3 - Drop C Miguel Montero

SP/RP Carlos Martinez - $2 - Drop RP LaTroy Hawkins

RP Jeurys Familia - $1 - Drop SP Zach Wheeler

2b,3b, OF Martin Prado - $1 - No Drop

 

I am not surprised that Attack of the Zach was one of the most active teams in the first waiver period.  Hawkins is the oldest player in the Bigs...and he pretty much sucks it...Wheeler's elbow ligament is now elbow ligaments... and Montero is a second 10 catcher at best.  In their places, Zach adds Martin Prado, who offers the ability to play multiple positions poorly while maintaining a decent batting average, Familia, a borderline RP for fantasy with some upside potential, Martinez, who offers a ton of upside (he has been called baby Pedro, and not just because of the Jheri Curl) and Tomas. 

 

If Martinez can finally harness his potential, he will be a terror, but will still be blocked by a pretty stacked Cardinal rotation.  The real potential season changer, here, is Tomas.  The 24 year old Cuban defector has big time power potential, but didnt put up the same type of video game numbers that fellow Cubans Jose Abreu or Yasiel Puig put up before they came over and immediately found success in the Bigs, so there could be some adjustment period.  Also, the D-Backs are trying to teach Tomas to play 3b...and it isnt going well.  I believe "wildebeest trying to catch eggs in a frying pan" is an apt description.  A move back to the OF (where he belongs) would create a logjam of OFers on the AZ roster and could lead to Tomas beginning the season in the minors due to issue with other players not having options remaining.  Even if that's the case though, Tomas's potential would be well worth a NA spot and a "watch and see" approach.

 

Dust Bunnies

1b Eric Hosmer - $1 - Drop Billy Butler

I am pretty sure that the league is responsible for this transaction.  After Dusty picked up Billy Butler, he got so much shit that he basically had no other option but to dump the Butler stink and pick up anything else.  Congrats Dusty, you get points for dumping Butler.  The problem is that Hosmer might not be a ton better.  If its the Hosmer who came to life at the end of 2013 or during the 2014 playoffs, he is easily a rosterable 1b, if not a starting 1b.  But if he is the Hosmer who played at every other moment over the past 2 years, he is nothing but a better fielding, skinnier Butler who does nice things like buying drinks for fans at clubs and wear Ambiguously Gay duo outfits with Mike MooseTacos.

MTMTAS

SP Drew Hutchison - $1 - Drop SP Tanner Roark

SP Kevin Gausman - $1 - Drop RP Sean Doolittle

 

I want to get excited about Drew Hutchison and Kevin Gausman.  I really do.  They are both 6'3" 190 pound right handers who happen to bat left handed, even though they play in the AL and dont have to bat much, if ever.  They are both 24 year old, hard throwing guys coming off of strong seasons in the AL East (which isnt what it used to be folks).  I just cant bring myself to get excited about either of them.  They will likely both be solid pitchers and have the chance to be much much much more than that over the course of their careers, maybe even this year.  Maybe I'll come around on Gausman.  He is an Oriole...and Adam Jones seems to like him, so he has to be at least somewhat awesome.

Hitless Bastards

SP/RP Marcus aStroman - $1 - No Drop

SS Jed Lawrie - $1 - No Drop

 

Finally the end. 

Dear league-

Thanks for voting for the extra DL spot so that I can park aStroman there for the entire season and not completely destroy my competitiveness and end up having to trade a $20 Anthony Rizzo for Aramis Ramirez and never get a chance to use said Ramirez so that I can keep an injured Matt Harvey on my team.  Long live aStroman.

Thanks.

Commish

 

Stroman will spend the next 8 months parked in the DL spot (when it becomes available) and will be the leader in the club house to take the newly added 11th keeper spot heading into next season.

 

As for Lowrie...well...I hate my SS life.  Having a Jose Reyes is nice, but requires an adequate backup.  I had my eye on Jhonny Peralta as a wire add, but then we gave him to John and left the SS landscape really really ridiculously barren.  I mean, were talking Lawrie, Marcus Semien, Jean Segura, and Didi Gregorius...is death an option?  Can I take the Dusty route and start a blank spot or someone who isnt on an active roster?  Are Shawon Dunston and his cookie duster available? (The answer is yes...its always yes for Dunston.  I actually learned that Shawon Dunston Jr is a minor league OFer in the Cubs system.  He stole 27 bases for Kane County last year.  If he is there again, someone needs to go to a Kane County Cougars game and get his autograph for me so I can pretend that its his dad's). 

