Week 9 waiver wire - Weird Roster Science

One day this runaway roster move train will settle down and make these waiver wire recaps quicker and easier to write.  Right?  Wont they?  Each week for the last 3 or 4 weeks I have expected that the early season tinkering would slow down and we would get into more established roster routines.  And each week I have been dead wrong.  This week might be our most active one yet, with 7 teams making a combined 11 moves, as we all search for that delicate balance between improving our squads and making changes just to make changes all while dealing with the on slaught (not Don Slaught) of injuries and the week to week fluctuations in player performance.  Sometimes, it all comes together perfectly and you get something like "Weird Science."  Sometimes it doesnt and you get "I, Frankenstein."
Quick side note before we get into the moves - With the perliferation of bad action remakes in theaters recently (Miami Vice, Dredd, RoboCop, and something that was supposed to be Total Recall-- and I've read they are commiting sacrelige by remaking the nearly perfect Patrick Swayze/Keannu Reeves flick Point Break), can we not get someone to look at the comedies?  A film like Weird Science almost begs to be updated.  The main plot of adolescent boys coming to terms with their transition to manhood and their introduction to girls by creating a perfect woman on the computer and then having that computer model come to life as a (bascially) super genie who then facilitates experiences that help turn them from boys into men is one that would play to any generation.  Get McLovin and that annoying Peta kid from the Hunger Games to be the two protagonists and some snarky Brit to be Lisa (my vote is for Kate Beckinsale) and BOOM theres your movie.

Anyways:
1b Victor Martinez - $6 - Huckleberries - Drop C Jarrod Saltalamacchia


Does it make you feel like less of a man to have a player who
wears this and doesnt bring a glove to games?

Salty's season has taken a decidely downward turn in recent weeks, moving him back towards career norms in virtually every rate stat.  With Price Fielder's injury, Kevin was in the market for a new 1b.  He could have done a lot worse than the current #22 overall player in the Yahoo game.  Martinez has seen a spike in his power numbers to levels not previously seen in his career, so some regression is likely, but this is a man who was born to hit baseballs.  I read that Martinez went 155 games, from the end of last season through the beginning of this season, without striking out.  I havent verified that, because I dont really care that much, but there are players (ahem**George Springer**ahem) that cant go 155 minutes without striking out.

SP Mark Buehrle - $5 - UCCMA - Drop 3b Trevor Plouffe

Mark Buehrle's reaction when he found out he was picked
up in an actual fantasy baseball league.

Buehrle is currently the MLB leader in wins with 9.  He is also amongst the league leaders in the "most times his name is spelled wrong" category.  He will likely continue to be amongst the leaders in one of those categories.  When a guy gives up about a hit an inning but only strikes out 4 batters in every 7 inning start (both are about his averages for the season) and plays in the AL East, winning 9 out of every 10 decisions is not a good long term bet.  Now, Buehrle is as durable as they come, recording over 200 innings in each of his 13 MLB seasons as a starter and he is the active career inning pitched leader (to put that in perspective, Felix Hernandez would need to average 200 innings a season for the next 10 seasons to catch Buerhle in innings pitched...and thats if Mark stopped pitching today), so he does have value.  But this isnt the Mark Buehrle that Uncle Jimmy and I remember from the early 00s ChiSox.

What might have been...

OF Michael Brantley - $5 - UCCMA - Drop OF Dexter Fowler
Michael Brantley is a 6 category stud who flies under the radar because he doesnt really do any one thing spectacularly well.  But a 306/374/510 slash line with 31 runs, 39 RBI and 8 stolen bases will play in any lineup.  By the end of the season, there will be more than 1 of us kicking ourselves about not going in on the former Brewer farmhand sooner.  Fowler is the Astros 3rd hitter.  That is not to say that Fowler is good, because he is a deeply flawed hitter who happens to be relatively fast, but that is the state of the Astros lineup right now.

C Salvador Perez - $4 - Zach Attack - Drop Awful Baseball Playing Gentleman Jedd Jerko
Say it with me Zach, "Jedd Jerko is dead to me."  It feels good to be rid of him doesnt it?  I dont actively hate pretty much anyone, definitely not people who I havent met and who have no impact on my day to day life, but if I did, I would hate Jedd Jerko.  Sal Perez was a buzzy pick before the season to followup on his breakout 2013 season.  He hasnt done it to date, but the talent and the opportunity are there (that sentence could be said about every member of the 2014 Kansas City Royals...Butler, Gordon, Hosmer, Moustakas...ok wait, I said talent?  Remove Moustakas), so he should bounce back nicely.  Besides, Zach is currently starting Mike Zunino and his 230/276/424 slash line...Perez cant be much of a downgrade.

SP/RP Drew Pomeranz - $3 - Huckleberries - Drop Baserunner Machine Jim Johnson
This is the second player that Kevin is dropping who he picked up only a week or 2 ago.  Johnson has looked cooked; hes been allowing a large number of baserunners, many of whom score, and not striking anyone out.  Those are not good attributes for a person whose job it is to keep people from scoring.  Pomeranz has been very good at getting people out as he transitions from the pen to the rotation.  He hasnt gone more than 5 innings in any of his 4 starts, but he hadnt given up a run until the most recent trip to the hill and his strikeout rate is hoovering around 1 per inning.  As he stretches out, he should stay useful despite the goofy duck wing thing he does with his glove hand every time he throws a pitch.  There really is something in the water in Oakland that everyone not named Jim Johnson beneftis from.

