20 Day Warning; KEEPERS DUE IN 5 DAYS

Well friends, we are coming into the close of a rather disappointing Getting Crispy season as only 1 trade was actually agreed upon (and that was actually agree on before trading opened).  For shame, fellow tot-ers.  Uncle Jimmy and I tossed around a few ideas (and I asked Dusty about TuloGit but was quickly rebuffed), but ultimately couldnt agree on the details.  I am sure there are a couple of other similar stories to be told.  I think at least part of the problem is that a lot of us dont have a way to contact one another.  At the auction, if youre comfortable, we should make sure that everyone has everyone's digits so that we can go back to our wives or girlfriends and tell them that we got digits over the weekend contact one another more easily about this sort of thing.  I am fairly certain that there is not a stalker among us...fairly certain.

With keeper lists due in 5 days, I am still waiting on 5 more lists to come in.  Get that shit done...heres a list of those who are playing the procrastination game and guesses as to why.

 

League Champ Tomsula - Turns out the defending champ is most likely playing it cool and waiting.  I talked to Tom a bit at the F-word employee dinner and he was geeked about the season.  That's right, I said geeked.  If you had been there you would have thought he was pretty geeked to.  You want to know how many times I am going to say geeked in this paragraph dont you?  This is more than I have used the word geeked in my entire life...but...suck it.  Estimated time of arrivial of keeper list: Friday afternoon. 

John John McJohnerson - John got a new ladyfriend since the season ended.  They met, they wooed, they co-habitated, they even have a kid whos like 5 or 6 years old (ok, that last part is somewhat misleading, she brought the kid with her...John doesnt have magical powers that allow him to go back in time and create John Connor so that he can lead the Resistance).  Turns out John has been somewhat busy in the last several months and his keeper list hasnt been on the forefront of his attention.  Estimated time of arrivial of keeper list: Friday night at 11:58 PM.

Zachariah and Tyleriah - I have absolutely no fucking clue what they could be doing that would keep them from getting their lists in.  So, as I do with things when I dont know anything about them, I make shit up.  It is my firm belief that Zach and Tyler are once again fighting, this time over who shall turn their list in second, because... two is a bigger number than one, and is therefore better.  This leads to several awkward conversations around the dinner table where Zach and Tyler's mom and dad look on extremely confused about the Tot lists that T and Z constantly bring up, and the parents want to know why its a big deal on who turns in this "list" first, but are too afraid to ask.  Estimated time of arrivial of keeper list: Zach - Friday, 11:57 PM; Tyler - Friday 11:58 PM.   Sorry Zach, Tyler gets to claim that he is better until the season starts.

Kevin - I got nothing man.  Maybe he is salty pretzel pushing like Mike Trout? Shit...I cant even make up a story.  Actually, I just texted him to ask what his deal is...and he's getting his team in soon, getting keepers by Friday and is planning on being there for the draft, which is all excellent.  It kinda bums me out that I can't make up a story about how Kevin goes to patients at work with his box of Mike Trout's Salty Goodness and pressures them into eating an entire box at a time, but we cant all have what we want all the time, can we?

We interrupt this irregularly scheduled blog post to bring you this very important message:



Actually, its half a Goulet because sometimes a half is better than a none.  And I have only got the time for a half.

 

#4568 – Injuries to favorite players - Every year, there are preseason injuries to key players that end up affecting the course of the entire fantasy season.  This year is lkely to be no different.  With Spring Training starting, it is only a matter of time before one of our big $ keepers ends up blowing an elbow or destroying a knee (I just hope that its someone from Tomsula's team...thats right LC Tomsula.  I am coming for your crown and I have no problems with winning it because a massive number of significant injuries befells your team).  The injury bug has already taken down one of my preseason targets, Jurickson Profar, or as he is called in the Grupe house, Jerkison Profar, who appears to be headed towards missing his second straight full season with a shoulder injury.  For those of you scoring at home, that gives the number of seasons he has missed a slight lead over the number of seasons he has participated in, 2-1.  For the former #1 prospect in all of baseball, it is a big blow as he might never recover the ability he once had (hey Twins fans...isnt Byron Buxton a former #1 prospect in all of baseball who keeps getting hurt?) or he might come back and find his job has been taken by Roughed Odor.  As of right now, the leaders in the "Hes gonna git hurt in ST" death pool - Troy Tulowitzki, because thats what he do; Jose Altuve, because Jon Singleton is going to mistake him for a fun size chocolate elf and eat him; and Adam Wainwright, because God hates beautiful curveballs and because he is on Bob's team...and Bob is a dick.

7 – Crowning the king - I am actually looking forward to the pre draft crispy crowning ceremony.  I have no idea how it will work, but I have visions of giving Tom a large cup full of beer, demanding that he chug it and then placing a bag of tater tots on his head while he kneels.  Then, I take a baseball bat and touch each shoulder lightly like people do in bad movies about early England when they are knighting someone.  Actually...this is exactly how I expect the ceremony will go and I hope that someone takes numerous pictures so that we can post them on this blog and/or use them for blackmail at some point in the future.