 



Draftnanigans

It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day… (I'll get some pictures on here of Tom's crispy crowning soon)

I’m sure that most of you are familiar with 16^th century political and philosophical writer, Niccolo Machiavelli (not to be confused with Tupac’s assumed persona, Makaveli, who was responsible for the album, The Don Killuminati – The Seven Day Theory, which provided us with the excellent “To Live and Die in LA”).  The term Machiavellian has come to mean something a bit different than what man wrote in the original work, Il Principe, but the main emphasis is similar.  Machiavelli posited that people who aimed at getting or maintaining power or glory (the princes) were justified, or even required, to use immoral means to achieve those goals.  Now, in the Tot league, we have our very own league champ, LC Tomsula, who, I would guess, is keen on maintaining that title.  This weekend, we witnessed the first of what will likely be a number of Machiavellian moves on the part of the LC.  With his team mostly set and the auction winding down to where most of the nominations at $1 were being won for a dollar, LC Tomsula nominated Ben Revere at $1.  This led to a cry of outrage from Twins/former Twins-collector Dusty, who couldn’t bid more than $1 himself.  At the time, we all laughed and Tom played it cool like he didn’t know what was going on.  But, when I entered LC Tomsula’s team, I found that, not only was Revere his 7^th OF eligible player, but that he only has 2 RPs…meaning that he is going to have to drop 3 players in order to field a starting lineup.  Looking back, I am now pretty sure that Tom looked at the remaining players and realized that he could gain a psychological edge on Dusty by taking a player Dusty was likely to want, even though he didn’t need him.  Well played Tom, but now I am on to you.

Voting results:

1)      Add a DL spot to rosters immediately.  PASSED and we now have 3 DL spots.

2)      Add a bench spot to rosters immediately. PASSED and we now have 24 roster spots

3)      Cash in trades. MODIFIED AND PASSED.  Cash from the next season’s auction can now be included in trades but there is a $75 limit on the amount 1 team can receive in a single season.

4)      Carry over NA players without counting towards the limit of 10.  VETOED.  MODIFIED – Change number of keepers to 11.   PASSED and will be implemented for 2015 to 2016 offseason.

 

Anyways…the much anticipated auction weekend extravaganza is now behind us and the MLB regular season is quickly approaching.  But before we look forward to each team’s auction high and low moment, a couple of more thoughts from the auction.

-          I mentioned this during the auction, but having keepers really changed things in terms of cost.  with the majority of keepers being underpriced, the rest of the player pool should have been a bit more expensive (an entire team’s worth of money not being in the pool helped alter costs as well), but no one noticed it until we got closer to the end and everyone realized that several teams were going to end up with lots of money left over.  The subsequent run on RPs who we knew we wouldn’t be keeping led to some completely crazy prices (Matt Shoemaker, I’m looking at you buddy).

-          Don’t ever, ever, ever let Dusty eat Cheez-Its in your house.  Somehow both Kyler and I ended up with Cheez-It crumbs in our laptop keyboards even though neither of us can remember a time when Dusty was near our computers.

-          If you ever play a hockey video game with LC Tomsula, be prepared for him to start as many fights as possible, including fights that involve his team’s goalie and one of the opponent’s forwards.  Also be prepared for him to giggle uncontrollably while these fights occur.

-          Bob is still a dick.

-          Kyler is to multitasking what Kris Bryant is to hitting baseballs…lots of unproven potential.  Just kidding… he somehow managed to bid for his own team while texting information to both Tyler and Zach and receiving their bids to relay to the rest of us.

-          Kertie and Allie are saints.  The official wives of You Can Call Me Al and Huckleberries, respectively, put up with their husbands sitting in front of a computer for 3ish hours while we made terrible jokes and they had to handle parenting duties.

-          And last, but certainly not least, if you see or talk to my wife, please thank her.  Not only did she take 2 kids and leave her home for the weekend so that we could have our fun, but she did it while not feeling terribly well and dealing with a teething 10 month old who wasn’t happy with anyone but mom holding her.  Nothing that happened this weekend would have happened without her willingness to let me (and by extension you…but really she did it for me) skirt my normal responsibilities and have a good time without having to worry about anything.  I am lucky to have someone who understands and encourages me to occasionally spend time doing silly things with the guys, even though she knows that it will make things tougher on her.