Yup. This exists.

SP/RP Wade Davis - $3 - Bob's AutoTrackers - No Drop
Normally a pitcher like Davis would get the "Project Mayhem" stamp and we would move on.  But, as someone who had an irrational affinity for Wade Davis back in 2010, and whose fantasy team was derailed by him in 2013, I have to pause and note a couple things. The first is Davis's .130 BA against, which, for those of you scoring at home is .177 points lower than last year.  The second is Davis's 40 Ks and 9 BB in 22 innings.  Thats nearly 2 Ks per inning and a walk every 7 or 8 outs.  Last year it was a K every 5 outs and a walk pretty much every other inning.  What the difference?  Davis is back in the pen this year.  I am pretty sure he eats KC Barbeque during the 4th inning of every game to get ready.  I'd prolly pitch better to if I got to do that.

RP Casey Janssen - $3 - Mark Baker Hitless Bastards - Drop 2b/3b/ss Jurickson Profar
Profar might be one of the top prospects in baseball, but he hasnt appeared on the field yet this year and may very well not get on one much before the beginning of September.  Siyonara Jerkison.  Janssen is fresh off the DL, but he has been one of the AL's top relievers over the past 3 seasons and has yet to allow a run in 9 appearances as the Blue Jays closer.

RP Jason Grilli - $3 - Huckleberries - Drop SP Zach Wheeler
Grilli is a member of Project Mayhem.  Wheeler is one of the Mets' top young arms, but he has struggled greatly this year after a promising debut last season.  There are better days ahead for Wheeler, but those days might not be in 2014.

2b Howie Kendrick - $2 - MWP Masters - No Drop
I love it when grown ass men have names like Howie.  There are only 3 that I can think of, Howie Mandel, Howie Long and Kendrick.  That is probably because in order to get through life as a Howie you need to either be really tough or somewhat batshit insane.  Kendrick is probably both.  He can also hit.  His .307 average this year is not far from his career .292 line, but he is walking more and attempting (and succeeding) more stolen bases this year than ever before.  He has already walked bearly as many times as last year and stolen more bases than last year in roughly 40% of the at bats.   With current 2b options Ben Zobrist and Jason Kipnis on the DL, John needs a warm body.  If that warm body can hit and run...all the better.


1b, 2b Daniel Murphy - $1 - Backyard Superstars - No Drop
Joey Votto's injury left a hole at 1b on the BySs roster.  Murphy should fill in more than adequately with there being no current time table on Votto's return.  Actually, Murphy has been better than Votto in a lot of ways this year and in a traditional 5x5 league, Murphy might be the better option so far.  Murphy will be an asset in each of the 6 categories, though his RBI and Run chances will likely be limited hitting second in an abysmal Mets lineup (40 year old Bobby Abreu, who didnt play at all in 2013 and was cut by a terrible Phillies team in Spring Training, has hit 5th in each of the last 3 games) he has been a decent producer in those areas as well as in SB (9) and the slash stats (313/361/433).

SP/RP Alfredo Simon - $1 - Backyard Superstars - Drop Tommy Hunter
Tommy Hunter is dinged up and on the DL.  He might not have his closer job to come back to when he is healthy, though his replacement Zach Britton blew a save against the Brew Crew last night.  Alfredo Simon is a terrible human being who shant be mentioned again in this blog.  We'll do this instead.

Week 8 - World Domination

I hope everyone enjoyed the weekend, with its glorious weather and extra day off from responsibility. It is somewhat funny to me that we all get a day off from responsibility to celebrate people who are taking on more responsibility than most of us will every understand. I wont get into a rant on the military or the people who serve other than to say that I am glad they do it, because I dont think that I could.

Week 8's matchups proved to be the most lopsided, as a whole, of the season to date, with only 1 matchup being decided by fewer than 4 wins. This week was like Alexander vs. Hercules in Robot Jox. They were mostly one sided, using questionable tactics and ended with the death of one of the managers. Wait...that cant be right, at least the mostly one sided part is right. To be honest, I actually just wanted to post something about Robot Jox on the blog. It's one of those fantastically awful movies from your childhood that you remember being the coolest thing in the world when you were a kid, but then you try to rewatch it and you cant believe how unbelievably terrible it is. Kinda like David Ortiz this week (1 for 21!!!! ..048/130/048...0 runs, 0 RBI!).

Where last week, Ortiz would have fit right in with much of the rest of the league, this week he is the outlier. There was an outburst of offense across the league this week, with 10 players finishing with slugging percentages above .826 led by Chris Davis's 1.158 (before he went on paternity leave) and Nelson Cruz's 1.136. Yes both of those guys play for the Baltimore Orioles..and yet somehow the Orioles managed to 3-3 last week against Pittsburgh and Cleveland.

