Tacking back Thursday - John bowls and Lincecum turns the Padres into cheese

I am sure that, by now, most of you have seen the highlights or read the articles on Tim Lincecum's porn stache no hitting the San Diego Whale's Vaginas last night.  Other than the no hits thing, there really wasnt anything that stood out in the performance.  Tiny Tim wasnt, like Kershaw was a week earlier, completely dominant and there wasnt a feeling that, no matter what the Friars did, they were hopeless against the Lincecum onslaught of breaking pitches (he threw only 39% fastballs or something like that), like there was with the Rockies in Kershaw's no-no.  There was a feeling, however, that the Padres may, in fact, be the worst collection of hitters in the history of professional baseball.  Take one look at their stat line and it is easy to see why many people are saying this.  For the season, they are hitting 213/273/337 for an OPS+ of 75.  A quick glance at their BR.com page looks like former Padres GM Josh Byrnes cloned Mario Mendoza and had ordered the manager to play him at 7 positions (I legitimately feel bad for Seth Smith who is slashing 290/397/516 right now but only has 24 RBI because no one else is ever on base).  The Padres are currently starting 5 players (Yasmani Grandal, Jedd Jerko-when he isnt on the DL, Chase Headley, Will Venable, and Carlos Quentin) who are hitting under .200.  Other than Smith, there are 2 players with more than 10 plate appearances who have OBPs over .300 (Cameron Maybin at .310 and Chris Denorfia at .301).  No one (again, other than Smith because he is, you know good) has more than 20 walks; aka one walk every 3 games.  No hitting them isnt even impressive.  You know what is impressive?  Giving up 11 runs on 12 hits to them, like the Cubs did on May 23rd behind a great outing from Edwin Jackson.  The Padres starting lineup is OPS+ing about 80, which means that as a team they are 20% worse than the average starting player (think Trevor Plouffe who is OPS+ing exactly 100 right now)...everyone on the team.  And that 80ish average include Seth Smith's 162 OPS+.
 

One more thing on this before we move on to John and his bowling (please note that doesnt read "blowing").  The Padres apparently employ someone named Jace Peterson as a backup middle infielder.  Jace (and I dont know why, but I really want him to be a little known member of ICP, Not-so-Violent J?) is hitting a cool 100/135/100 with 2 runs scored and 0 RBIs over 54 plate appearances for an incredible OPS+ of -31.  Yup, thats a negative sign in front of the 31.  I had no idea that you could even get negatives.  I figured, once you were that terrible, they called you 100% worse than the league average and figured that was a good enough sign to MLB front offices that you probably didnt deserve to be in the Majors and should probably quit baseball to move to Peru and milk male goats. But there is Peterson, still on the Padres roster, and for some reason, starting 4 straight games from June 20th to 23rd and going 1 for 13 with 6 strikeouts...and only having his batting average drop .001 points.  AND THEN, on the 24th, the Padres brought him into the game in the 8th inning as part of a double switch...so he could lead off the 9th.  It might be time to put Buddy Black out to pasture, or at least fire him before he loses all sanity.  Really...what manager is sitting in the dugout saying, "I have a player who is enduring one of the worst statistical seasons in the 140(ish) years of professional baseball, I have just watched him start 4 straight games and get 1 hit.  I should probably do whatever I can so that he leads off the 9th inning of this here game were playing.  I mean,, we are winning 7-2 and the pitcher is really tired after throwing 6 pitches."  Part of it is that the Padres only have 4 rostered infielders who arent physically broken (Jerko and Yonder Alonso are both physically and mentally broken in every sense of the word) and Alexi Amarista is an OF playing 2b, so Black didnt have a lot of options.  But part of it is a larger organizational clusterfuck where no one seems to know what was going on.