6 – Fantasy baseball articles - There is very little that I enjoy more than terribly written or researched fantasy articles.  I'm not particular about the sport, though since I like baseball most, I can pick out the articles that are full of shit much easier.  And there are more than enough crappy articles floating around the interwebs at this time of the year.  I just found a site that talks about "hoping to become your source for tips and strategy for fantasy baseball 2015" but doesnt have a single article linked that is from this year.  There is actually one that is a billed as a list of sleepers for 2013 and includes Evan Gattis.  Thats the whole list.  Evan Gattis.  That is some hard hitting analysis.  I think I am going to bookmark that page and see what other nuggest of wisdom I can get from it. 

5 – Mad Bum - 2014's Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year played Superman to the Royals' General Zod in last year's World Series.  What will he do for an encore?  The potential outcomes range from pulling a Steve Nebraska and striking out every batter he faces while curing cancer and ending world hunger to breaking down in Spring Training from the massive workload he has put on his shoulder/elbow before his 26th birthday.  Either way, the man who married his high school sweetheart and gave her a cow as a wedding present will be quietly entertaining.

4 – The San Diego Ron Burgendys - Has your team been perennially shitty since the Clinton years?  Do you wear an exciting combination of brown and yellow that looks like the dookie someone dropped on Pablo Sandookieval?  Did your infield hit a combine .158/.199/.256 last year (approximate)?  Oh the things that one offseason can do.  Wait...the offseason didnt solve any of these problems? 

They might be competitive, but are in a division with the defending champion Giants and the Dodgers, who have more money than they will ever be able to spend...seriously...$300 million a year from the TV deal alone...(the Rockies barely count anymore unless TuloGit and CarStop are healthy and mashing and the DBacks need a healthy season from Paul Goldschmidt and several minor miracles).  So, even if they are competitive, they are likely chasing a Wild Card berth with the Mets, Marlins and the entire NL Central.  They are still wearing the McDonald's uniforms...and for all of their impressive roster moves they did absolutely nothing to address their putrid infield offense, except get rid of the one player who was actually capable of being a useful player, Everth Cabrera (though Cabrera was slightly worse than Henry Roengartner at the plate last year).  A 5 through 8 lineup that consists of Jedd Jerko, Yonder Alonso, the Yanger Zone and Alexi Amarista scares exactly no one.  Actually, I think that Roengartner could repeatedly get that group out throwing nothing but floaters.  I get that the Padres are the exciting team who made a bunch of moves and got players like Matt Kemp, Justin Upton and Wil Myers (seriously, the more i think about it, the more I like the Myers pick up.  Two years ago Myers was the next coming of Jimmie Foxx and now he was traded for Steven Souza-phone, Tyson Ross's little brother and something called a Trea Turner (actually, Turner is legit.  But how would a sentence meant to look like he was traded for several bags of peanuts look if I included that at least one of the players is a top teir prospect)?  Myers shouldnt be playing CF, but at least he should hit.  If they could teach him to play 3b, maybe their offseason would lead to more than disappointment.  For once, I am invested in how things play out in Saint Diego.

3 – Spring Training Baseball - The possibilities are endless.  The weather is warm.  Guys wearing jerseys with numbers in the 60s and 70s will be hitting and pitching to each other enough that it will convince a bunch of people that one of them is worth bringing up with the big team until he has to face the actual MLB caliber players.  I love ST for the first week...then I just want the games to start.  On a side note, we will finally get a chance to see if guys like Matt Harvey, AJ Griffin and Jarrod Parker are ready to go after an entire year off.  I even promise not to make any reference whatsoever to the guy playing third base for the Yankees...Chase Headley.

2 – We Get Tacos…or whatever comes next - One of the best things about last year was the now famous Rockie promotion of "We Get Tacos" and the Mike Shaw Subaru Super Mo Replay.  With the free trial of MLB Extra Innings on Direct TV (at least, I better get that again), I cant wait to see what goodies some of the other teams have waiting to be discovered.  And if there isnt anything great, we can always fall back on "We Get Tacos."

1 – Rougned Odor and Rougned Odor - In one of the best moves of all time, the Texas Rangers signed Rougned Odor, younger brother of Rougned Odor, this week.  Thats right...the two brothers have the exact same name.  The soon to be 21 year old Odor was the Rangers second baseman much of last year and established himself as decent but not spectacular player.  He was likely to have some stiff competition for the starting job from the aforementioned Profar before Profar broke hisself again.  Now the Rangers' keystone job appears to be all but officially his.  The 17 year old younger Odor is also a middle infielder, so in a coupld of seasons the Rangers might have a full fledged Odor problem in the middle of the diamond (wow that was a terrible pun, but I loved every second of it).  I am not gonna lie, the possibility of an Odor-Odor-Fielder double play happening at some point, even if its spring training, makes me happy in ways that only Garrett Richards and George Springer can top.