 

And now…on to the teams (the evaluation is based on player talent, not cost, even though they are largely tied together.

Les Moles- Tom

Best auction pick up – C Russell Martin – While I don’t think that Martin is going to perform as well as he did last year, he should be able to rack up the runs and RBI playing in an absolutely loaded Toronto lineup.  Also, he is terrific insurance in case Devin MesoHorny doesn’t bounce back well from his concussion or turns out to not be as good as he showed last season.

Worst auction pick up – OF Coco Crisp’s Afro – For some reason, Tom was really excited when he won Coco Crisp for $2.  The rest of realized that he was more like Coco Puff last year, hitting under .250 and slugging barely more than the powerful Ben Revere, who had 30 more stolen bases.

Javy Bombs (formerly Zach Attach)- Zach

Best- SP Colin McHugh –  McHugh was phenomenal last year for a terrible Astros team.  Combine his stuff and control with an improved lineup and a bullpen that features MLB caliber relievers and I don’t think that I am alone in thinking that McHugh is this season’s Cory Kluber breakout superstar.

Worst- SS Andrelton Simmons – As I said during the auction, Simmons is a player whose real life value far surpasses his fantasy value.  He isn’t a terribly great hitter to begin with and he is now hitting in what is perhaps the Majors’ worst lineup, meaning his runs and RBI chances are likely to dwindle, even from last season’s lows.

Bob’s AutoTrackers- Bob

Best- SP,RP Carlos Carrasco – Carrasco was one of the top pitchers in the AL over the second half of the season last year.  If he truly found it as a pitcher, he should add to an already solid staff.  And he has the coveted SP/RP designation that seems to have been reduced drastically from a season ago.

Worst- C Yan Gomes – This one is more of a “Bob should have kept him” kinda thing.  Just before the keeper deadline, Bob decided to keep Jason Heyward and throw Gomes back.  He then paid several times the price for Gomes in the auction…and picked up a 4^th OFer, Billy Hamilton, for a bunch of money.  As much as Hamilton can suck from time to time, he can singlehandedly win SBs for any given week (especially combined with Dee Gordon again).  That means that one of the 3 OFers Bob kept will be riding the pine every week.

BySs- Kyler

Best- 1b Edwin Encarnacion – Big Eddie was the top position player available by almost any measure (other than SBs…he sucks at SBs) and Kyler got him for extremely cheap.  It would not surprise me to see Eddie as a keeper moving forward.

Worst – OF Alex Rios – Really, there aren’t a whole lot of questionable selections here.  Rios could get back on track, but his terrible OBP and SLG and general dickishness (he was such a dick they kicked him out of Canada…and Canadians love everyone – havent you see Canadian Bacon?) make him the choice here.

Dust Bunnies – Dusty

Best- SP Kyle Lohse – Dusty had the fewest dollars available at the start of the auction.  And he got pushed off a number of guys I know he would have loved to have (most of them were Twins or ex-Twins…don’t be surprised when Justin Morneau ends up on his team in 2 weeks).  But picking up Lohse, coming off a really solid year, with his last nomination was a great move.

Worst- 1b Billy Butler – This was a more questionable move…especially with Miggy and Joey Bats already on the roster and 1b eligible…and about 102 more qualified 1b playing humans still available.  Butler’s once great hitting skills eroded last year, and now he calls the fringe A’s lineup and massive O.Co Park home.

KEODL – John

Best- 3b ARod – A little juice should make everyone else on the team a little better.

Worst – Since John didn’t actually pick any of his guys, I’ll go with a keeper…Kennys Vargas.  I know that John loves “Little Papi” but I don’t think that anyone else in the league would have bid more than a dollar on him, if anything at all, meaning John threw back a player for someone he could have gotten back for the exact same cost anyways.

MBHB – Lou

Best- 3b Josh Donaldson – Donaldson was the second best position player available and went for less than expected.