The best example of this is from a couple of years ago, when the Padres wanted a young Cincy Reds 1b prospect Yonder Alonso so bad that they were willing to give up a budding superstar ace in Mat Latos (the Pads got prospect Grandal and Edison Volquez's dreadlocks in the deal as well).  Which would have been fine, except the Friars had, almost exactly 1 year earlier, traded the face of their franchise, 1b Adrian Gonzalez, for a package of prospects that included 1b superprospect Anthony Rizzo.  With Alonso then in the fold, the Padres waited less than a month before flipping Rizzo to the Cubbies for Andrew Cashner.  So...follow along...the Padres took Rizzo and Latos and turned them into Alonso (20 HRs and 129 RBI in 3 years as a starting 1b), Grandal (a solid abreviated rookie year, followed by a 50 game suspension and ugly knee injury in 2013, and complete suck this year) and Cashner, who is a great building block, but has suffered through injury problems and just isnt as good as Latos was when he was dealt by the Padres in the first place.  Who knew I was going to write that much about the Padres?

Anyways, on to John.  My wife once told me that John is somehow related to MLB Hallf of Famer George Sisler.  I have never confirmed this with John, but maybe he will confirm or deny in the comments.

1) Who is John the MWP Master? Dont leave out any of the juicy details.

John The MWP Master is 30 years old and lives in the quaint river town Winona. As Louie has mentioned several times, I do work for Fastenal as an IT Senior Analyst. I work with ecommerce and EDI support. I came to Winona back in 2002 for college to become an elementary education teacher. 6 1/2 years later and several major changes later I graduated with a Business Administration major with an accounting minor. I am a huge Twins fan and have been since 1987 when I moved to Minnesota. I also like the Vikings but I feel they will only ever break my heart so I don't like them quite as much as I like the twins. I enjoy movies, video game, bowling, and golf. I am a big fan of fantasy sports however I do no usually do very well. Finally, my favorite color is green and I like long walks on the beach.

2) Whats the deal with your team? You started off so well, but the last several weeks have been a more than a little bit tough. What needs to happen to get you back in a playoff spot?

The deal with my team is the fact that it's my team. As previously stated, I like fantasy sports a lot however I never do very well. We started out pretty hot but then 3/4 of my team ended up on the DL and nobody stepped up to the plate like they should have. I'm now back to having a team that is off the DL but I feel like they have some catching up to do before really hitting their stride again. To get back into playoff contention I think a few things need to happen. First and foremost, my hitters need to start hitting. I feel like week after week I have more players that hit around the .200 mark than don't. I did make the move to get Blackmon which I hope will provide a little spark but I still feel I need some more. Anyone reading this, I would love to talk trades for a SS. I feel really confident with my pitching and hope they continue to pitch like the studs they are. P.S. I really miss Jose Fernandez.

3) I know youre a golfer. Whats your handicap? If we went to Westfield, how many times would you hit the ball into the water or onto a street?

I am indeed a golfer and we still need to get in a round at some point. My handicap is that I play golf. Seriously though I am about a 12 to 15 handicap. Not bad but not great either. I did purchase a new set of clubs at the end of last year and have definitely seen an improvement in my game. Westfield is a dump and should never be played but I suppose if we did play there I wouldn't hit any into the water or any into the streets. If you ask Lester this question he would have to mention hitting several houses and apartment buildings. You might ask yourself, but John, their aren't any apartment buildings while playing Westfield? My answer would be exactly, that's how skilled Lester is. I feel I can make fun of him until he finally beats me.

<ed note: I have no idea how a handicap is determined in golf.  I just know that it is a real thing that golfers talk about.  Anyone know how this is determined?>

4) I used this one with Kyler but I like it. IF you could choose any 4 people in history to have a meal with, what meal would it be, who would you choose and why?

a) Dalai Lama - If you have ever read any of his quotes or books you'd understand. The guy is just super awesome and humble and I feel like I could learn a lot about life from talking to him.

b) I'm kind of a two parter but I would talk with my two Grandpa's. Both of which were huge influences in my life and now that I am older I would love to ask them some more questions. One of them taught me and showed me the proper way to treat everyone and the other taught me to never stop learning and being curious. I just really would like to have one more meal with each of them.

c) Vladimir Putin. Why you ask? Because that dude is crazy and I just want to ask him some questions. I'm not sure which questions I'd ask but one would defiantly be "What the fuck is going through your mind?".

5) Favorite player on you team? What would it take to get you to trade him?

I think my favorite person on my team would be Masahiro Tanaka. This guy has been a consistent stud all year. At no point in time have I ever had to even think about benching him or dropping him which in a year like this I would consider to be a premium. Plus the $19 price for him also pleases me. There aren't many people on my team that are untouchable but you would have to propose a blockbuster trade to me to get him.