39 DAY WARNING - The League is UP!

Well, well, well...Yahoo finally got their collective craps together and got the Fantasy Baseball 2015 up and running.  So, I too have gotten my crap together and set up the league.  It will not let me import player costs until your team is in the league, so I will try to keep up with that.  The 5 teams that are in now have all costs in place.  Please set your keepers here BUT ALSO LET ME KNOW WHAT THEY ARE.  I cannot see anyone's keepers and I would like to be able to get some of the prework done before the draft when I have time to do it so it doesnt get constricting.


Also, trades will not work in the league until after the draft is complete and I enter the rosters.  Which is a problem since trading is open (and we have had our first trade of the "Getting Crispy" Season).  I can manually update the rosters though, so if you agree to a trade, please let me know so that I can make sure everything is in line before we get to draft night.


Real MLB has the Hot Stove League season, which always involves a lot excitement (this year especially if you were a San Diego Padre fan...well...if there were any San Diego Padre fans) and mucho trading.  In the Tater Tot league, were going to call the Feb 1 through March 1 the Getting Crispy Season, hopefully it will have a lot of the same excitement and maybe someone will trade away the farm.

The first ever Gettin Crispy trade was relayed to me on the first day trading was open:

BySs gets 2b Jose "How Many" Altuves ($20) and OF Nelson Cruz ($8)
The Attack of the Zack (TAOTZ) gets 1b Anthony Rizzo ($20) and OF Justin Upton ($34)

Rizzo has officially become the town bicycle, which is strange because he has the high OBP/SLG stats that play perfectly in a league like this one and his AVG wont ill you (like license to ill, bitches).  Put him in a lineup where people actually get on base occasionally and you have a guy who is going to be very helpful in 4 categories, be a net average in a 5th and pretty much completely useless in the 6th, SBs...but really, arent almost all 1b not named Paul Goldschmidt pretty useless in stolen bases?

Had Rizzo been traded straight up for Altuve, I probably would have called this trade a draw (and I hate doing that).  Altuve was the best offensive 2b in baseball last season behind his .341/377/453 slash line and 56 steals.  Altuve was the better, and more well rounded player last year, but he has some red flags coming into 2015 as 2014 was by far the best year of his career to date in every possible hitting category.  If his average comes down to his career norms, he will still be a very valuable player, just not the potential top 5 fantasy player that he was last year.

The inclusion of Cruz and Upton confuses me.  Cruz is coming off a season where he led the majors in HRs, finished 4th in RBI and managed respectable avg and obp stats (271/333/525)...he is changing teams (again!) but for a bargain price of $8 he can fall off hard and still turn a profit.  If Cruz is able to hit 249/310/457 (which is what Steamer is currently projecting for him) this year hitting in a surprisingly loaded Seattle lineup, he should be a startable player...and if he isnt, $8 isnt a crazy amount to have spent on the chance he repeats last season. 

Upton at $34 is another story.  With his move to a park that heavily favors pitching and surpresses power hitters at a near historic rate, Upton looks poised to take a step back from his 270/342/491 line.  Even though the Padres have what is expected to be the most improved offense in baseball and Upton's RBI and run scoring chances should go up, the home field home run loss should offset some of that gain.  Steamer, which is notorious for its low projections, posits that Upton will finish 2015 with a 253/337/442 line, which...looks very similar to the line it predicts for Cruz.  Why then the Cruz love and the Upton hate?  Well, one, Upton leaving his brother behind in Hotlanta eliminates the relevancy of my favorite meme of all time (can one have favorite memes?  Cuz I feel like a dbag for saying that I have a favorite one when I only can think of like 4 that I have ever seen), and two, the $26 price difference between them is a lot (some players who cost $26 last year...Madison Bumgarner, Jordan Zimmerman, Greg Holland, Garret Cole).

Anyways, BySs gets the carrot in this one.    BYSS >>>> TAOTZ

43 day warning

Warning...warning... the fantasy draft is a mere 43 days away.

With that, heres a rough timeline of events.


Feb 1 - The roster freeze will be lifted and trades may be made.  There will be no moves for any free agents.  Supposedly the Yahoo Baseball game will be up and running as of today, so I will try to get the league set up as soon as I can.  But for now, the plan is to have trades reported to me so that I can make the proper roster adjustments.  For a trade to become official, I need both/all sides to tell me about it.  I dont think that will be an issue because most of you have my phone number.  The ones who dont -- Bob can tell me because I see him pretty much daily and Tyler..well Tyler will need to get my number from Zach and text me.  I know that there has been as least 1 trade floating around for the past couple of weeks...so...nows

Feb 14 - Its Valentine's Day...take your special lady (or, for some of you, man) out and do something nice for him/her that doesnt involve chicken wings or as much as you can drink for $5.

Feb 28 @ 11:59 PM - keepers are due.  There is no reason to miss this, but if you do...remember that you will keep the 10 highest paid players on your roster as keepers.  Rosters are once again frozen at this point.

March 13 @ 5 PM - The draft weekend officially starts.  I am not sure who all is planning on coming down (or up, or over) Friday night, but all are welcome to come and watch basketball, play video games, stay up way too late and basically recall what it was like during Freshman and Sophomore year of college.