With this being a short week (work week, not actual time. One cannot change the length of time a week takes, though I have definitely thought about trying to do it), this will be an abridged version of the recaps. Well...I say that now, but we will see what ends up happening by the time I get finished.

Week 8 Recaps

The top 3 teams in the league all coasted this week, while MWP continued their injury induced free fall and Kevin's Huckleberries took the first step towards reclaiming relevancy. There were no intra divisional matchups this week as all 5 contests were Crossroads matchups. Quick side note - Uncle Jimmy texted me this weekend to tell me that he heard a promo on the radio for a Bone Thugs and Harmony tour date in Chicago at the end of June...wait what? BT&H are still touring? Like, arent 83% of them dead? Is this "Bone Thug Imagining Harmony" or are they pulling the creepy Michael Jackson trick from the music awards show a couple of weeks ago only this time putting it at the House of Blues in Chicago? Unfortunately, that show at HoB is the closest the the tour comes to the greater Winona area unless you consider Witchita, Kansas closer. Go THUG Kansas! If one of you all down in the Chi wants to hit up that show and post about it, I would probably do something spectacular for you, like buy you tacos or something. Also, Bone Thugs and Harmony does not have an official website nor does the tour have any kind of special name like "40s and Bluntz" or something equally creative, descriptive or stereotypical. Who saw that coming?

This week, we are going to start at the top of the standing and work our way down:

Bob's AutoTrackers (54-37-5, 1st place in BT) 8
Zach Attack (42-49-5, 3rd place in H - 11.5 GB) 3
Tie 1

Zach's offense featured the aforementioned Nelson Cruz (455/536/1.136 9R 7RBI) and Jose Altuve (483/500/690 7R 3RBI 2SB). Unfortunatley for Zach, he also had Ortiz, Chris Owings (100/143/250 1R 1RBI) and a Lake Superior-cold Carlos Gonzalez (182/250/182 1R 0RBI). Bob's offense wasnt anything special in its own right, but Edwin Encarnacion continued his month long war on American League pitching, hitting 320/346/920 with 5R and 9RBI for the week. His HR Monday (I know, its not in the recap week...its my blog and I'll do what I want to) gave him 13 in May. The teams in the state of Missouri ( Cards and Royals) have 16 HRs in the month COMBINED. Also for the Trackers, Dee Gordon did what Dee Gordon does, hit 200/304/200 but stole 5 bases to singlehandedly win the category. The mound battle featured 2 of the best steam stat lines we have seen this season, but Bob's boys were able to pull it out because of Adam Wainwright. My mancrush on Wainwright and his completely unfair curveball has been well documented (seriously, if you see me somewhere and ask me about him, I get all weak kneed. I might as well be a 13 year old girl in 1989 and Wainwright is Joey from the New Kids on the Block.), so you may need to take this with a grain (or truckload) of salt, but all Wainwright did this week was post 2 quality starts, 17 shut out innings, allowing 7 baserunners (0.41 WHIP) and striking out 21 batters.


Backyard Superstars (53-37-6, 1st place in H) 10
You Can Call Me Al (47-45-4, 4th place in BT, 7.5GB) 2

Obviously when a matchup ends up 10-2, i is safe to say that one team dominated the other. But that really doesnt tell the whole story here. Outside of Carlos Gomez (500/519/769), UCCMA put up what Uncle Jimmy called "a very Garfunkel week." Buster Posey (133/133/133) continued his offensive futility and A's Yoenis! (167/192/417) and Jed Lowrie (083/200/083) were exhibits A and B as to why the Oakland team was swept this weekend by the Blue Jays. The Superstars, on the other hand, got 500/548/857 from Jonathon (dont call me Matt LeCroy) Lucroy, 10 RBIs from JUpton and all of the offense in the world from Kyler's fake boyfriend, Yasiel Puig (522/607/870). I was definitely one of those people who thought there was no way Puig would pick up where he left off last season and that he was destined to be a solid but unspectacular player. I dont think its possible to have been more incorrect. Not only has he continued his play from last year, but he has improved in pretty much every measureable playing stat (and we can measure everything in baseball). We may be entering the age of the Puig. On the hill, this matchup featured 1 win...combined. That win was 7 innings of 9 baserunner ball from Yu Darvish. Of Uncle Jimmy's starters, only Tyson Ross threw anything resembling a solid game (8k, 7IP, 1 ER), but that was against the Twins and his team couldnt score a run against Phil Hughes. Otherwise, the matchup came down to the bullpens, where the Kimbrel, Uehara, Soriano, Rodney, Hunter quintuplet not surprisingly handled the Street, Balfour, Joe Smith, Matt Lindstrom foursome. At least Javier Baez and Kris Bryant are starting to hit in AA Uncle Jimmy. Reinforcements are on the way...in 2015.