Worst- I bet youre all expecting me to say Matt Shoemaker here, aren’t you.  Well I am not going to give you the satisfaction.  Instead I will go with the Kold one.  I don’t know what it is about me and the damn Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, California, USA, Earth, Milky Way but apparently I cant quite certain members of their team.

Huckleberries – Kevin

Best- RP Aroldis Chapman – The best RP available and a literal one man wrecking crew of strikeouts and awesomeness.

Worst- RP Fernando Rodney – His skills are dwindling to the point where he is becoming a liability at the end of games (his save numbers are bolstered by the games he comes in with 2 or 3 run leads and gives up a run or 2 but wiggles out of it before giving the game away) and he seems like a d-bag…and I don’t like d-bags.

MTMTAS – Tyler

Best- C Matt Wieters – Wieters was once one of the best offensive catchers in baseball…and then he got hurt in a way that shouldn’t really affect his hitting…and we all forgot about him. 

Worst- 2b, OF Arismendy Alcantara – It might be the .250ish OBP…that’s on base %, not batting average…  it might be the super high strikeout rate.  It might be that he doesn’t really have a position to play, especially once Kris Bryant masher of baseballs arrives on the north side.  Alcantara might fill the Ben Zobrist role all over the place for Joe Maddon, but he will have to have a serious improvement in OBP…and there were similar players available.

UUCMA – Jim

Best- 3b, OF Ryan Zimmerman – Zimmerman will man 1b for the Nats this year, giving Zimmerman 3 position eligibility and keeping him from having to do things like play defense, which often led to him getting hurt.  The one thing that Zimmerman has always done is hit, and that should continue this season.

Worst- RP Addison Reed – FTH?  Addison Reed was one of the worst closers in baseball last season and news out of camp is that he is altering his release point to put less stress on his shoulder.  Lets see…bad year…altered delivery from what he has done his whole life…sore shoulder…  red flags all over this one.

20 Day Warning; KEEPERS DUE IN 5 DAYS

Well friends, we are coming into the close of a rather disappointing Getting Crispy season as only 1 trade was actually agreed upon (and that was actually agree on before trading opened).  For shame, fellow tot-ers.  Uncle Jimmy and I tossed around a few ideas (and I asked Dusty about TuloGit but was quickly rebuffed), but ultimately couldnt agree on the details.  I am sure there are a couple of other similar stories to be told.  I think at least part of the problem is that a lot of us dont have a way to contact one another.  At the auction, if youre comfortable, we should make sure that everyone has everyone's digits so that we can go back to our wives or girlfriends and tell them that we got digits over the weekend contact one another more easily about this sort of thing.  I am fairly certain that there is not a stalker among us...fairly certain.

With keeper lists due in 5 days, I am still waiting on 5 more lists to come in.  Get that shit done...heres a list of those who are playing the procrastination game and guesses as to why.

 

League Champ Tomsula - Turns out the defending champ is most likely playing it cool and waiting.  I talked to Tom a bit at the F-word employee dinner and he was geeked about the season.  That's right, I said geeked.  If you had been there you would have thought he was pretty geeked to.  You want to know how many times I am going to say geeked in this paragraph dont you?  This is more than I have used the word geeked in my entire life...but...suck it.  Estimated time of arrivial of keeper list: Friday afternoon. 

John John McJohnerson - John got a new ladyfriend since the season ended.  They met, they wooed, they co-habitated, they even have a kid whos like 5 or 6 years old (ok, that last part is somewhat misleading, she brought the kid with her...John doesnt have magical powers that allow him to go back in time and create John Connor so that he can lead the Resistance).  Turns out John has been somewhat busy in the last several months and his keeper list hasnt been on the forefront of his attention.  Estimated time of arrivial of keeper list: Friday night at 11:58 PM.

Zachariah and Tyleriah - I have absolutely no fucking clue what they could be doing that would keep them from getting their lists in.  So, as I do with things when I dont know anything about them, I make shit up.  It is my firm belief that Zach and Tyler are once again fighting, this time over who shall turn their list in second, because... two is a bigger number than one, and is therefore better.  This leads to several awkward conversations around the dinner table where Zach and Tyler's mom and dad look on extremely confused about the Tot lists that T and Z constantly bring up, and the parents want to know why its a big deal on who turns in this "list" first, but are too afraid to ask.  Estimated time of arrivial of keeper list: Zach - Friday, 11:57 PM; Tyler - Friday 11:58 PM.   Sorry Zach, Tyler gets to claim that he is better until the season starts.

