Week 9 ass hDles - I cant quit you, baby

I may be addicted to Sweedish Fish.  When I walk into a Kwik Trip for any reason, it is almost a primordial urge to walk over to that section of the store and take that yellow bag full of little, red, deliciously chewy herring dopelgangers off the post where it hangs.  I know they arent good for me, and they certainly arent doing my weight any favors (not that I am looking to lose a bunch of weight or anything like that, but bags of gummy candy arent exactly celery sticks), but they are so ridculously mouth watering that I cannot resist.  A bag rarely lasts more than an hour.  I am to the point where I sometimes hope that the store is out of them when I go so that I dont have to try to summon the willpower to leave the store without them (and I am able to do it most of the time, I just stare at the fishes for a minute or two and then tell myself no, sometimes out loud, and walk away.  And no, I have never gotten any silly looks from other KT patrons, why do you ask?).

I have a feeling that Dusty and Zach feel that way about our two ass HDLes this week.  Both are name brand, MLB award winning players who had a lot of buzz around them coming into the season, who have struggled mightily.  Both players have such a great talent level that you dont want to take them out of the lineup in case that is the week that they turn things around, yet both have been seriously hurting their fantasy (and real life) teams by remaining in the lineup.  So finally, at least for the next couple of weeks, Dusty can quit Wil Myers and Zach can quit Carlos Gonzalez.

OF Wil Myers-
After hitting 293/354/478 with 13 HRs in 88 games and winning the American League rookie of the year award last season and being one of the most hyped super prospects in the last 10 years, Myers came into his second season with extremely high expectations.  Dusty paid $33 for him at auction, right in line with guys like Justin Upton ($35), Giancarlo Stanton ($34), and Carlos Gomez ($34).  Oops.  Myers hit the DL on May 31st with a stress fracture in his right wrist that will sideline him for at least 2 months.  He takes his 227/313/354 slash line  in 53 gameswith him.  Last season Myers OPSed 32% better than the league average, this year he is 11% under  His strikeout rate looks similar and he is walking more often, but his BABIP is 80 points lower than last year and his line drive rate is down as well.  Simply put, Myers is getting a bit unlucky with balls finding holes, but he is not helping by not hitting the ball hard.  He has been particularly bad over the last 2 weeks, hitting 118/360/294, but Dusty has started him every week thus far.  On Dusty's bench as a replacement sits Josh Willingham, who has hit 333/552/727 in those same last 2 weeks.  Myers injury gives Dusty the reason to remove the name brand Myers and put in Willingham, who actually is hitting.  Great, that is just what the rest of us need, another good hitter in Dusty's lineup.


OF Carlos Gonzalez
So award winning might be a stretch...he did win a Silver Slugger and finish 3rd in the MVP voting in 2010..so theres that.  What he has done is hit 20+ HRs and steal 20+ bases in each of the last 4 seasons all while hitting .295 or better.  CarGo always has injury concerns, but this season feels different than the last 4.  Gonzalez hit the DL on Wednesday with "left pointer finger inflammation."  I have played a lot of baseball, I have even played with jammed and broken fingers that would definitely fall under the 'inflammation' category and it has never taken multiple weeks for this to heal.  To me, it sounds like a convenient reason to get him out of the lineup for a couple of weeks and hope it clears his head.  CarGo is nearly halfway to his PA total from a year ago, when he was one of the best hitters in the National League (OPS+ 144 with a 302/367/591 slash), yet he is only hitting 255/307/449 for an OPS+ of 95.  The past 2 weeks have been particularly atrocious (091/200/227).  Part of that is injury, but I cannot help but think another factor is something else that isnt being disclosed. Baseball is a funny sport like that.  Once things start going badly, they can compound quickly.  For someone as good as CarGo, they usually dont but that doesnt mean they never will.  We have seen streaky CarGo before, but Gonzalez is playing so poorly right now that he has a -0.4 WAR according to Baseball Reference, meaning that the Rockies would be better off playing a AAA replacement player so far this season.  Zach was able to get all this amazing offensive production for a mere $60 at auction, aka tied for the 4th most money paid for a single player this season.  Probably not what he was hoping for.   Getting him out of the lineup and replacing him with Shin-Soo Choo and his 275/414/434 slash will only make the ZAttack better.

I couldnt care less about the Myers situation as I have no vested interest in him or the Rays, but the CarGo down slide hurts.  I have mentioned before that I am all in on the 2014 Rox, but I have been a huge fan of CarGo since he was coming up in the Diamondbacks system as a 19 year old.playing in the Single A Midwest league and I saw him against the Kane County Cougars (the local minor league team by where I grew up).  He was so much better than everyone else it was ridiculous...like they had let a Major Leagure come down and play with Single A...or what I imagine a minor league rehab assignment looks like, only CarGo was only 19.  I am sure that he will bounce back and be the world beating hitting machine that he is, I am just not ready or willing to put a time frame on that.