March 14 @ 2 4 PM - The auction will officially start with the crispy crowning of last year's champion, new coach of the San Francisco 49ers Tomsula.  After that we will vote on the items up for debate and then we will kick off the auction.  Auction order will be the order of finish from last year.  So Tom will get to put the first player up. 

If there is any issue with this time, please let me know.  I wanted to make it early enough so that if people want to get home, they can before it gets too late.  I also wanted to make sure that Kyler hasnt drank so much Fleshmen's that he forgets where he is and what he is doing and ends up with Jean Segura on his team.  Actually...revise that time.

For the auction - I am planning on creating lists of players by position for all 10 of us so that we are all working off the same list for ease of knowing if a player has been auctioned yet.  These lists will include the starters at each position and the entire rotation and bullpen for each team.  There may be stats included, I'm not sure yet.  There will not be any bench guys or minor league players, so if you are planning trying to get a couple or think someone will come on strong off the pine, you will need to know that or have another list or something.  You can bring other lists or books (or Bob might try to bring a friend from one of his big $$$$ leagues), but the main list will be the one you are expected to keep up with.  There will be some kind of punichment for trying to auction off a player who has been auctioned already.  I dont know what it is, but it will likely be something stupid that will make you look worse than trying to auction off someone who was already auctioned looked.

If there are any questions, let me know.  and get those keepers in.

Changes for 2015

For those of you who are observant, you already noticed that a page was added (its over on the right side) that says Changes for 2015.  I had my creative name juices flowing today.  These are things that need to be voted on AT THE DRAFT.

As noted there, I will be voting on them, and any tie will be broken by Tom's vote as the defending champion.

One thing will be changing, and there isnt a damn thing anyone can do about it.  Waiver claims will now be processed on Thursday mornings instead of Tuesdays.  For one, it lets me spread the week out a bit more since having recaps and waivers on the first two days of the week makes things really hectic for me.  Secondly, it should help with some of the issues of having a player get injured on a Tuesday and then being without a guy for basically 2 weeks.  If a player gets hurt on a Saturday, you are still going a week without a replacement, but the waiver line has to be drawn somewhere...and Thursday is that place.


Things that will be voted on:

1) Should we add another DL spot? 
The rationale - Last season, people got hit with a rash of injuries, and several of us ended up releasing players simply because we did not have enough healthy bodies to field lineups.  Adding a DL spot will allow us to keep the injured player and pick up a replacement, and then decide who to keep when both players are again healthy. 
The downside - Injuries forced people to drop useable players, which led to several of us getting good deals on players we otherwise wouldnt have gotten good deals on.  Also, injuries are part of the game.
Voting options - Yes; No
Effective - 2015 season

2) Should we add another BN roster spot?
The rationale - Similar to the DL spot, it would allow us to carry another player in case of an injury to our starter that does not allow us to pick up a replacement before rosters need to be set for the following week.
The downside - this takes 10 more players out of the waiver pool, so there would be fewer players available when you do go looking for an injury replacement
Voting options - Yes; No
Effective - 2015 season

3) Should we add the ability to include cash in in-season trades?
The rationale - This would allow teams who are out of the playoff hunt to sell off their players for the future.
The downside - Someone could conceivably trade away all of their future budget and then bail on the league, making it pretty much impossible to find another person to take over their team.
Voting options - Yes, from following season's draft budget; Yes, from current season's FAAB;  Yes, from following season's draft budget but with a limit TBD; No
Effective - After the start of the 2015 MLB season

4) Should we allow players who finish the season in the NA spot, who have not been in MLB at any time during the year, to be carried to the next year without being counted as 1 of the 10 keepers?(Their salary would still count towards the following year's total).
The rationale - This would give the league more of a dynasty feel.  Prospects who are not in MLB after the 40 man expansion in September are usually a bit further away from the Bigs, and keeping them seperate from the 10 person keeper would allow us to carry players for multiple seasons but continue to spend on them and force us to choose to use a spot on them once they reach the Bigs or let them go.  Right now, there is little incentive to use the NA spots other than to park guys we hope will be up at the end of the season.  This would give us a larger pool to pick from.
The downside - Some of us are better than others at paying attention to the minor leagues and could get an advantage by carrying a AA soon to be stud SS (Addison Russell anyone?) for cheap and getting to keep 10 other players.
Voting options - Yes; Yes - but only 1 of the 2 NA spots; No


If there are any others that you would like to see added, please let me know.

MLB Hall of Fame Ballot

Today is the day...1 PM Central.  I am not sure why, but every year I look forward to the announcement of the new MLB Hall of Fame class.  Part of it is likely that many of the players who are on the ballot or are coming onto the ballot are the guys that I grew up idolizing.  Seriously, anyone who can say that they never pretended to be Gary Sheffield (with his crazy stance and pre-pitch hand movement) during a game of backyard wiffle ball probably isnt a real baseball fan, and may in fact be a Communist.  The other part of the excitement is in seeing who History views as being included in the capitol A, All-Time Greats of the game.  This year though, I am struggling to come to grips with the fact that many of the guys who are going to be considered All Time Greats (regardless of whether or not they get into the Hall) are getting snubbed by a group of people who make their living writing stories about baseball players, but sat back and watched as complicit accomplices while the players they are now morally skewering took substances that, while not illegal at the time, are now looked upon as a new brand of Lepresy. 