Kevin - I got nothing man.  Maybe he is salty pretzel pushing like Mike Trout? Shit...I cant even make up a story.  Actually, I just texted him to ask what his deal is...and he's getting his team in soon, getting keepers by Friday and is planning on being there for the draft, which is all excellent.  It kinda bums me out that I can't make up a story about how Kevin goes to patients at work with his box of Mike Trout's Salty Goodness and pressures them into eating an entire box at a time, but we cant all have what we want all the time, can we?

We interrupt this irregularly scheduled blog post to bring you this very important message:



Actually, its half a Goulet because sometimes a half is better than a none.  And I have only got the time for a half.

 

#4568 – Injuries to favorite players - Every year, there are preseason injuries to key players that end up affecting the course of the entire fantasy season.  This year is lkely to be no different.  With Spring Training starting, it is only a matter of time before one of our big $ keepers ends up blowing an elbow or destroying a knee (I just hope that its someone from Tomsula's team...thats right LC Tomsula.  I am coming for your crown and I have no problems with winning it because a massive number of significant injuries befells your team).  The injury bug has already taken down one of my preseason targets, Jurickson Profar, or as he is called in the Grupe house, Jerkison Profar, who appears to be headed towards missing his second straight full season with a shoulder injury.  For those of you scoring at home, that gives the number of seasons he has missed a slight lead over the number of seasons he has participated in, 2-1.  For the former #1 prospect in all of baseball, it is a big blow as he might never recover the ability he once had (hey Twins fans...isnt Byron Buxton a former #1 prospect in all of baseball who keeps getting hurt?) or he might come back and find his job has been taken by Roughed Odor.  As of right now, the leaders in the "Hes gonna git hurt in ST" death pool - Troy Tulowitzki, because thats what he do; Jose Altuve, because Jon Singleton is going to mistake him for a fun size chocolate elf and eat him; and Adam Wainwright, because God hates beautiful curveballs and because he is on Bob's team...and Bob is a dick.

7 – Crowning the king - I am actually looking forward to the pre draft crispy crowning ceremony.  I have no idea how it will work, but I have visions of giving Tom a large cup full of beer, demanding that he chug it and then placing a bag of tater tots on his head while he kneels.  Then, I take a baseball bat and touch each shoulder lightly like people do in bad movies about early England when they are knighting someone.  Actually...this is exactly how I expect the ceremony will go and I hope that someone takes numerous pictures so that we can post them on this blog and/or use them for blackmail at some point in the future.

6 – Fantasy baseball articles - There is very little that I enjoy more than terribly written or researched fantasy articles.  I'm not particular about the sport, though since I like baseball most, I can pick out the articles that are full of shit much easier.  And there are more than enough crappy articles floating around the interwebs at this time of the year.  I just found a site that talks about "hoping to become your source for tips and strategy for fantasy baseball 2015" but doesnt have a single article linked that is from this year.  There is actually one that is a billed as a list of sleepers for 2013 and includes Evan Gattis.  Thats the whole list.  Evan Gattis.  That is some hard hitting analysis.  I think I am going to bookmark that page and see what other nuggest of wisdom I can get from it. 

5 – Mad Bum - 2014's Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year played Superman to the Royals' General Zod in last year's World Series.  What will he do for an encore?  The potential outcomes range from pulling a Steve Nebraska and striking out every batter he faces while curing cancer and ending world hunger to breaking down in Spring Training from the massive workload he has put on his shoulder/elbow before his 26th birthday.  Either way, the man who married his high school sweetheart and gave her a cow as a wedding present will be quietly entertaining.

4 – The San Diego Ron Burgendys - Has your team been perennially shitty since the Clinton years?  Do you wear an exciting combination of brown and yellow that looks like the dookie someone dropped on Pablo Sandookieval?  Did your infield hit a combine .158/.199/.256 last year (approximate)?  Oh the things that one offseason can do.  Wait...the offseason didnt solve any of these problems? 