Mark Baker Hitless Bastards (53-39-4, 2nd place in BT, 1.5 GB) 9
MWP Masters (40-53-3, 4th place in H, 14.5 GB) 3

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times... Both teams had awful hitters, Devin Mesoraco (.087/125/217) and Jayson Werth (172/294/207) for MBHB and Dominic Brown (105/105/263) and Tacoby Bellsbury (154/172/269) for MWP. Dom Brown is becoming a regular in this space, and not for any good reason. Brown's season line is down to 206/261/306. It might be time to find a back up John. MWP had solid hitters like Yadier Molina (350/409/600) and Evan Gattis (333/462/1000 in only 3 games), but they could not keep up with the Georgey Springer Show. Including Monday, Springer has homered 5 times in the last 4 games and is becoming the fantasy stud that people were expecting when he was called up a month and a half ago. Springer's 6R, 9RBI and 316/409/947 slash line combined with David Wright (480/519/680) and Jose Reyes 346/370/423 5 SB) to lead the Bastards to 5 hitting wins. On the hill, MBHB overcame Justin Verlander's (8.74 ERA, 2.47 WHIP) rocky Sunday start with the volume approach and sub 1.00 WHIP weeks from starters Madison Baumgarner (16K), Michael Wacha, King Felix (9K), Cole Hamels, and Ian Kennedy (12K). For John, HyunJin Ryu took a perfect game into the 8th inning on Sunday, only to have it fall apart and Ryu was charged with 3 earned runs. Kamakaze Tanaka (13K) and John Lackey (7 shutout innings) threw well for MWP while Carlos Martinez (7.71 ERA 2.14 WHIP) and Chris Perez (13.50 ERA 3.00 WHIP) struggled.


Huckleberries (38-53-5, 5th place in BT, 16 GB) 8
Merry Tyler's Moor Traveling AllStars (44-45-7, 2nd place in H, 8.5 GB) 4

Break up the Huckleberries. Despite the injury to Prince Fielder, Kevin's group won 5 of the hitting categories behind the strong weeks of Robinson Cano (364/400/545), Adrian Beltre (522/593/826 7R 6RBI) and Adam Jones (385/448/538 7R -- another Oriole who mashed) . MTMTAS had great weeks from Allen Craig (375/464/417 5RBI), Kyle Seager (429/500/571 6RBI) and Hunter Pence (444/565/944 5RBI), but could not overcome the sub .217 averages of Starling Marte (.217), Andrelton Simmons (.214), Dustin Pedroia (.200), Christian Yelich (.200) and Brian McCann (.188). When 5 of your 8 hitters are sub par, winning hitting categories becomes a bit of a problem. While KPs hitting was improved, the pitching turned in what might be the best performance as a unit of any team so far this season. As a team, the Huckleberries posted a 2.47 ERA and 0.84 WHIP. Basically, the Huckleberries turned into vintage Pedro Martinez this week, without the Don Zimmer toss. Tyler's team was decent, getting 2 QS weeks from Stephen Stratsburg, Julio Teheran, and Cory Kluber, but Ervin Santana, Sergio Romo and Greg Lukerson all struggled mightily this week.

Week 8 MSSSMRMoW

A Hitting vs. Pitching Crossroads matchup is week 8's
Mike Shaw Subaru Super Mo Replay Matchup of the Week

Its an age old fantasy baseball question. Which would you rather have, great hitting and suspect pitching, suspect hitting and great pitching, or average hitting and average pitching. With most draft leagues, you cannot reasonably expect to have both. With auction leagues, you can try to allocate certain percentages of your budget to each and attempt to hold firm to those budgets, but you are still not likely to be able to acquire both great hitting and great pitching. Whatever happens, no one wants to be terrible at both pitching and hitting. While a single week of the season is not a great sample, this week's Mike Shaw Subaru Super Mo Replay Matchup of the Week gives us a glimpse into what happens when a great hitting/suspect pitching team like Dustys Nustys meets a solid pitching team with suspect hitting like Tom's Lester the Molester.

	R	RBI	SB	AVG	OBP	SLG	W	K	ERA	WHIP	QS	SV+H	Score
Dusty's Team	30	30	2	0.337	0.417	0.583	3	33	4.91	1.55	2	3	6
Lester The Molesters	16	20	8	0.259	0.346	0.463	2	48	3.68	1.29	3	3	5

Fun with stats: The top 3 players for the matchup in each of the hitting stats:

R- Chris Davis (DN) 7, Ian Kinsler (DN) 6, Mike Trout/AJ Pierzynski (DN) 4
RBI - Chris Davis (DN) 10,Mike Trout (DN) 6, Adrian Gonzalez (LM) 6
SB- Ian Desmond, EY JR, Coco Crisp (LM) 2 each
AVG- Chris Davis, Mike Trout (DN) .421, AJ Pierzynski (DN) .409
OBP- Chris Davis (DN) .542, Mike Trout (DN) .455, Miguel Cabrera (DN) .444
SLG- Chris Davis(DN) 1.158, Mike Trout (DN) .789, AJ Pierzynski (DN) .636

Basically, Dusty had six of the top 8 hitters in the matchup with the only ones left out being all everything Troy Tulowitzki having a merely All Star caliber week (250/375/450) instead of a hall of fame one and reigning AL Rookie of the Year Wil Myers (105/261/105) continuing his sophomore season to forget. When AJ Piezynski and Ian Kinsler are having better weeks than Jose Bautista and Troy Tulowitzki, the Nusty offense is going to be extremely difficult to top.