I simply cannot understand how or why the Hall of Fame would want to pretend that players like Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa (and in a simliar vein, Pete Rose)never played the game.  If anything, their non-inclusion makes them a bigger story than were they to be included.  Shoeless Joe Jackson was a great hitter in an era that was full of great hitters.  But how many casual baseball fans know names like Harry Heilmann (who hit over .393 4 different times in a 7 year period and finished with a 342/410/520 career slash line over 17 years) or John's somehow relative George Sisler (who hit over .407 twice including a 420/467/594 line in 1922, and hit 340/379/468 over 15 years)?  They are both Hall of Famers by any measure, yet they are relatively anonymous in comparision to non HOFer Jackson.  Banning Jackson, and Rose, merely makes certain that they will be brought up every year at this time.  The same will likely be true with Bonds (the game's single season and career home run leader) and Clemens (and his 354 victories and 7 Cy Young awards), even long after their 10 year inclusion clock expires. 
Were it up to me, I would induct players based on their stats, regardless of their suspected or verified use of roids. If there were verified use, slap a big ole scarlet S on their plaque for all the world to see for all time...don't block it out, embrace it as a part of game's history...just like spitballs, greenies, betting on games.  Hell, using a plane for travel could be considered a performance enhancer.  Could you imagine someone like David Ortiz fitting into a train car bed for a trip from Boston to Chicago? 

Anyways, there are 34 names on this year's ballot...and the rules say that writers can vote for up to 10.  I would go through all 34 one at a time, but, as it turns out, I like my family and sleep, so thats not going to happen.  So I will just hit the highlights on some of the misses and then hit the 10 I would vote for had I the chance.  One note, I am a proponent of a big Hall - the more the merrier - so I feel that if someone can vote for 10, they should vote for 10 (as long as there are 10 worthy candidates).

First timers, AKA Not so near misses who wont be on the ballot again-
"Everyday" Eddie Guardado - If this were the Hall of Very Good Mexican Born Left Handed Relievers, Eddie would have a shot to get in someday...except that he wouldnt, because he was actually born in California...moving on.

Tom "Flash" Gordon - Gordon won 138 games, saved 158 more, called Fenway, Wrigley and Yankee Stadium home at different times in his career and fathered 2 MLB caliber sons.  He certainly isnt Hall of Fame worthy, but he sure has lived a pretty good life. 

Brian Giles - Somehow Giles has no nickname listed on BR...which is like, borderline impossible.  While he didnt have the longevity that marks even a Hall of Very Good career, he was legitimately one of the most feared hitters in the NL from 1999 through 2003.  For his career, he finished with 287 HRs, 1087 RBIs, an even .400 OBP over 15 seasons and walked 348 more times than he struck out.

Nomar Garciaparra - Mr. Mia Hamm was on the Hall path until 2003, then fell off and hit every brick on the way down.  Something tells me that he will get over this snub with a little tenderness from his wife.  For those of you who are too young to remember Mia Hamm, she was pretty much Alex Morgan before Alex Morgan could walk.

Others: Tony Clark, Aaron Frickin Boone, Troy Percival, Rich Aurilla, Jermaine Dye, Cliff Floyd, Jason Schmidt, Darin Erstad, Carlos Del-got it

First Timers who will eventually get in
John Smoltz - Smoltzy should stay on the ballot, and may well get in at some point, but not with a ballot this crowded with superstars.  He won 213 games and saved 154, but his stats arent very much different from Mussina or Schilling's...and (spoiler alert) neither of them should be punching their ticket this year either.



Repeaters, but not-gonna-get-it-yet
Craig Biggio - If you play until you are 297 years old, it shouldnt matter that you got to 3000 hits.  Biggio was a great player (and part of the awesomely named Killer Bs with Bagwell, Berkman and Derek Bell...for a year or two), but he wasnt in the same class as contemporary Robbie Alomar.  If you can only pick 10, hes out...he isnt one of the best 10 players on the ballot this year.

Curt Schilling - He should get in eventually as well, just not this year.  A trio of Smoltz, Mussina and Schilling would be a great class, in 2016 or 2017, after the ballot clears out a bit.  They could actually probably give them a single plaque with the name Mihort Musilltz and combine all of their career accolades.

Edgar Martinez - This one pains me as he is one of the greatest hitters that I ever watched play baseball and he should have gone into the Hall with Frank Thomas in a hitter's extrordinaire pairing.  He gets left off now because he didnt bring a glove to games for the majority of his career and the other guys did (even if it was a bad one).  He absolutely should be included at some point.