Anyways, enjoy the weekend.


OOOOH one more thing...Our anonymous German friend continues to visit us about 3 times a week, which I think qualifies him or her as an actual follower of the blog, making us Bi-national.  And for that we say "Thanks friend".  I would still love if he or she would leave a comment, but I understand if he or she doesnt.  This week, we got a hit from the Ukraine.  We will see if the Ukrainian comes back and we can hit multinational status.

The Retaking of Thursday - aka Taken 2

As you probably remember, last week I laid a big ole fat egg in the memory department when it came to sending out the questions for Taking Back Thursday.  So, to make sure that I didnt have that happen again, I enlisted the assistance of Liam Neeson, or at least I tried to.  DId you know that there is not a single Liam Neeson app available in the IStore?
 I mean really, how many people would pay $2 or $4 to have an app that lets you set calendar items or send out texts using quotes from Liam Neeson movies?  You set an alarm and Liam Neeson yells out at the prescribed time "Wake up! I need you to be focused!  Are you focused yet?"  Or you set a security password on your phone and someone unsuccessfully tries to guess the passcorde and you get, "I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my phone go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you."  SERIOUSLY?!? Who would not buy that, put in on their phone, enjoy it for 12.3 minutes and then completely forget about it? We're sitting on a fucking gold mine Trebek.

The Pen Is Mightier

The first Thursday that was retaken featured Kyler, someone I know fairly well, trust enough to hold my kids and like enough to have him come and watch a softball game here and there (the real reason he came to watch was his girlfriend wanted to see her neices and my wife was terrified at the thought of taking 2 kids out in public while I was busy doing something.  Kyler did not count on seeing the worst performance by an actual good softball team in the history of organized sports.  Yep, sports fans, my team, which has been in the top division in Rochester for 5+ years, got shut out, bageled, in a slow pitch mens softball game.  We didnt even hit through the order twice.  I felt much shame). 

For this week's reclaimation of Thursday, I went with someone who I would be able to stand next to for hours on end and never know that I was next to someone in our league.  Zach is Kyler's old roommate and he used to wear the purple and yellow of the Rolling Meadows Mustangs.  On with 7 questions in heaven.



This might actually be Zach...

1) I literally know like 3 things about you. Your name is Zach, you grew up in Rolling Meadows and you lived with Kyler. Who are you? Why are you here? Where are you going? What are you going to do when you get there?

-Well I'm Zach and I've grown up in Rolling Meadows for my entire life. I played football all through my life until I got to college but unfortunately never played baseball. But I am a life long Cubs fan and will always be a die-hard fan as well. I am here because I love baseball and love following baseball stats. I pretty much know too much about baseball and the players, I know almost all of the prospects and know their strengths and weaknesses. Since I am a huge baseball fan and love stats its almost a given that I would do fantasy baseball. I'm majoring in Business Administration and I just have one more year left of school. If I could choose any job it would be to work in the front office in baseball. Doing anything in the business side of it would be my dream job. if I was able to land that job and live my dream, I'm going to relish every moment of it.


2) Shampoo or Conditioner?
 

· I'm gonna go with shampoo. You can use that stuff as body wash, face wash and it cleans your hair. Its like a multi purpose cleaner, but that might be just me.

(ed note--someone did not watch nearly enough Billy Madison growing up.)

 

3) Over under on the Cubbies winning a World Series...your death? Explain.

This guy has man crush potential written all over him.  In 10 years,
there are going to be 294,838 kids named Kris in Chicagoland.

· This is an easy one I'm going under. My prediction is the Cubs will win the World Series by 2017 or 2018. My explanation, they got Javy Baez and Kris Bryant. But really its because their farm system is top 5 in the majors right now and in some peoples opinion it might be the 2nd best only behind the Twins. Javier Baez can destroy the ball and he will be up sometime this year and should make a huge push for a starting spot next year and Kris Bryant is absolutely killing it in Double-A, he’s got 18 home runs and can be a perennial all star in the majors within the next couple years. But besides those 2 they already have Castro and Rizzo. The only thing they need to do is to improve the pitching but they will have the hitters. How can you not love a lineup with Castro, Rizzo, Baez, Bryant, Albert Almora and hopefully Jorge Soler if he can stay healthy.