Unfortunately for Dusty, and fortunately for the rest of us, Dusty's pitching staff features Francisco Liriano (9.00 ERA 2.10 WHIP this week), Fatolo Colon (rained out this week), Tim Lincecum (pot smoked away his sure fire Hall of Fame career), and Chris Tillman (54.00 ERA 9.00 WHIP this week). That pitching staff gives everyone a fighting chance every week. This week, Tom's team took advantage behind Zack Greinke, David Price and Dallas Keuchel (2 W, 2 QS, 14K, 1.02 ERA 0.57 WHIP, many confused hitters because they had never heard of Dallas Keuchel). I am in an uncomfortable place in my life because of Dallas Keuchel. First, someone named Dallas pitching in Houston makes me a little confused inside. That confusion grows exponentially when I try to convince myself that there is a fantasy ace pitching for the Houston Astros. I am struggling to reconcile the facts that Dallas Keuchel, middling prospect and pretty terrible major league starting pitcher for the last 2 seasons (1.54 WHIP with opponents hitting nearly .290 against him) has suddenly morphed into Steve Carlton. But Keuchel is inducing groundballs at a nearly 60% rate (amongst the league leaders) and he is strking out 5 batters for every one he walks. It is tough to give up runs in bunches when you arent walking batters and no one can hit a flyball off of you. Rarely do teams string together 3 ground ball base hits in an inning. There is a much higher likelihood of those ground balls producing double plays than runs.

Back to our initial question. Great hitting like Dusty's produced 5 hitting wins and 1 hitting loss but his poor pitching produced only 1 win with 4 losses and a tie. Average might have produced almost exactly the same result. I dont have time today to run what the average scores for each category each week across the league come out to be, though that would be a great project for a rainy day.

Memorial Day

Sorry guys. I'll be hanging out with the fam on Monday.  Recaps will pick up on Tuesday and waiver comments will be pushed to Wednesday.

Week 8 ass HDLes- Neck Fusion is the new Tommy John

Wait, which one is Prince Fielder?

There were a handful (Antonio Alfonseca variety) of guys that muddied up our rosters this week with injuries of different natures, but none will have the impact on our fake game that the loss of Prince Fielder will have.  Or so all the talking heads on ESPN would have us believe.  Listen, any time the Rotoworld line says "purported star player x (neck) will undergo cervical fusion surgery on Tuesday," its going to have an effect on who ever owns him (Sorry Kevin) but it really isnt going to have as much of an effect as it might seem, and the Huckleberries are likely going to be better off with whoever Kevin picks up off the waiver wire than he would have been with Fielder the rest of the season.

As fantasy baseball players (and as people), many of us struggle to come to terms with changes in reality, particularly if we have a lot of something, be it time or money or something of the like, invested.  For Huckleberries and the $54 price tag that Fielder commanded at auction (granted, this wasnt Kevin buying him), I imagine it was incredibly difficult to justify dropping him outright with 13.5% of your opening budget tied up in him.  Doing so would leave you at a massive competitive disadvantage...basically giving you a $350 budget while the rest of the league plays with $400 (you arent going to find a $50 value player hanging out on the waiver wire this late in the season...I mean there is only 1 Charlie Mars Blackmon).  The best one could do would have been to hold on to that asset and pray that he turns from 1997 Cecil Fielder back into 2007 Prince Fielder. But Fielder has clearly been a different player since the beginning of 2013 than the 300/400/500 stud he was from 2009-2012 and the hopes that he would turn back into that with the change of scenery from cold Detroit to hitter's haven Texas hadn't come close to panning out.  In the past 2 weeks or so, Fielder had started coming on, racking up 7 hits in his last 6 games, but only one of those hits (a 2b) was for extra bases. 

Power? Prince needs more burgers.

Going back 28 days, Prince's batting average and OBP (288/385) look to be right in line with his career averages (285/388), but with only 4 extra base hits, his power has been completely absent (.379 slg% vs. .588 slg% career).  You can deal with 288/385/379 from a middle infielder that you pick up for $10, in fact you might be extatic with it, but for your $54 first baseman, you expect a little more.  Check out Prince's AB/HR over the past 4 seasons and see if you follow the trend I see: 2011 - 15.0, 2012 - 19.4, 2013 - 25.0, 2014 - 50.0.  I could keep going with the stats, but I think I have beaten this dead horse enough.  The point is, that Prince Fielder being injured is the best thing that could have possibly happened his fantasy owners.  Now Kevin can either DL him and decide later if he wants to keep him, or dump him on the waiver wire guilt free for someone who will actually contribute.  At first glance there are about 5 1b on the waiver wire that would be immediate and long term upgrades on the Rangers' non slugging 1b.  Kevin, I look forward to seeing what you do on the upcoming waiver day.

How not to GM.