Others: Donny Baseball, The Crime Dog, Jeff Kent, Mussina, Alan Trammell, Lee Smith, Tim "Aldo" Raines





The 10-

1 - Mark McGwire
2 - Sammy Sosa
Enough already.  Who cares that McGwire "didnt want to talk about the past" or that Sosa likely used more juice than Snapple?  Put them in and make sure that they are marked as admitted (Big Mac) or suspected (and bat corker - Sosa) Roiders.  Not only did these guys single-handedly (dual-handedly?) bring baseball back into the national consciousness with their 1998 Home Run Derby Regular Season, but they are 8th (Sosa with 609) and 10th (McGwire with 583) on the career HR list.  Beyond that, for a 4 or 5 year run, when McGwire or Sosa were at bat, you stopped what you were doing and watched the game because, if you didnt, you were going to miss something truely awe-inspiring.

3 - Roger Clemens

So Roger Clemens had stuff shot into his butt cheek on a regular basis (allegedly)...no one thought it was a problem that a man in his age 41 and 42 year old seasons threw a combined 425 innings, striking out 403 batters using mostly mid 90s fastballs while putting up some of the best ERA/WHIP numbers of his long and storied career?  It is insane that the media continues to villify players after the fact when it is fairly clear that the evidence was readily available while the player was still playing and those same writers were doing articles commending them for their workout regimine and drive. So what if Clemens is a smug ass hole who is more concerned about his own image than about the game?  Turns out...so are 90% of the other players in baseball and in the Hall.





4 - Barry Lamar Bonds
Speaking of smug ass holes....  The MLB career leader in Home Runs has to be in the Hall of Fame...even if his head grew 7 sizes during his MLB career and he earned the nickname Big Head Barry.  Wait...the MLB career hit leader isnt in the Hall of Fame either?  Dumbness.  Anyways...Bonds was the prototype for the power-speed OFer when he came into the league winning 3 MVPs before he (supposedly) saw Big Mac and Sammy stealing the thunder with their HRs and decided he wanted in on that action.  He had 10 season where he was 20HR-20SB or better, including a 40-40 season and finished his career with 514 stolen bases.   He led MLB in OBP 10 times, including a 4 season stretch where his season OBP lines went .515, .582, .529 and .609.  For 4 years (2443 plate appearances), he was on base roughly 55% of the time he batted.  He even won 8 Gold Gloves (some of them were even deserved!)  A Hall of Fame without him cannot be a baseball history museum.

5 - Gary Sheffield
Sheff didnt have the massive peak that defines some Hallf of Famers nor did he win any MVP awards, but he did have a 22 year career that finished with a 292/393/514 slash line, 509 HRs, and 253 SBs.  In reality, he wont get in, and would be a lower teir Hall member, but, as I said earlier, I think more is better.

6 - Mike Piazza
Lets take a quick recap. The player with the most hits ever isnt in the Hall, and isnt going to be anytime soon.  The player with the most HRs and MVPs ever isnt in the Hall and is struggling to gain momentum.  The player with the most Cy Young awards ever isnt in the Hall and is struggling to gain momentum. Now add, the best hitting Catcher of all time isnt in the Hall and is struggling to gain momentum.  Piazza hit 308/377/545 for his career and had over 30 HRs in a season 9 different times, while playing almost exclusively at the game's most demanding position.  No one will ever confuse Piazza for Yadier Molina with the glove, but he wasnt as bad as many people remember and his defensive deficiencies were more than accounted for with his bat.  Not bad for a guy who was drafted in the 62nd round (which no longer even exists) and was only taken as a favor to his father's friend, Tommy Lasorda.

7 - Jeff Bagwell
Before his age 35 season, Bagwell was at least 35% better than the league average in OPS every year of his career, topping out with an insane OPS+ of 213 with 1994s 368/451/750 slash in the strike year. He had 9 30 HR seasons and 10 double digit SB seasons.  He even had a pair of 40 HR-30SB seasons.  He was a monster hitter for over a decade, played solid defense and was key member of a solid run of Astros teams.





8 - Larry Walker
Larry Walker started his sports life as a goalie in Canada and his nickmane is Booger.  That alone should be enough to put him in the Hall as a character story.  Fortunately, he also was fairly decent at hitting baseballs.  From 1994 through 2004, his worst season was a 284/422/476 slash line.  In that stretch, he OPS'ed over 1.000 6 different times, including his MVP 1997 season 366/472/720 line with 46 2bs, 49 HRs, 33 SBs and a gold glove.  For his career, he was an Escalator Club member at 313/400/565.  Walker is unfairly judged for having played his home games at Coors Field, (he hit a completely insane 381/462/710 at Coors Field for his entire career...aka 597 games) but he was simply a great player who played great at home and benefited from his home being a park where balls flew.  If Coors hitters are held to a different standard, will there never be a Rockies Hall of Famer?

9 - Pedro Martinez
10- Randy Johnson
The jheri c
url and the mullet.  If you dont know why these guys should be first ballot, no brainer Hall of Famers, you probably dont watch baseball.