(ed note-- I am 100% with you on this...but we might be dilussional Cubs fans who have been beaten into submission so many times that when hope is dangled in front of us we latch on with the strength of BIll Kazmaier.  I look at that lineup and I cannot help but see that Baez, Bryant and Soler will likely be pushing each other for the same 2 corner OF spots)
 

4) Were you actually a fan of Saved by the Bell or are you completely uncultured? Favorite Non Kelly Kapowski character (everyone would pick Kelly...everyone)?

· Of course how can you not like Saved by the Bell, but truthfully I always liked Boy Meets World a little bit better. And favorite character, that’s an easy one Zach Morris.

5) What needs to happen in order fofr the ZAttach to win the Golden Cripsy Crowns?

Zach thinks Owings is key to his success

· I am hopefully going to win the Golden Crispy Crown. But man do I need my offense to start hitting well. I need my catcher to finally hit (Salavdor Perez or Mike Zunino) and for Chris Owings to hit too. My pitching just needs to continue to dominate. I'm picking it up though, I started off slow but I feel like I've been gradually getting better and as the year goes on Ortiz’s numbers should get better and as Manny Machado continues to get healthier I feel like he’ll hit better. But most of all my players need to stop getting hurt (Matt Cain). Its like every week one person comes off the DL then 2 go back on it. With a healthy team I think I can start to win more.

6) Did you mean to win Nelson Cruz at auction or was that a happy accident? After you won him, did you expect him to be a starter every week? Will you be naming one of your children Nelson?

· Yes I definitely meant to win Nelson Cruz. I didn’t think he’d be any where near this good but I figured he’d be a pretty good back up. When I saw I could get him for $4, there was no way o could pass that up. And after I got him I didn’t even start him for the first few weeks, I think it took an injury for me to actually put him in and after that he has not left that lineup. And if he wins me the crown I will consider the name Nelson. Lets hope Nelson Cruz hears about this and he knows if he wins me the whole thing I might name my kid after him.

 

7) Did you play sports growing up? Which ones? Favorite boyhood baseball player and why?

· And I actually never played baseball growing up. I played basketball for a few years but football was the sport I loved. I played from 2nd grade all the way through high school. I even played with Jimmy Garoppolo, the 2nd rounder of the Patriots my Junior year of high school. And my favorite baseball player growing up was Ken Griffey Jr. I wish I could say it was a Cubs player but come on they only ever had Sosa and as we all know now he used steroids and corked his bat. Griffey was just a beast, his swing man that has to be the smoothest and most sweet thing to see. He could crush a homerun and then rob a homerun the next inning. He could honestly do it all and if he never got hurt he would probably be one of the best all time players. When I was younger playing whiffle ball I’d try to bat like Griffey all the time. He’s just gotta be the player that sticks out the most to me while I was growing up.

Thanks Zach. That JR Griffey sure did show up big in the Mariners-Twins series at the end of Little Big League when homered to give the M's the lead late in the game and then he robbed Lou Collins of a home run to end the game after manager Billy Heywood told Collins that if he took the Big Unit deep then he could marry Billy's mom.  Solid choice.

Week 10 waivers - The answer is 42.

42. It's not just the number that is retired by every team in Major League Baseball, or the product of 6 x 7 or how many Altuves tall I am.  It is also the answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything.  In the Hitchhicker's Guide to the Galaxy, a group of super intelligent beings develop a computer to tell them the meaning of life.  It takes millions of years to compute and verify the answer, 42, which it then spits out.  When the beings ask how it can be true, the computer replies that it has "checked it very thoroughly, and that quite definitely is the answer. I think the problem, to be quite honest with you is that you've never actually known what the question was."

In fantasy baseball, we think we know what the question is, but we don't know the answer.  The question, "How do we fill our weekly lineups with the correct pieces so that we have the maximum chance at winning each week?" seems simple enough.  But in baseball and football, Americans have spent millions of dollars and read millions of articles on different strategies.  So many, that should the current iteration of the human race disappear and a new dominant species take over the planet or an alien race disguised as mice who are using Earth as a giant lab experiment comes to (or stays) in power, that new species might think that fantasy sports was one of the main political methods used by our civilization.  But really, that question I listed is not a great one, and it provides only further questioning.  Perhaps, as fantasy players, we are asking ourselves the wrong question when looking at our lineups and making changes to our rosters.  I am not saying that I know what the right question is, because if I did I certainly would not be sharing it on a blog read by about 6 people, but maybe there is a better way...
But almost every time we figure out what we think the way to win in fantasy sports is, new circumstances are introduced that change the answer.  I dont think that we will ever know the right question to ask in order to find the ultimate answer because there is no ultimate answer, only answers which help us get through the current week or day and onto the next set of challenges presented to us which will require new answers and new lines of thinking.

The proceeding paragraphs can also be applied to life, by the way. 