They might be competitive, but are in a division with the defending champion Giants and the Dodgers, who have more money than they will ever be able to spend...seriously...$300 million a year from the TV deal alone...(the Rockies barely count anymore unless TuloGit and CarStop are healthy and mashing and the DBacks need a healthy season from Paul Goldschmidt and several minor miracles).  So, even if they are competitive, they are likely chasing a Wild Card berth with the Mets, Marlins and the entire NL Central.  They are still wearing the McDonald's uniforms...and for all of their impressive roster moves they did absolutely nothing to address their putrid infield offense, except get rid of the one player who was actually capable of being a useful player, Everth Cabrera (though Cabrera was slightly worse than Henry Roengartner at the plate last year).  A 5 through 8 lineup that consists of Jedd Jerko, Yonder Alonso, the Yanger Zone and Alexi Amarista scares exactly no one.  Actually, I think that Roengartner could repeatedly get that group out throwing nothing but floaters.  I get that the Padres are the exciting team who made a bunch of moves and got players like Matt Kemp, Justin Upton and Wil Myers (seriously, the more i think about it, the more I like the Myers pick up.  Two years ago Myers was the next coming of Jimmie Foxx and now he was traded for Steven Souza-phone, Tyson Ross's little brother and something called a Trea Turner (actually, Turner is legit.  But how would a sentence meant to look like he was traded for several bags of peanuts look if I included that at least one of the players is a top teir prospect)?  Myers shouldnt be playing CF, but at least he should hit.  If they could teach him to play 3b, maybe their offseason would lead to more than disappointment.  For once, I am invested in how things play out in Saint Diego.

3 – Spring Training Baseball - The possibilities are endless.  The weather is warm.  Guys wearing jerseys with numbers in the 60s and 70s will be hitting and pitching to each other enough that it will convince a bunch of people that one of them is worth bringing up with the big team until he has to face the actual MLB caliber players.  I love ST for the first week...then I just want the games to start.  On a side note, we will finally get a chance to see if guys like Matt Harvey, AJ Griffin and Jarrod Parker are ready to go after an entire year off.  I even promise not to make any reference whatsoever to the guy playing third base for the Yankees...Chase Headley.

2 – We Get Tacos…or whatever comes next - One of the best things about last year was the now famous Rockie promotion of "We Get Tacos" and the Mike Shaw Subaru Super Mo Replay.  With the free trial of MLB Extra Innings on Direct TV (at least, I better get that again), I cant wait to see what goodies some of the other teams have waiting to be discovered.  And if there isnt anything great, we can always fall back on "We Get Tacos."

1 – Rougned Odor and Rougned Odor - In one of the best moves of all time, the Texas Rangers signed Rougned Odor, younger brother of Rougned Odor, this week.  Thats right...the two brothers have the exact same name.  The soon to be 21 year old Odor was the Rangers second baseman much of last year and established himself as decent but not spectacular player.  He was likely to have some stiff competition for the starting job from the aforementioned Profar before Profar broke hisself again.  Now the Rangers' keystone job appears to be all but officially his.  The 17 year old younger Odor is also a middle infielder, so in a coupld of seasons the Rangers might have a full fledged Odor problem in the middle of the diamond (wow that was a terrible pun, but I loved every second of it).  I am not gonna lie, the possibility of an Odor-Odor-Fielder double play happening at some point, even if its spring training, makes me happy in ways that only Garrett Richards and George Springer can top.

39 DAY WARNING - The League is UP!

Well, well, well...Yahoo finally got their collective craps together and got the Fantasy Baseball 2015 up and running.  So, I too have gotten my crap together and set up the league.  It will not let me import player costs until your team is in the league, so I will try to keep up with that.  The 5 teams that are in now have all costs in place.  Please set your keepers here BUT ALSO LET ME KNOW WHAT THEY ARE.  I cannot see anyone's keepers and I would like to be able to get some of the prework done before the draft when I have time to do it so it doesnt get constricting.


Also, trades will not work in the league until after the draft is complete and I enter the rosters.  Which is a problem since trading is open (and we have had our first trade of the "Getting Crispy" Season).  I can manually update the rosters though, so if you agree to a trade, please let me know so that I can make sure everything is in line before we get to draft night.


Real MLB has the Hot Stove League season, which always involves a lot excitement (this year especially if you were a San Diego Padre fan...well...if there were any San Diego Padre fans) and mucho trading.  In the Tater Tot league, were going to call the Feb 1 through March 1 the Getting Crispy Season, hopefully it will have a lot of the same excitement and maybe someone will trade away the farm.