6) What sports, if any, did you play growing up? Who is your favorite Twin of all time?

This is actually Dusty with Kent HRbek.

Growing up I played baseball and I also bowled. Then in high school I turned into a punk rocker and started skateboarding and snowboarding. My favorite Twin of all time would be Kent Hrbek. I always remember going to games growing up and loving to see him play. If you ever went to a game while he was playing, he would always act out "no smoking in the Metrodome" which as a 1st grader was very entertaining. Side note, I was at the World Series game where he pulled Ron Gant off first base. If you haven't seen it, here you go. He'll never be a hall of fame baseball player but as a Twins fan, you know what he did to help the Twins win both the 87 and 91 world series.

<ed note: I also love me some Kent HRbek.  When the show "Kent Hrbek Outdoors" first came on, I desperately wanted it to be a show about a guy with a camera who follows Kent Hrbek around to places other than his house...like the gorcery store or Jamba Juice or the Mall of America.  Now that is a show that I would have watched for hours.>

7) Whats the deal with Shae Simmons? How did you even know he existed? Why did both you and Tom try to pick him up on the same day?

Actually you were dead on when you said he used to work for Fastenal. Actually that isn't true at all. I was looking for a RP and was doing a lot of different sorting and searches and he for some reason caught my eye. He doesn't have a lot of innings yet, but he has solid stats which I am hoping continue throughout the rest of year. I actually had no idea that Tom wanted to get him as well until the day I finally got him. I will admit that I am a little scared that Tom wanted him as well because Tom has made some poor choices with his pickups this year but I'm hoping for better.

Ballers On A Budget

So I am currently at work and am super bored, so I did the only logical thing possible...look at the fantasy league and start writing a blog post about it. I decided I would look back at the draft and find the best player on each team that was drafted for $5 or less (Tyler at no point did you draft anyone for less than $7, you have no place in this post, may God have mercy on your soul). In order to be on this list, the player has to still be on the team as of today, which is why there are a few teams who have a "one that got away" category.

Mark Baker's Hitless Bastards: Tyler Clippard  $5
     Honorable Mention: Oscar Tavares  $5
So far this year Tyler Clippard has done a very good job being the set-up man for Rafeal Soriano. Clippard has 18 holds/saves so far this season and has an ERA of 2.06. He also posts a strikeout to walk ratio of nearly 3/1. The most likely reason Clippard was available for just 5 bucks in the draft is probably because he wasn't a closer so nobody was quite sure what they would get from him fantasy wise. However, for the price, he has been a good bullpen arm for the Hitless Bastards, who only have two true relief pitchers. Tavares was noted as an honorable mention only because of his potential. Though he did hit a home run in his first major league game for the Cardinals, he struggled to find his swing. He is, however, one of the top prospects in all of baseball and has been said to have batting ability equal to that of former Cardinal Albert Pujols. If he ends up panning out to be anything like Pujols, $5 would be an absolute steal.

Zach Attack: Steve Cishek  $5

    Honorable Mention: Jonathon Papelbon  $4

Yikes!

This was a tough choice for who is the best and who is honorable mention. Both Cishek and Papelbon posts a sub 2.00 ERA's and nearly identical WHIP's. I decided Cishek has been the best for Zach because of his higher strikeout total and strikeout to walk ratio, as well as having one less blown save than Papelbon. To be honest I didn't even know anyone drafted Cishek until I went to the players list a couple weeks ago to try and pick him up myself. Cishek has the 2nd most fantasy points of any pitcher on Zach's roster (ranked 58), only behind Sandy Koufax JR. To my surprise Papelbon is also ranked in the top 100.

Bob's Dee Gordon Stealers: Jose Abreu  $2

    Honorable Mention:  C.J. Wilson  $2
    The One That Got Away: Kyle Lohse  $3
So Bob took a chance on the Cuban slugger to start the year and it payed off big time. For $2 Bob has received 22 home runs, 60 RBI's, and 40 runs scored. That's good enough for second in the league in homers and slugging percentage and 3rd in RBI's. That's perty damn good production for 2 bucks. I don't think anyone, including Bob, would've guessed Abreu would play anywhere near this good this year. The honorable mention went to C.J. Wilson because he's had a decent season, with 10 quality starts (2nd on the team) and 8 wins. He has also added 97 strikeouts and multiple Head & Shoulders commercials. Kyle Lohse would have easily beat out C.J. Wilson for the honorable mention for the season he's had, the only problem is Bob dropped Lohse before the season even began.