In the book, the super intelligent beings have the super computer devise a new program to find the ultimate question.  The computer creates the Earth, which is supposed to use a computational matrix that will come up with the question in 10 million years, but 5 minutes before the result is given, Earth is destroyed, leaving the question unanswered.

On to the waivers.  There were 7 taco granting transactions this week, 3 of which were adds of prospects (we will save the prospects for last).


RP Dellin Betances - $3 - You Can Call Me Al (aka Dazzy Vance and the No Pants Dance) - No Drop


So Betances is not only a member of Project Mayhem, he might just be Tyler Fricken Durden.  Look at the stats.  56 strikeouts.   9 walks (0.73 WHIP).  15 hits allowed (.135 oav).  All in 32 innings.  HE IS STRIKING OUT 1.75 BATTER PER INNING!!!!   I have kicked around a Betances add for the last several weeks, but I havent been able to pull the trigger because I couldnt figure out who to drop.  Now I will likely be kicking myself.  Also, it looks as though Uncle Jimmy's quest to acquire ever bad Chicago closer may be on temporary haitus?

Betances made Rizzo swing at a pitch that hit him in the leg.  Then to prove it wasnt a fluke...he did it again.

Jones is another former Twin doing well
elsewhere.

1b/OF Garrett Jones - $1 - Lester the Molester - Drop SP/RP Hector Santiago
Santiago was demoted to AAA back on May 21st with a sparkling 0-6 record in 9 appearances (7 starts).  Even if he comes back to the bigs this year, pretty much everyone is a better option.  Garrett Jones is a great source of power when he is in the lineup...and this year he has started 53 of the Marlins 57 games at first base.  With Jones though, the average and on base skills are what some might call...horseshit... so you take the good with the bad.  There are worse players out there, but there are better ones too.

OF Leonys Martin - $1 - Les Moles - No Drop
Martin can run (11 SB), and it seems like Tom loves that type of player (Hey EY Jr!).  Martin, like EY Jr, has marginal on base skills and is not a great source of power.  Now, we arent talking Ben Revere and his 1 career home run type power, but we are talking that if Martin hits over 10 home runs this year people are going to be lining up to test him for everything from steriods to deer antler spray.  Again, if Martin is on your team, he wont kill you.  But his skill set is available in players who offer more than what Martin brings to the table.  Then again, maybe I am thinking about it all wrong and Martin fits a plan that Tom has.

SP Ryan Vogelsong - $1 - Huckleberries - Drop SP AJ Burnett
Oh how long ago last season and how far away Pittsburgh must seem for AJ Burnett.  At 36 years old last season, Burnett turned in one of the best seasons of his mostly solid career, then contemplated retirement and ultimately chased the money to Philadelphia.  I am sure that you cant really have an oops that ends with you getting paid $16 million, but if you could, I think AJ would qualify.  His strikeouts are down, his walks are up (he is currently leading the league in walks)...basically, hes eminently droppable.  Vogelsong had a rough start to the year that peaked when he was Tulowitzkied in Colorado on April 21st.  Since then, he has made 7 starts (5 quality) and given up a total of 10 runs.  He is still a pitch to contact guy, so he always has a blow up lurking around the corner, but he should be solid more often than not.

And now the prospects:
SP Alex Meyer - $2 - MWP Masters - Drop 1b/OF Mark Trumbo

I am pretty sure Meyer would have to run around in a shower to get wet.

I feel like I am being very negative today.  I really cant tell you why John would have hung on to Trumbo through pretty much the entirety of his injury rehab only to dump him with less than 2 weeks until he is back.  John?  Raekwon?  Anyone?  I can tell you that Meyer is the most exciting pitching prospect that the Twins have outside of Kohl Stewart who is currently throwing in the single A Midwest League.  Meyer came to the Twins in the Denard Span deal and brought with him a whole bushel of strikeouts.  Meyer walks a few too many guys for the Twins liking, but his strikeout numbers should have him in the major leagues in short order, and he will provide something that Twins fans havent seen since Johan Santana...a pitcher that other teams actually dont want to face.  Basically, he is the bizzaro Brad Radke.

SS Francisco Lindor - $1 - MWP Masters - Drop OF Domonic Brown
YOU FINALLY DID IT JOHN!!!!  I am not sorry to see Domonic Brown and his 206/263/312 slash line get tossed to the scrap heap.  It was actually reaching the point where I was actively feeling bad for you that you kept starting him.  Now watch him go on a 15 homer binge in June...(he hit 12 last May on his way to 27 for the year).  Dont be drawn back in John...its like a bad girlfriend, you know how it will end...  Lindor, on the other hand, is a top 10 prospect according to pretty much everyone.  A lot of that is based on his glove, which many call the best in the minor leagues and would be second only to Andrealton Simmons in the bigs RIGHT NOW, but his bat has its merrits as well.  He should provide decent batting average with solid OBP and below average slugging, but with decent speed.  And his defense will give him a very very very long leash in the lineup.  He is currently in AA, but it should only be a matter of time before he is the Indians every day SS.  Also...Lindor Truffels would be an excellent new name.