The first ever Gettin Crispy trade was relayed to me on the first day trading was open:

BySs gets 2b Jose "How Many" Altuves ($20) and OF Nelson Cruz ($8)
The Attack of the Zack (TAOTZ) gets 1b Anthony Rizzo ($20) and OF Justin Upton ($34)

Rizzo has officially become the town bicycle, which is strange because he has the high OBP/SLG stats that play perfectly in a league like this one and his AVG wont ill you (like license to ill, bitches).  Put him in a lineup where people actually get on base occasionally and you have a guy who is going to be very helpful in 4 categories, be a net average in a 5th and pretty much completely useless in the 6th, SBs...but really, arent almost all 1b not named Paul Goldschmidt pretty useless in stolen bases?

Had Rizzo been traded straight up for Altuve, I probably would have called this trade a draw (and I hate doing that).  Altuve was the best offensive 2b in baseball last season behind his .341/377/453 slash line and 56 steals.  Altuve was the better, and more well rounded player last year, but he has some red flags coming into 2015 as 2014 was by far the best year of his career to date in every possible hitting category.  If his average comes down to his career norms, he will still be a very valuable player, just not the potential top 5 fantasy player that he was last year.

The inclusion of Cruz and Upton confuses me.  Cruz is coming off a season where he led the majors in HRs, finished 4th in RBI and managed respectable avg and obp stats (271/333/525)...he is changing teams (again!) but for a bargain price of $8 he can fall off hard and still turn a profit.  If Cruz is able to hit 249/310/457 (which is what Steamer is currently projecting for him) this year hitting in a surprisingly loaded Seattle lineup, he should be a startable player...and if he isnt, $8 isnt a crazy amount to have spent on the chance he repeats last season. 

Upton at $34 is another story.  With his move to a park that heavily favors pitching and surpresses power hitters at a near historic rate, Upton looks poised to take a step back from his 270/342/491 line.  Even though the Padres have what is expected to be the most improved offense in baseball and Upton's RBI and run scoring chances should go up, the home field home run loss should offset some of that gain.  Steamer, which is notorious for its low projections, posits that Upton will finish 2015 with a 253/337/442 line, which...looks very similar to the line it predicts for Cruz.  Why then the Cruz love and the Upton hate?  Well, one, Upton leaving his brother behind in Hotlanta eliminates the relevancy of my favorite meme of all time (can one have favorite memes?  Cuz I feel like a dbag for saying that I have a favorite one when I only can think of like 4 that I have ever seen), and two, the $26 price difference between them is a lot (some players who cost $26 last year...Madison Bumgarner, Jordan Zimmerman, Greg Holland, Garret Cole).

Anyways, BySs gets the carrot in this one.    BYSS >>>> TAOTZ

43 day warning

Warning...warning... the fantasy draft is a mere 43 days away.

With that, heres a rough timeline of events.


Feb 1 - The roster freeze will be lifted and trades may be made.  There will be no moves for any free agents.  Supposedly the Yahoo Baseball game will be up and running as of today, so I will try to get the league set up as soon as I can.  But for now, the plan is to have trades reported to me so that I can make the proper roster adjustments.  For a trade to become official, I need both/all sides to tell me about it.  I dont think that will be an issue because most of you have my phone number.  The ones who dont -- Bob can tell me because I see him pretty much daily and Tyler..well Tyler will need to get my number from Zach and text me.  I know that there has been as least 1 trade floating around for the past couple of weeks...so...nows

Feb 14 - Its Valentine's Day...take your special lady (or, for some of you, man) out and do something nice for him/her that doesnt involve chicken wings or as much as you can drink for $5.

Feb 28 @ 11:59 PM - keepers are due.  There is no reason to miss this, but if you do...remember that you will keep the 10 highest paid players on your roster as keepers.  Rosters are once again frozen at this point.

March 13 @ 5 PM - The draft weekend officially starts.  I am not sure who all is planning on coming down (or up, or over) Friday night, but all are welcome to come and watch basketball, play video games, stay up way too late and basically recall what it was like during Freshman and Sophomore year of college.

March 14 @ 2 4 PM - The auction will officially start with the crispy crowning of last year's champion, new coach of the San Francisco 49ers Tomsula.  After that we will vote on the items up for debate and then we will kick off the auction.  Auction order will be the order of finish from last year.  So Tom will get to put the first player up. 