Huckleberries: Mark Melancon   $1
     Honorable Mention: R.A. Dickey   $1
Mark Melancon was one of the hold-overs from original owner Jarred to new Huckleberries owner Kevin. This season Melancon has posted an ERA of 2.48 and an excellent WHIP or.85 despite giving up a couple runs Tuesday night. Though the Pirates have had there fair share of struggles this year, Melancon has been a top tier fantasy relief pitcher. In fact, to the amazement of myself and probably most others, Melancon leads the league in saves/ holds with 27 (14 holds, 13 saves). He owns a nearly one strikeout per inning rate and an astronomical 5.5/1 strikeout to walk ratio. As Jason Grilli struggles for Pittsburgh, it looks more and more like Melancon will be the guy going forward which makes the $1 pick of him look damn good right about now. R.A. Dickey made honorable mention merely because he was another hold-over from the previous owner so therefore he qualified for this category. Dickey has provided the Huckleberries with 10 quality starts (2nd on the team) and 79 strikeouts (3rd on the team).

MWP Master's: Evan Gattis  $1
    Honorable Mentions: Albert Pujols  $5 and Joakim Soria $1
Evan Gattis was drafted for $1...wow! Everybody must have had there catchers at the time he was drafted because I think it's fairly obvious he is worth more than that. So far this season Gattis has a .288/.342/.553 slash line and is 2nd on the Master's with 39 RBI's. Gattis is the 2nd best hitter in terms of fantasy rank so far this year for outfielders on the Master's (behind Jacoby Ellsbury). The reason I gave Gattis the nod over Pujols was simply because he was drafted for $1 which makes him a bigger steal than $5 Pujols. Most of the stats pointed slightly in Pujols's favor other than his drastically lower batting average. Either way Pujols and Gattis have been outstanding this year considering the small price they were drafted for. Oh yeah, I forgot about Soria. All Joakim has done is post a 1.75 ERA and 0.62 WHIP while picking up 15 saves/holds. No big deal.



Backyard Superstars: Sonny Gray  $2
   Honorable Mentions: Aramis Ramirez $3 and Fernando Rodney  $2
When I drafted Sonny Gray, I had no idea how I got him for $2. I still don't! Anyways, Gray has been far and away my best cheap draft pick. He leads the team with 13 quality starts (in 15 games started) as well as leading the rest of my starters with a 1.18 WHIP. The best part about Sonny Gray is that he's shown that he can be a number 1 starter for the Athletics and yet he is still only 24 years old. He posts a 2.5/1 strikeout ratio and is written in permanent marker at number 1 on my list of keepers for next year. Since he only cost $2, it will give me more budget money to possibly bid higher on other star players. For the second team in a row we have a tie at honorable mention. Ramirez just finished up a week where he perty much said "fuck everyone, I'm awesome!" and preceded to go 14/28 with 3 home runs and 10 RBI's. This helped boost his batting average to .290 and his RBI's to 38. Not bad for a 35 year old third baseman who was drafted for $3. Fernando Rodney made honorable mention as well because of his high saves total. He has teamed up with the other 3 more expensive closers on my team to make a very solid bullpen.

Worst. Hitting. Pitcher.

The Dust Bunnies: Bartolo Colon  $2
   Honorable Mention: Nolan Arenado  $5
So the Dusty Bunnies starting rotation would be lucky to go 2-3 if they played 5 games against little league teams. Just for some perspective, the highest percentage starting for any pitcher on his team throughout fantasy leagues on yahoo is 36%...yikes. That being said one of those wins would most likely come from Bartolo Colon (the other from Phil Hughes). Colon has given the Bunnies who rule the Dust 11 quality starts with 8 victories, including 6 wins in his last 7 starts . His ERA and WHIP are middle of the pack but are dropping with every quality start. Unfortunately, he does have a low strikeout total, so he wasn't as big of a steal as a guy like C.J. Wilson for example. Though for 2 bucks he's not bad. Unfortunately for the Bunnies, Nolan Arenado is on the disabled list otherwise he would be the top baller on a budget for the team. Arenado had a .305/.333/.489 slash line this year before his injury. Mostly because of that 28 game hit streak he achieved earlier in the year. However, it has been a month since Arenado has been put on the DL and it looks like he'll be there for a little while longer, therefore he only gets honorable mention. On a total side note, I know Dusty says he doesn't read this blog but if you for whatever reason see this, TAKE WIL MYERS OUT OF YOUR STARTING LINEUP. Just because you can turn people into trees does not mean you can leave injured players in your starting lineup for weeks on end and expect anything back.