OF Joc Pederson - $1 - MB Hitless Bastards - Drop SP./RP Garrett Richards

Yes Richards just imploded and turned in the worst stat line of the league so far this season, but I would bet that he will not be on the waiver wire long.  Pederson is hitting (337/447/620) with 15 HRs and 13 SBs so far this season in AAA for the Dodgers.  He is an unbelieveable power/speed prospect, but he plays for the Dodgers and they currently employ 4 gentlemen (Puig, Kemp, Either, Crawford) to play their OF who happen to have extremely large paychecks coming to them.  This is purely a long term play as I pretty much have wet dreams about an OF of Springer, Taveras and Joc...all for the keeper cost of a combined $16.  Also a bonus, Robot Jocs.  Are you kidding me??? I should have just lead with that.

Till Thursday, goodbye, and thanks for all the fish.

Week 9 - Nearly Half Baked

Nine weeks in the books.  Week 22 marks the end of the season.  As crazy as it is to think about, the fantasy pennant races are starting to heat up and the contenders are starting to seperate from the also-rans.  In our league, there is much greater chance to move in the standings from week to week than in a standard league, but by now teams talent levels are reflected in their records.  There is always to chance that injuries (MWP) can decimate a team's chances but by and large, the players are who they are at this point.  We are seeing Dee Gordon, Brian Dozier and Mars Blackmon come crashing back to Earth while even Troy Tulowitzski is cooling off.  Yasiel Puig, Edwin Encarnacion and Nelson Cruz are going through a tremendous hot streak right now that their teams are riding, but this type of player is an outlier at this point in the season.  Obviously there will be swings from week to week, but it is becoming increasingly unlikely that, outside of a rookies who are called up, the players banished on the waiver wire will suddenly become super stars.

 

Basically, I am expecting there to be some tweaking and some tinkering via the waiver wire, but I would love to see some trades start flying.  Strangely, there have been only 2 trades so far in this league, and both were in the first couple of weeks before the season even really started.  Come on all you arm chair GMs, there have got to be players on other teams that you can use and there have got to be players you can stand to let go.  Remember, you can only keep 10 players.  If there is someone on the Hitless Bastards that you are interested in, inquire.  Everyone is available.  The price on some might be higher than the price on others, but there is not a single guy on my team who is a deal breaker.

A couple of things to remember when offering trades:

1) A guy isnt worth more just because he is on your team.  He is who he is.

2) If you want a star player, be prepared to give up something significant to get him.

3) If someone says no, leave it be.

4) If someone offers you something, get back to them (sorry Kevin - I will text you back soon.  Life kind of got in the way there for a bit)  There is nothing more frustrating than not having your offer responded to.

5) Remember this is a dynasty league-- When you trade for a player, you also get their salary if you want to keep them.  If you can swing a deal for a super star player while giving up prospects, great for you, but you would keep the super star at the salary he was given at auction, not the salary of the prospects you are giving up.  -- This is one of the things I love about dynasty leagues.  You can salvage a down season by giving up someone great for some prospects if you dont see them fitting in to your long term plans or their salary is too high to justify keeping them.  Just like real life.

 

 

 

Week 9 Recaps

Dustys Nustys (60-43-5) 9
Huckleberries (41-62-5) 3

Attacking the Huckleberries ratios.  Thats Jim Johnson on the left,
Nathan on the right and Dickey in the middle.