MLB Offseason

I would love to say that we have hit the halfway point of the offseason, but unfortunately that day is still about a 3 or 4 weeks away.  So...to help pass the time, baseball does this strange thing called the "Hot Stove League," which, I am told does not involve the removal of any clothing not does it require that one takes a dookie on Pablo Sandoval's chest, as the name would imply.  A quick googling tells me that hot stove actually gets its name from either fans who sit around a hot stove in the winter months and talk baseball or from the fact that the off season plans are "cooked up" on a hot stove.  Neither of these reasons makes any more sense than the Sandookie.  Anyways, a several teams made some pretty drastic moves, and, because I write a blog about baseball on the interwebs, Minnesota statute 624.714 says that I am legally obligated to comment on them, though not to provide an exhaustive commentary on each and every move made by each team. 

Boston Red Sawks -
There was a scene in American Pie (the first one, I am still trying to forget that there were any subsequent films made in this series...except the Naked Mile...long live the Naked Mile) where Jim and Nadia are about to make friendly gestures towards one another and Jim, predictably blows it in his pants.  This leads to Jim eventually hooking up with band geek Michelle who is ultimately better for him in the end.  The Bo Sawks are Jim from American Pie.  They blew their wad early, binging on west coasters by signing Hanley Ramirez away from the Dodgers and Pablo Sandookieval away from the Giants.  That spending spree (and the Sawks refusal to pay more) led to Lester (the best looking girl at the dance) to sign with the Cubs and the Sawks to trade for former Detroit starter Rick Porcello.  Obviously Lester to Porcello is a downgrade, but not as big of one as you would expect, and for the Red Sawks, Porcello actually makes more sense, especially at less than half the cost per season.  Porcello is a roughly league average pitcher, except that he does one thing ridiculously well...get very good hitters to hit the bury the ball on the ground.  With the short porch in LF and a decent fielding infield, the Sawks might be better off with $10 mil in the coffers and an extreme ground ball pitcher than they would have been with Lester for 6 years. 

Chicago Cubs -
The Cubbies have had an interesting offseason for a team which was supposedly another year away from being serious about playing major league caliber baseball.  Signing Lester (not the Molester) makes sense because he should be able to play well through the first 3 or 4 years of the contract (while the last 2-3 years will make him a very well paid #4 or 5 starter).  Signing the Hammanimal to a 2 year deal seems a bit much, since he went so far into the tank in Oakland that the A's seriously considered moving him to the bullpen for the stretch run before remembering that their other options were Jesse Chavez and Drew Pomeranz.  Signing Jason Motte gives them another bullpen option, if he is remotely healthy.  Even with all those, its the Mitsubishi Montero trade will utimately decide whether or not this is a successful offseason.  Unless Lester tanks Mike Hampton-style, you know what you are getting with him...ditto for Hammel.  No one is expecting anything from Motte, but fairly big things are expected of Montero.  He was an all star, and one of the best catchers in baseball, just a few short years ago (2011, 2012) before he basically forgot how to hit (his 2013 stat line is particularly ugly...230/318/344 for an OPS+ of 83 over 475 plate appearances...yikes).  If he can regain his form, he gives the Cubs a legitmate left handed bat (to team with Anthony Rizzo) in a lineup that is leaning heavily to the right.  If he cant, he provides a large number of outs. 
Luckily, the Cubs have hired an individuals who should help immensely - Darnell McDonald (he of the 7 year, overall OPS+ 89 MLB career) to be the "Mental Skills Program Co-Ordinator."  I wonder if that means his primary job is to try to download common sense into Starlin Castro.

San Diego Whale's Vaginas
The Whale's Vaginas became the first team in the history of MLB to trade away every single one of their players in a single offseason.  They even traded so many times, that they ended up with some of the players they started with...and those guys never even realized they had been dealt.  In adding Matt Kemp, Justin Upton and Wil Myers to an OF already consisting of Seth Smith and Wil Venable, the Padres may be trying to employ the beer league softball tactic of playing 4 OFers...which actually might be their best bet since none of these players profiles as a regular CFer and the Padres infielders are beyond terrible (except for Jedd Jerko...he is way beyond terrible).  I mean, whats the worst thing that could happen when you trade for a bunch of players who are considered good at baseball because they are powerful gentlemen who hit homeruns when your ball park suppresses home runs as much as any other ballpark in the history of MLB that wasnt named the Astrodome?  The biggest win for San Diego is that they only had to give up Jesse Hahn from their stable of youngish, cheap good pitching...which they will need when Kemp breaks down, Myers struggles to recover from his wrist injury and Justin and BJ play the old switcheroo trick.

Milwaukee Brewers
The Brewers have had an offseason which rivals the Padres.  Theyve made numerous minor league moves.  They traded for Kyle Wren!!!!  They acquired a real life, MLB caliber 1b in Adam Lind.  They even resigned Jeremy Hermida, then decided to unresign him so that he could go and play somewhere in Asia where he will actually be allowed to play at the highest level (full disclosure: I have an unhealthy like for Jeremy Hermida and his departure from North America will leave a tangible hole in my heart). 
Obviously, the news here is that the Brew Crew no longer has to employ 48 year old Lyle Overbay at first base, nor do they need to resign strikeout king Mark Reynolds, who already signed on elsewhere anyways (shouldnt Strikeout King Mark Reynolds become his actual title?  Yup, its decided).  Lind is a nice hitter, who may be worse than Adam Dunn in the field.  Over the past 4 years he has made nearly 20 errors at the first sack while barely playing more than half the possible games there.  Good luck with that throw in the dirt, Jean Segura!