If there is any issue with this time, please let me know.  I wanted to make it early enough so that if people want to get home, they can before it gets too late.  I also wanted to make sure that Kyler hasnt drank so much Fleshmen's that he forgets where he is and what he is doing and ends up with Jean Segura on his team.  Actually...revise that time.

For the auction - I am planning on creating lists of players by position for all 10 of us so that we are all working off the same list for ease of knowing if a player has been auctioned yet.  These lists will include the starters at each position and the entire rotation and bullpen for each team.  There may be stats included, I'm not sure yet.  There will not be any bench guys or minor league players, so if you are planning trying to get a couple or think someone will come on strong off the pine, you will need to know that or have another list or something.  You can bring other lists or books (or Bob might try to bring a friend from one of his big $$$$ leagues), but the main list will be the one you are expected to keep up with.  There will be some kind of punichment for trying to auction off a player who has been auctioned already.  I dont know what it is, but it will likely be something stupid that will make you look worse than trying to auction off someone who was already auctioned looked.

If there are any questions, let me know.  and get those keepers in.

Changes for 2015

For those of you who are observant, you already noticed that a page was added (its over on the right side) that says Changes for 2015.  I had my creative name juices flowing today.  These are things that need to be voted on AT THE DRAFT.

As noted there, I will be voting on them, and any tie will be broken by Tom's vote as the defending champion.

One thing will be changing, and there isnt a damn thing anyone can do about it.  Waiver claims will now be processed on Thursday mornings instead of Tuesdays.  For one, it lets me spread the week out a bit more since having recaps and waivers on the first two days of the week makes things really hectic for me.  Secondly, it should help with some of the issues of having a player get injured on a Tuesday and then being without a guy for basically 2 weeks.  If a player gets hurt on a Saturday, you are still going a week without a replacement, but the waiver line has to be drawn somewhere...and Thursday is that place.


Things that will be voted on:

1) Should we add another DL spot? 
The rationale - Last season, people got hit with a rash of injuries, and several of us ended up releasing players simply because we did not have enough healthy bodies to field lineups.  Adding a DL spot will allow us to keep the injured player and pick up a replacement, and then decide who to keep when both players are again healthy. 
The downside - Injuries forced people to drop useable players, which led to several of us getting good deals on players we otherwise wouldnt have gotten good deals on.  Also, injuries are part of the game.
Voting options - Yes; No
Effective - 2015 season

2) Should we add another BN roster spot?
The rationale - Similar to the DL spot, it would allow us to carry another player in case of an injury to our starter that does not allow us to pick up a replacement before rosters need to be set for the following week.
The downside - this takes 10 more players out of the waiver pool, so there would be fewer players available when you do go looking for an injury replacement
Voting options - Yes; No
Effective - 2015 season

3) Should we add the ability to include cash in in-season trades?
The rationale - This would allow teams who are out of the playoff hunt to sell off their players for the future.
The downside - Someone could conceivably trade away all of their future budget and then bail on the league, making it pretty much impossible to find another person to take over their team.
Voting options - Yes, from following season's draft budget; Yes, from current season's FAAB;  Yes, from following season's draft budget but with a limit TBD; No
Effective - After the start of the 2015 MLB season

4) Should we allow players who finish the season in the NA spot, who have not been in MLB at any time during the year, to be carried to the next year without being counted as 1 of the 10 keepers?(Their salary would still count towards the following year's total).
The rationale - This would give the league more of a dynasty feel.  Prospects who are not in MLB after the 40 man expansion in September are usually a bit further away from the Bigs, and keeping them seperate from the 10 person keeper would allow us to carry players for multiple seasons but continue to spend on them and force us to choose to use a spot on them once they reach the Bigs or let them go.  Right now, there is little incentive to use the NA spots other than to park guys we hope will be up at the end of the season.  This would give us a larger pool to pick from.
The downside - Some of us are better than others at paying attention to the minor leagues and could get an advantage by carrying a AA soon to be stud SS (Addison Russell anyone?) for cheap and getting to keep 10 other players.
Voting options - Yes; Yes - but only 1 of the 2 NA spots; No


If there are any others that you would like to see added, please let me know.