Dusty came into this week in 3rd place in the Bone Thugs division, but now sits atop not only the division, but also the overall standings, thanks to his 9-3 victory.  Per usual, the Nustys won 5 of the 6 hitting categories (they have yet to win in the SB category this season, but have won the AVG, OBP and SLG categories 8 out of 9 times each), but also managed to lock down 4 of the pitching categories as well this week.  There were a couple of chinks in the offensive armor for the Nustys this week as Chris Davis (.080/115/080), Ian Kinsler (111/111/185) and even Troy Tulowitzki (150/182/150) came crashing back to Earth this week, but Mike Trout (444/478/611) and Joey Bats (458/567/750 were able to keep the team afloat.  The Huckleberry offense was hampered by the injury to Prince Fielder (no back up 1b) and the set back to Josh Hamilton who was supposed to be back in the lineup last week before a bone bruise in his hand.  Those holes left KP with only 6 hitters, one of them was Jimmy Rollins (156/270/156) and another was Adam Jones (200/188/300), who pulled off the incredibly difficult to do feat of having a lower OBP than batting average.  When you are already short handed, you cannot afford terrible weeks from supposedly good players like Jones.  On the bump, KP got great efforts from Jason Hammel (0.00 ERA, 0.57 WHIP, 8K, 1W) and Kyle Lohse (2.30 ERA, 0.77 WHIP, 11K, 1W) but his ratios were torpedoed by the Cerberus of Jim Johnson (18.00 ERA, 3.00 WHIP), Joe Nathan (18.00 ERA, 3.00 WHIP) and RA Dickey (9.00 ERA, 2.20 WHIP).  In addition, Dusty's pitching staff finally showed up this week, with Francisco Liriano, Fatolo Colon and Tiny Timmy Lincecum all turning in 0.00 ERAs this week and Colon, Lincecum and Phil Hughes all producing sub 0.87 WHIPs.


MB Hitless Bastards (60-44-4) 7
Bob's AutoTrackers (59-44-5)  5

This was supposed to be the matchup for first place, as Bob's ATers came into the week with a 1.5 game lead over the Hitless Wonders, but then Dusty happened.  For Bob, the loss drops him from first overall to 4th, his lowest spot in several weeks.  Bob's offense was led by the legs of Dee Gordon (4 SB, too bad for Bob he cant hit water in a floating boat right now) and the bat of Edwin Encarnacion.  Encarnacion (417/548/1125 9R 10RBI) is basically walking up to the plate right now, yelling out to the pitcher, "It puts the lotion on its skin or I hits a home run again", then actually following through when the pitcher tries to kill his dog instead of using the lotion.  Hes one crazy MFer, that Edwin Encarnacion.  Also for Bob, despite hitting a grand slam, Brandon Moss finished the week with only 5 RBI.  A couple of the Hitless Bastards lived up to their name, as recent pick up Brian Dozier (103/161/207) and David Wright (182/250/303) struggled while #SpringerDinger (321/424/750) continued his assault on American League pitching, Communism and Dolph Lundgren.  On the pitching side for the ATers, Yordano Ventura (16.88 ERA, 3.75 WHIP) got lit up by Springer and the Astros and Adam Wainwright (14.54 ERA, 2.08 WHIP) finally allowed runs to someone other than the Cubbies, leading to Bob's 5.07 team ERA for the week.  MBHB got stellar outings from Felix Hernandez, Madison Baumgarner, Justin Verlander and Michael Wacha (all WHIPs under 0.78), but the real story was Garrett Richards.  Every single hitter that Richards retired this week was done so via strikeout.  Unfortuantely, he only got 2 guys out, leading to the highest ERA (67.50) and highest WHIP (12.00) that I can recall of anyone in the league this year who wasnt an injured Closer for one of the Chicago baseball clubs (and owned by Uncle Jimmy at the time).


MWP Masters (47-58-3)           7
You Can Call Me Al (52-52-4) 5

LURCH!!!

MWP finally gets back on track, this week, behind the strength of their pitching staff as John's squad won 5 of the 6 pitching categories.  Kamakaze Tanaka, Hyun-jin Ryu, and Johnny Cueto combined for 4 wins, 5 QS, 30 K and all posted week long WHIPs under 0.98.  They were joined by John Lackey (LURCH!) striking out 8 over 6 1/3 shutout innings and 5 combined saves from Kenley Jansen and Joakim Soria (sorry KRod, no saves for you).  UCCMA, on the other hand, had 5 pitchers with WHIPs over 1.50 and got Huston Street saves on Friday and Saturday afternoon to earn a win in the saves + holds category or they would have been skunked with the arms.  At the dish, UCCMA used YoEnis!'s big Saturday (5 RBI) to win the RBI category by 4.  Cespedes was otherwise terrible this week (3 for 26 if you take out Saturday).  For John, Tacoby Bellsbury's 4 SB helped the Masters eek out that category this week while Alexei Ramirez, Pedro Alvarez and Ellsbury posted OBPs over .400 for MWP to overcome the .500 OBP put up by TMGS for UCCMA.

Lester the Molester (41-63-4)                                  7
Merry Tyler's Moor Traveling All Stars (49-52-7) 5


Pitcher's best friend this week.