Long term, I cannot imagine that cervical neck fusion is going to be something that Prince is able to bounce right back from and start mashing in 2015.  This is a problem for the Rangers, who owe him somewhere in the vacinity of $145,000,000 through 2020.  Think Tiger GM Dave Dombrowski is throwing parties in the Tigers headquaters right now?  He got 1 World Series appearance and Ian Kinsler out of a ludicrous contract that he handed to Prince after the 2011 season and he doesnt even need to pay it (I know the Tigers are paying a portion of it this year, but I dont think that they are in future years, and if they are it isnt a significant amount) AND he got out of the Prince game before he suffered a massive and potentially catastrophic injury.  It is almost like the sports gods needed to balance out Joe Dumars somehow, so they decided to make all of Dombrowski's decisions work out.  Anyways, at the beginning of the season I wrote that Prince was in danger of turning into Cecil, well if you check out Big Cecil's fall from grace between 1996 and 1997 and then look at what Prince has been doing from 2012 til 2014...I'm not even going to say it.

Other ass hDLes this week:

Lucroy? LeCroy?

1b Joey Votto - Backyard Superstars
Votto went down on May 16th  with what was originally termed a knee injury, but was later reclassified as a left quad strain when he was added to the DL on May 21.  It looks like Votto may avoid a several month absense, but that doesnt help Kyler who already has a bench full of ass hDLes and will have a hole at either catcher or 1b, depending on where he decides to slot Jonathon Lucroy.  I seriously almost typed Matt LeCroy...actually I did type it, then I looked at it and was like..."wait, Fat LeCroy hasnt played in years...."

RP Tommy Hunter - Backyard Superstars
This one might actually be called "euthanasia" or a "mercy killing".  Hunter was put on the DL yesterday with what the team is calling a left groin strain, but might as well be a "sucks at pitching strain."  Hunter hits the DL with a 6.06 ERA and a 1.86 WHIP but minus his closing gig...after 2 straight scoreless outings.  For Kyler and the Orioles, this might be addition by subtraction.  Hunter will likely bounce back, but it may prove that last year's dominance was the outlier in an otherwise mediocre career instead of a breakthrough.

RP Matt Lindstrom - You Can Call Me Al
Another late game option mercy killing.  Uncle Jimmy can now finally stop riding the bad Chicago closer train (Rondon is already owned, though maybe a trade???) and go after someone who is actually good at getting people out at the middle and end of games.  Lindstrom is out for at least 3 months following surgery to repair an left ankle tendon sheath, whatever that is, and takes his 1.47 WHIP and 11 Ks in 19 innings with him. Punt, Uncle Jimmy, punt.

SP Cliff Lee - You Can Call Me Al
This one actually hurts.  Lee has been his typical solid self this year with 8 quality starts in 10 turns (only 9 walks), but hit the DL retroactive to May 19 with a minor to moderate straing of his left elbow.  When the news first broke that Lee was injured, I texted Jimmy that I wasnt sure how bad it was, but that the solution likely rhymed with Shommy Shon.  It doesnt appear to be that severe and Lee will likely be back in a few weeks.  That will push Doug Fister (Fister? I barely know her.) into Jimmy's rotation for the time being.

Rougned Odor? He kinda stinks.

Finally, it doesnt fall under the ass hDLe category because he hasnt been started all year...he actually hasnt been off the DL all year...but Jurikson Profar (I often refer to him as Jerkison), reinjured his shoulder and will be shut down for an additional 8-12 weeks before resuming baseball activities.  This effectively ends the seasons for the supposed top prospect.  While it sucks that he hurt his shoulder to begin with just days before the start of the regular season, he was getting close to being activated.  He had been taking on field BP and was working on strengthing his arm... then he tried to roll over in bed and re-injured his shoulder.  IN BED.  There was a guy on my college baseball team who injured his shoulder while he was in bed and told the coach that he was rolling over, but thats not what he was really doing.  He was a big believer in the "slump buster" concept (if you dont know what that is, text me, I'll enlighten you) and had injured himself holding himself up.  Im'm not saying that is what happened with Profar, but it would be a better story.  Anyways, the Profar re-injury means more Rougned Odor for the Rangers.  That is not a made up name nor a bad German heavy metal band that plays only metal versions of children's lullabies, it is an actual Major League Baseball player, though, if you look at the stats you might not guess it.

Taking Back Thursday

Some people advocate Taking Back Sunday, I advocate taking back Thursday.  Once (and for those of you in college, ir probably is still) Thursday was about finding a place that would let you pay them $5 and in return they would allow you to ask their bartenders for any tap or rail for the rest of the evening and you would receive them free of charge.  First, "$5 All You Can Drink" turned into "$5 All You Care to Drink" because people were worried that "All You Can Drink" was leading people to try to literally drink all the alcohol inbued liquid that they could fit into their body (and they were, but it wasnt because of what the bar and patrons named the night).  What those people didnt realize was that the amount of booze drank in "All You Can Drink" was, for most people, all they cared to drink as well. 
For us non-college folk (and I am pretty sure that the majority of us are now non-college folk), Thursday has turned into a roadblock that must be bridged in order to get to Friday.  I seriously dont think that I have ever heard a person while at work say, "Oh Hells Yeah! It's Thursday Bitches!". 