Lester The Molesters: Dallas Keuchel  $1
    Honorable Mention: Coco Crisp  $1
    The One That Got Away: Brian Dozier  $1

Also owns best afro in the majors

So coming into this year I can honestly say I had no clue who Dallas Keuchel was, or how his name was pronounced for that matter. Keuchel, however, has been worth way more this season than the $1 he was drafted with. He has recorded 8 wins and 11 quality starts while averaging a little more than 3 strikeouts per walk. As crazy as it sounds, Keuchel is the highest rated pitcher on the Molesters, who has a rotation including Zack Grienke and John Lester. If there was an award for drafting the best player I've never heard of it would go to the Molester whose name may or may not be Lester. I'll be honest, when I saw Coco Crisp was in the Molesters starting lineup I laughed a little bit until I saw that Crisp has actually been a formidable starter in the outfield this season. Crisp is the 105th best player in fantasy baseball this year and has average or better stats across the board, and still owns the best name in baseball. Not bad for a couple of $1 draftees huh? Too bad Tom (or Lester) couldn't have made it 3 great $1 draft picks. He had the chance with Brian Dozier, who he also drafted with $1 but released for Matt Garza in week 2. Dozier has gone on to have an unbelievable beginning to the season in which he is rankend the 18th best fantasy player in all of baseball.


You Can Call Me Al: Huston Street  $3
   Honorable Mention: Tyson Ross $1 and Lance Lynn $3
As of right now, Huston Street is on pace to have a career year. The most impressive stats for Street are his minuscule ERA of 0.96 and his 0.79 WHIP.  Pitching in Petco Park where the fences are 700 feet (approximately) may help his stats a little but the guy can still flat out pitch. The last time Street allowed a run was a month ago. He has had 9 outings since then where he has only allowed 5 hits and 1 walk while striking out 8. Just for good measure, Street also happens to be the best pitcher on UCCMA. Ross and Lynn are another case where I couldn't make up my mind over who should get the honorable mention so I gave it to both of them because why not? Lance Lynn has the better stats so far this year but for $1 I think Tyson Ross could be a better investment for the future.

Week 13 Waiver Wire- Trade Rumors Swirling Like Heads in a Toilet

My dreams are finally coming true; it looks like we have entered trade season.  We had our first trade since week 1 (part 2) go through at the end of last week and we have another that is pending.  On top of that, I hear that there have been a number of other trades offered and talked about, even if they never came to fruitition.  You can all rest assured, if there is a trade that is talked about that would involve a person that I am connected to personally, I hear about it.  And I love it.  I love that those things are being discussed and I love that you all are so excited about it and about our league that you tell me about it.  That is really what I was hoping to accomplish by setting up this league and doing the whole blogging thing...I wanted to give us all something to converse about when maybe, we didnt have anything else to talk about that day.  For you young guys, as you get older, your relationships with your friends change.  You will likely always be friends with the people you are close to now in the way that, if you call them up they will be happy to hear from you and you will catch up for 15 minutes on what has happened since the last time you talked, but you tend to drift apart due to things like not living 13 feet away from them anymore, having a girlfriend/wife (or boyfriend/husband...there is no judgement here) that you actually like spending time with, work or family commitments, or a million other little things that pull at your time and attention.  There are some exceptions (Tom and John), but for the most part this is a natural part of growing up.  Hopefully, this league is something that keeps at least a core group of us together and we all can continue to shoot around witty, meaningless texts and talk about tater tots in ways that make peopel within earshot a bit uneasy for years to come.  Basically what I am saying is thank you to all of you for getting so involved.  Ok, now I will stop being all mushy and get on with the waiver adds (9?  Shit son) before someone gives me a swirly.