Most of the time, I can look at the stats and they make sense to me.  The stats from this matchup do not.  Les Moles registered 10 quality starts this week, dominating that category as MTMTAS had only 5.  Those 10 quality starts for Tom turned into exactly 3 wins while Tyler's 5 starts all turned into wins and he got another from the bullpen to take the wins category 6-3.  That just further proves that wins are fickle, or maybe that going 6 innings and giving up 3 runs or less might not be the best barometer of what makes a good start.  Anyways, Tom won 4 of the 6 hitting categories despite having 3 of the 4 worst hitters in the matchup.  Ian Desmond (059/238/235), Joey Mauer (167/194/200 -- when he hits like a 8 year old, he's Joey, not Joe), and Adrian Gonzalez (190/346/238) were bailed out by Josh Donaldson (393/469/857 7R 12RBI) and Andrew McCutchen (333/467/542) while MTMAS couldnt overcome Starling Marte's 120/241/160 week.



Week 9 MSSSMRMoW

A former roommate battle is week 9's
Mike Shaw Subaru Super Mo Replay Matchup of the Week

Being roommates with someone forces an interesting relationship to develop.  On one hand, you have the comraderie that comes with living under the same roof, spending large amounts of time together doing mostly stupid and unproductive things like playing video games or drinking or playing video games while drinking (and we're talking about boys here, because, well...we are all boys.  No one understands what girls do in their free time anyways because most of them dont play video games).  On the other hand you have the feelings of animosity that creep up because you have to rely on someone else to do their share of the cleaning, to pick up after themselves and pay their share of the utilities and rent.  Since we are boys, if one of the roomates isnt doing their share, we generally dont say much, we just let it go until it boils over into some kind of shouting match, which turns into more video games and more beers and then all is forgiven.  Again, with these things and girls, it usually leads to one of them moving out or the refusal to acknowledge that the other exists, sometimes for months on end.

Quick tangent - I have had my share of spectacular roommate stories, from the time that I came home to a message on the answering maching (yes, we had land line phone service while I was in college...I am that old) with the caller identifing herself as from the US Government looking for my roommate because his dad had appearantly stolen his identity and was using it to rack up some pretty significant debt on credit cards in his name (no idea if it really was the government...when I asked him about it later he denied knowing anything about it and the message on the machine was gone) to the time that my roommates and I made 23 gallons of WOP in plastic tubs and I ended up cutting off a piece of my thumb and duck taping it back on and acting like nothing happened.  But the best roommate story I have is the one where the roomie I mentioned earlier had moved out and we were looking for a new one to sublease.  This seemingly normal guy called, came and saw the place, paid the rest of the lease (3 months) up front and promised to pay utilities.  About 2 weeks later (neither me nor my roommate Nick had really talked to this guy much in that 2 weeks), there is a knock on the door at like 11pm.  We had a side entrance which was never locked, and everyone who would be coming at 11pm knew this, so I went to the door with a baseball bat in hand, peaked out the window and saw 5 of Winona's Finest staring back at me.  I quickly tossed the bat aside and opened the door.  The cops informed me that the new roomie had called 911 and promptly hung up and that they needed to see him.  They spent the next 45 minutes trying to get him to open the his room door and when he did he was a complete pile.  They verified he was not dead, shut his door and got ready to leave only to get a call on the radio that he had outstanding warrants.  So...rinse lather repeat and 45 minutes later the door is open again.  They take him out and Nick and I just stared at each other for like 5 minutes saying "Did that really just happen?"  The next day, his parents show up at our house and take all his stuff, give us a bunch of money for the rest of the year utilities and profusely apologize.  That's the end right?  Nope...3 days later the kid shows up again, telling us he was out of town on "business"and accusing us of stealing all his stuff.  He lived in the house for 3 or 4 more days, sleeping on a couch that he dragged into his room from the living room and then left and never came back.  I have no idea if he found another place to live of if he got hit by a car or if he went back to jail.  But we did start finding half drank bottles of beer and half drank cups of whiskey in random cabinet in the kitchen and bathrrom as well as a giant rip in the screen in the window in his room that he had appearantly been using as a way to go in and out without us knowing for some reason.

I am sure that Kyler and Zach could tell similar stories about one another after having lived together for the past year.  That is why this is this week's Mike Shaw Subaru Super Mo Replay Matchup of the week despite it being a one sided ass kicking.

Team	R	RBI	SB	AVG	OBP	SLG	W	K	ERA	WHIP	QS	SV+H	Score
Zach's Team	23	29	4	0.246	0.336	0.443	5	63	2.97	1.02	6	3	9
Backyard Superstars	23	25	2	0.282	0.333	0.441	4	43	4.28	1.34	3	6	2

When it boils down to it, there are really only 2 people who are responsible for the outcome of this matchup.  The first is Nelson Cruz.   Cruz finished the week 476/556/1190 with 5R 8RBI and 1SB.  If Edwin Encarnacion was Buffalo Bill this week, Cruz is Hannibal Lector.  Not even Cubano Apocolypse Yasiel Puig (333/429/583) could match Cruz this week.  Cruz's line was even able to offset the terrible Mike Zunino (087/192/217) and CarSTOP (125/263/313) to give Zach the win in OBP and SLG.  The gaping hole at catcher certainly didnt help Kyler, as a healthy Matt Weiters of Joey Votto likely is able to score 1 run and knock in a couple.  That would have dramatically change the outcome of the matchup. 