A quick look at the days:
Monday (originally monandæg, or day of the moon), as the start of the work week, sucks. But, there is a bit of each Monday where we are all glad to be back doing something to contribute to society after sluffing off all weekend, or a bit of us that is glad to get out of the house after lounging around for 60 or so hours.  Actually, Monday is great for catching up on what happened in the world over the weekend while you were too busy watching movies or being outside.

Tuesday (orginally tiwesdæg in reference to the Proto-Germanic "Tiwaz" or "god of the sky") is Thursday's younger, slightly more respected brother.  On Tuesday, you build off of what you started Monday (afternoon) You may not look forward to Tuesday (other than here, where waivers are processed on Tuesday.  Am I alone in that I actually do look forward to seeing the waivers that passed each Tuesday morning?  Am I taking crazy pills?), but most people don't loath Tuesdays.  I actually love Tuesdays, it's softball day in the summer and it's not Monday anymore.



Wednesday? No Woden's Day.

Wednesday (originally wodnesdæg in reference to Odin.  And if you dont know who Odin is, then you best check yourself before you wreck yourself) is hump day.  There really isnt anything more that needs to be said than that.

Thursday (originally þunresdæg, literally "Thor's day" because in Old English and Old Norse, Thor was þunor...of course it was) is the day everyone hates.  It's not the beginning of the week, it's not the middle of the week, and it is not the end of the week.  But it is close enough to the end of the week that everyone just wishes it would go away so the end of the week would get there.  Basically, Thursday is Donald Sterling.

Friday (originally frigedæg "Frigga's day," from Frigga, Germanic goddess of married love), is Friday. TGIF. 

Saturday (sæternesdæg, literally "day of the planet Saturn) and Sunday (sunnandæg, literally "day of the sun) obviously best Thursday.  Thursday is the red headed step child of days of the week.

A couple points before I make something which I promise will resemble a coherent thought.
1) The Etymology Dictionary I am referencing actually has this as part of the Saturday entry "Saturday night has been used figuratively to suggest 'drunkenness and looseness in relations between the young men and young women' since at least mid-19c."  Looks like the editor of that dictionary has been to an American college as well as to a London tavern on Saturday night.
2) Is anyone else surprsed how much the Norse Mythological stories dominate the names of the days of the week?  Thor, Odin, and Frigga?  I mean, that Hemsworth is a decent looking bloke and Anthony Hopkins had me at "Are the Lambs still crying?" but to have days named for these Gods when none of the much more popular (at least today) Roman or Greek Gods received the same treatment is very interesting to me.  Saturn was a Roman God, but the name of the day, at least where I have seen it, does not seem to be in reference to him.
3) Sun, Moon, Sky and ....Saturn?  I can see the allure, Saturn is one of the 5 planets visible with the naked eye and is often extremely bright in the night sky.  And it's got those sweet rings that wrap around it (not that the people naming the days of the week would have been able to see that.  The rings werent first seen by telescope until the 17th or 18th century).   Ancient people would have been well aware of it, but they also would have been aware of Mercury, Venus, Mars and Jupiter as well (too bad we missed out on Uranusday).  I often wonder about how things were named and how those names were able to become so widely spread that they were adopted as the standard.  I mean, people had to have come up with other names to call the period we now know as a day.  How did "day" win? And how did "Saturnday" win?

So there is a little Thursday knowledge dropped on your head.  I have decided that the league is a more fun place to live when we know each other better.  So, with that in mind, over the next several weeks I will be sending 7 questions to 1 of you via email each week for you to answer in an email back to me which I will then post here with some snarky comments.  Why 7, you ask?  Because 7 is the magic number, and at 7 we all get tacos.  Isn't that really the goal we should all always be striving for?

To start us off, I got in touch with Kyler, because, without Kyler this league and blog would likely not have existed.  I have wanted to do a fantasy baseball league for years, but never could really get traction because people, for some crazy reason, dont like fantasy baseball much.  But one weekend at my wife's (and his girlfriend's, and no, my wife is not his girlfriend) parents's house, we hashed out some of the details that would become the rule set for this league.  And it was a silly blog that he had to do for some terrible class that made me think about doing on for the league...and that bring us here to the 61st post of this blog (with 1099 page views as of this sentence, there will likely be more as you overzealouos ones refresh waiting for this to post).  I never imagined that the would get 1000 views over a season, let alone over the first 2 months or have a recurring German visitor (we are still waiting for you to post in the comments mein freund).  So thanks to all of you who are following along and those of you who are participating.  For the next 9 weeks or so, Thursdays are about you guys.

 

1) Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see. What is your name? What is your quest? What is your favorite color?

-My name is Kyler Sieben, big shocker there. My quest is to visit every active Major League Baseball stadium at some point in my life. I have been to 9 of them so far. My favorite color is red because why not. I think i liked it because when i was younger i would see people wearing Wisconsin Badgers shirts that were red so i figured that's what color I should like if i live in Wisconsin.

2) How is that you are connected to the league? How many licks does it take toget to the Tootsie Roll Center of a Tootsie Pop?