Minnesota Twins
I was going to make fun of the Twins for their signing of Torii Hunter and call Ervin Santana the second coming of Ricky Nolasco, but its not even fun anymore.  The $10 mil they gave to Hunter seems like a team that knows its a sunk season already and needed something to draw people to the stadium so that they didnt play in front of 25000 people dressed as empty seats every game...and a Torii Hunter Farewell Tour seemed like the best idea (reported other ideas included a Joe Mauer sideburn giveaway, Tonka Bull Doziers, Win a Date with Phil Hughes, and a drawing to see which lucky fan would get to be that game's starting pitcher...to be held every 5th day).  Ervin Santana is a decent number 3 starter who will be expected to pitch like a number 2 and to adapt to pitching in really cold weather after never throwing a home game north of the Mason-Dixon line.  The odds of this happening are not great.  The Twins need to continue to accumulate young players with the goal of bringing them all up at the same time, giving them a 6 year, cost controlled window of contention (kinda like the Cubs and Astros are doing).  Really, they need only look back at the early aughts when they brought up the last wave of players to the Twins teams that won a lot of games...Cory Koskie, Hunter, Morneau, Mauer...to see the blueprint.  They are getting there slowly, they just need to resist the urge to bring up guys like Miguel Sano and Byron Buxton before the reinforcements (Alex Meyer, the youngest Gordon) are ready to join them.

Hall of Fame ballot analysis will be coming next week.  Happy New Year's Tot Heads

Week 13 Recaps: The Playoff Field is Set

So being that I don't have a lot of time to write this post, I will spend most of the time on the important games.

Multiple Scoregasms 82
Show Me Them TD's  60

Jason and I have a one way ticket to the Shitter Bowl! Also I deserved this lose after making fun of Jason for always losing to me earlier in the year.

MeAndJulioDown ByTheSchoolYard 112
Baghdad Bombers 87

This game had little meaning since Josh already clinched a spot in the playoffs. However, this was a nice win for Louie to close the book on an otherwise bad fantasy season.

Rolling Meadows Mustangs 120
Smokin Blounts N Drinkin FORTEs 118

This game ended up not mattering as well since Zach had the number 1 spot locked down and Tom got no help in the other games. He needed Gunnar to lose in order to tie for that 4th and final playoff spot but that was going to be a stretch since the ArcticCats played the incompetent Red Hawks owned by Dr. Panda. However, a tip of the cap to Tom for a hell of an effort to try to sneak into the playoffs. So close... but here is the final losing picture post of the football season (the consolation bracket doesn't exist in my world).

If Gunnar wins the championship, every player on the team gets one.

Wisconsin ArcticCats 82
Kalamazoo Red Hawks 64

As I stated, this clinched a spot in the playoffs for Gunnar and eliminated Tom. Gunnar didn't have a particularly great week, but in order to beat the Red Hawks you don't need to. For Christ sake, Chris had six players score two points or less. The mind fucking part of this is that 5 of those players weren't hurt, they just suck! The amount of awfulness that is amassed on the Red Hawks roster is absolutely insane, yet somehow I finished a game behind him. WTF!!! Anyways, Gunnar has finally been starting Aaron Rodgers over Russell Wilson and it may just help lead him to a championship the way Rodgers is playing. Gunnar left Antonio Brown on the bench this week for some ungodly reason, but I'd imagine he will be in the starting lineup next week as Gunnar plays Josh in the Semi-finals.

I'm Ball Murray 98
Team Mustangs 83

This was practically a playoff game a week before the actual playoffs begin. Who would've thought halfway through the season that T would be the one that falls out of the playoffs? He was 6-3 after nine games and was in second only a few weeks ago, but that all changed after he went 1-3 down the stretch and choked away his playoff spot. So much for the brotherly championship battle deux. An interesting point about these two teams is that John beat T 70-69 back in week 5 which now looms large as a reason why John is in the playoffs and T isn't. In that week 5 matchup, T had a bad game from his running backs (totaling 4 points) and Calvin Johnson re-aggravated his injury early against the Bills and put up a goose egg. This week it was the quarterback position that is left to blame. Tony Romo scored a minuscule 3 points in his Thanksgiving day game and choked away a playoff opportunity like he is so used to doing, although this time it was for T's Mustangs and not the Cowboys (yet). It also hurt T that the recently fantasy stud Mike Evans had an off day, only scoring 4 points against the Bengals on Sunday. On the winning side John outscored T by a total of 36-7 when you combine the quarterback and kicker position.Take that and add a good performance from DeMarco Murray and you have yourself a playoff spot. John will have a tough matchup coming up in the first round of the playoffs against 12-1 defending champs, but anything can happen come playoff time.