The other responsibile party in this matchup is Garelex Cobbiller.  Garelex Cobbiller made 3 starts this week (1 QS), struck out only 11, with an 8.82 ERA and 1.78 WHIP.  With Garelex Cobbiller, even Yu Darvish's excellence (12K 0.00 ERA, 0.88 WHIP) could not help BySs overtake Tim Hudson (2W 0.00 ERA 0.79 WHIP 11K), Anabel Sanchez (9K 1.08 ERA 0.48 WHIP) and Jeff Samardzija's first win of the season.  Samardzija's win was definitely the one that put Zach over the top.

There will be another matchup between these two teams, maybe even another 2 matchups, but with their lease having ended last week and them not living together for the upcoming year, it looks like Zach will forever have roomie bragging rights.  Too bad he cant leverage them into doing forcing Kyler to do some extra cleaning or something.




Week 9 ass hDLes - There can be only one

What an interesting week this has been on the injury front.  For the first time this season, there have been more players coming off the DL in starting lineups than there have been players going on the DL in starting lineups.  In fact, there is a lone ass hDLe this week, and its actually a bit of a stretch to call him an ass hDLe seeing how he was injured on Tuesday, May 20th and didnt start again (he did have 2 pinch hit appearances) until he was put on the DL Monday with a right hamstring injury.  Our lone ass hDLe, our Highlander, is none other than Lester the Molester's own Eric Young Jr. 

EY Jr is obviously on Tom's team because he can steal bases, if you were paying attention yesterday, you know his 17 steals are currently tied for 3rd in the league with Jose How Many Altuves.  A hamstring injury probably even further limits his already limited value even if he is activated immediately when he is eligible to come off the DL, at least for the first week or so. 

The real tragedy here isnt that EY Jr went down, the tragedy is that the only replacement that Tom has on the roster is former Twin, current Phillie, Ben Revere, who has had the biggest week of his major league career.  Not only is Revere on a 7 for 19 (.368) run so far this week with a pair of stolen bases, but he hit his first career home run in his 1566th career plate appearance (off lefty Boone Logan no less).  Had he retired after his 1565th plate appearance, he would have had the 4th most career at bats without a home run, trailing guys named William Holbert (2396 PAs, Tom Oliver (2073) and Irvin Hall (2052).

Holbert played his last game in 1888 after debuting in 1876 as a 21 year old.  He had a career .208 batting average and his OPS+ (on base plus slugging in relation to the league average. 100 is league average, 110 is 10% better than league average, 90 is 10% worse than league average) was 47 for his career and never went over 60 for any one season in his career.  He was 40% worse than the average hitter that season IN HIS BEST SEASON.  He hit 49 (42 2bs, 7 3bs) extra base hits of his 489 career knocks.  Holy schnikes, baseball in the 1880s must have been terrible to watch.

Oliver played from 1930 to 1933 for the Boston Red Sox.  He seems to have been an adequate hitter, finishing his career with a .277 average, 534 hits (101 2bs, 11 3bs) and more walks than strikeouts.  The problem is that he was playing in the largest offensive era in baseball history outside of the steriod era of the late 1990s and the mid 1890s (when they moved the mound back and told people to stop throwing underhand).  In his best season (his rookie year), he hit .293 (league average was .287 that year), so you can hardly say that he couldnt handle the stick.  He just didnt have the power to sustain his success in the big leagues.  The Sawks replaced him in centerfield in the 1934 season with the combo of Moose Solters and Carl Reynolds, both of whom they had acquired in the offseason.

Hall was a WWII era (1943-1946) middle infielder.  There really isnt more than needs to be said than that.  Baseball in the war was a ghost of 1930s rollicking self.  The league was filled with replacement players as many of the real players had fulfilled their civic duty and enlisted in some branch of the armed forces.  The league was dominated by the few stars that remained and several otherwise "never-was" players were able to do quite well for themselves.

So basically, Ben Revere, playing in a relatively decent offensive era for home runs, was playing with the power hitting ability few alive have seen.  I am sure there are some others who have hit home runs who went through huge droughts (Ozzie Smith once went 3+ full seasons without a HR, but even he hit 28 in his career).

So ride on Ben Revere, hang 3 lanterns in the Old North Church tower, you just left the yard by air.