-I am connected to the league via Louie or Trey or whatever you want to go by. Louie text-ed me the idea of the league and it sounds like great fun. I believe it takes exactly 96 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, I'm looking at you Micheal Sam.

Yeah, I texted you the idea after we talked about it like 2 weeks earlier.  I'm glad it meant so much to you, you monster.


Massive uppercut.  But ummm..Geoff the ball is way down...

3) Who was your favorite baseball player growing up and why?

-My favorite baseball player growing up was without a doubt Geoff Jenkins. He was the best player on an awful team for many years, so naturally I loved him. It was like a teenage girl who loves the cool punk rocker up on stage, except for I was a boy and Geoff Jenkins wasn't in a band. I would listen to every Brewers game in anticipation for his at bats. I would stand up and cheer for him at every game I went to when he was batting. For years I tried to bat lefty just to be like him, with absolutely no success I should add. I still have two times as many Geoff Jenkins baseball cards than I do anybody else. When the time had come for Jenkins to leave Milwaukee, it was a time of great sorrow in the Sieben household. I can still remember his tremendous uppercut swing at every pitch he saw no matter what the count was. A quick side note, I saw him doing an interview earlier this year on the Brewers website and I watched every second of it intently. It was like for those couple minutes, a piece of my childhood was back in front of me.

4) If you could eat dinner with any 4 people from any time in history, who would they be and why do you choose them?

-The four people I would choose to eat dinner with from any moment in history would be Vince Lombardi, Reggie White, Jesus, and Adolf Hitler. First off I chose Lombardi because I am a Packers fan and think it would be interesting to talk to him and here his takes on coaching the greatest team in the history of the NFL, the 1966 Green Bay Packers. Secondly I picked Reggie White not only because he was a Packer but because I would love to find out how he could be so tenacious on the football field, yet be a priest off the field and how that all worked out. I chose Jesus because that would answer a lot of question we won't get into right now. And the 4th and final choice of Adolf Hitler was because the man is in my opinion the single most polarizing person in the history of the world. I have always been fascinated by the man and by the holocaust in general and how a person could possibly do what he did. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I like it, I'm just saying its interesting.

I have 2 things to say to that: 1) It is interesting to think about what Lombardi and Reggie White would have thought about Hitler (if they didnt know what he had done before they sat down with him) and visa verse.  2) I am tangentally connected to Hitler - I am not so distantly related to Eva Braun, Hitler's girlfriend.  As such, I often think of whether or not the man matches up with the deeds that he did.  In movies he is always portrayed as the ultimate evil (simply calling him by name invokes evil) and the things he did could not have been more repugnant.  But you have to think that at some point, when he was alone or with close friends, he would have had moments where he would have come across as a normal person.  He was obviously a captivating public speaker and people followed him/believed in his ability to lead them in a cult like fashion, attributes that are present in many of the world's greatest historical political and religious leaders (including Jesus).  Obviously, Hitler took that to a very different end and the similarities between him and good leaders dont extend very far beyond those 2 traits.  Anyways, I am pretty sure he would be in my 4 as well.

5) How far can the Backyard Superstars go this season/whats your prediction for your team the rest of the year?

-My prediction for my team is the same as for any of my fantasy teams, make the playoffs. Its the goal I shoot for in every league because, let's face it, in fantasy sports it really doesn't matter what seed you are as long as your in the playoffs. The lowest seed can end up having a few players hit a hot streak and destroy everyone throughout the playoffs. With that said, I will make this prediction. I think my team has the capability of winning the league this year, barring any major injuries of coarse. I don't believe my team is the best in the league but i have filled it out with solid players who can produce good fantasy value. If I'm able to keep up my record as it is now and make the playoffs, I think I may have a chance to go all the way.
6) Have you become irrationally attached to anyone on your team who you were not irrationally attached to before and why? Were you irrationally attached to someone already? Basically, who's your fantasy crush?

-I've never really had a fantasy crush since I started playing fantasy baseball a few years ago. I've never looked at one player and thought there is no way I'm getting rid of him. I am always willing to drop or trade away players for the right price no matter how good they are. However, this year I have really loved having Yasiel Puig on my team more than any other player I have had before. I think it is because he has been carrying my team offensively this year. I was told that I payed to much for him in the draft this year and that he will decline when pitchers figure him out. I felt all along that I got a good deal for him and so far he has payed off as he is ranked the 9th best fantasy hitter in the league at the moment.

7) I know that you used to watch the movie Major League like daily when you were growing up.   Dorn, Cerrano, Hayes, Taylor or Parkman? Explain.
-Taylor because he gets the girl in the end. Also because he was an all-star in Boston and gets to drive around the little baseball car. And because his lack of speed reminds me of my own inability to run. If you watch the scene of him running to first base it looks eerily similar to my running form. Not to mention he also gets to talk shit to all the hitters who come up to the plate, which I used to do during my little league games all the time. Seriously, I used to pretend I was Taylor behind the plate during games and would say weird shit when the batter was about to swing until the umpire got annoyed enough and told me to stop.


Thanks Kyler.  I will be sending out the questions (they will be a little different for everyone) to the person of the week on Mondays.  Please try to get the answers back to me by Thursday morning.