TRADE!!!!!!
Backyard SuperStars get SS Jimmy Rollins
Huckleberries get SP Chris Archer

This is a classic win-win trade.  BySs has been rolling out Everth Cabrera and his .129/.205/.143 slash line in June at shortstop and badly needed an upgrade.  While Rollins isnt the perennial All Star that he was a handful of years ago, he is still a middle of the pack offensive shortstop who can contribute in all 5 categories and has a clear path to playing time, even if he is traded (no one is going to trade for him and then bench him).  Middle of the pack isnt great, but it is lightyears better than the shit show Everth has been staring in.  Archer is a solid upcoming pitcher, but if there is one thing BySs has, its starting pitching.  Kevin, on the other hand, needed another SP and already had Hanley Ramirez at shortstop.  Giving up Rollins as a back up to the injury/effort prone Ramirez hurts, but the 25 year old Archer gives him a great SP to build on for only $7.  This one is ADVANTAGE: PUSH  in the short term, but leans towards Kevin in the long term because of Archer's age and the extreme unlikelihood that Kyler keeps Rollins.  Kyler likely would not have kept Archer either, so to get something he can use now is very beneficial, but it keeps it from being a totally level swap.

Yahoo tells me the other trade will process for next week, so we will include that and any others with the next waiver add.

If you hit it, you can rename it...You want to call it the masterbater dont you?

RP JP Howell - $5 - Les Moles - No Drop
RP Chad "DJ" Qualls  - $2 - Huckleberries - Drop RP Joe Nathan
Howell is a member of Project Mayhem, as is Qualls though at a slightly different (lesser) level.  If this were the Masons, Howell would be a 28th degree Master Mason and Qualls would be a 3rd degree Jr Mason, and they would both be plotting to take over the world using clues left by Nicholas Cage and Nostrodomus.  I am going to willfully ignore the Joe Nathan drop because it makes me sad when great players (and especially ones that seem like decent human beings) hit the wall and lose their Major League talent.

OF Krush Davis - $5 - Bob's ATers - Drop OF Matt Holliday
There is a lot to like about Krush.  He has solid pop (33 of his 68 hits have gone for extra bases), wont kill you in the BA department and has a killer nickname.  There are things not to like as well, like he refuses to take a walk (15 in 280 plate appearances) and doesnt run particularly well or often on the bases.  Basically, he is a great guy to have on the bench in case you need a week or 2 fill in, but he isnt someone you would want to roam your fantasy outfield (or dreams) on a regular basis.

Brock Holt LOVES the itsy bitsy spider.

1b/3b/OF Brock Holt - $5 - Huckleberries - Drop SP/RP Drew "Pinata" Pomeranz
I love that the Red Sawks thought it would be a great idea to start the 5'10" Holt at 1b 6 times this year.  It says something about the injury woes that the Sox have dealt with, but it says a lot more about how much the Sawks like Holt.  Holt brings great contact skills (.318 average), an occasional stolen base (5 this year), and multiple position eligibilty to Kevin's team.  He doesnt hit for a whole lot of power (15 HRs in 2070 minor league PAs, with 7 HRs coming in A ball) and may end up being the Swiss Army knife of the Sawks season (never finding a true position), but as long as he is at the top of the lineup, hes start worthy.  Pinata Pomeranz will make a return to the waiver adds at some point this season...he is too good not to.  But he isnt good enough to warrant stashing on the bench while he rehabs his hand and his sad face.

Is that a wildebeast?  Look at that mess of hair.

SP Yovanni Gallardo - $5 - Huckleberries - Drop SP Ryan Vogelsong
The Vogelsong yo-yo continues as he is dropped back to the waiver wire for what feels like the 49th time this year.  Gallardo is back in our lives thanks to 3 straight 7 inning starts in which he gave up a total of 2 runs and struck out 20.  When he is right, Gallardo is firmly in the second teir of starting pitchers thanks to his ability to strike batters out and generate weak contact.   It always seems though, that Gallardo is one outing away from completely imploding for no appearant reason then going on a bender in the Brewers' clubhouse.  Vogelsong hasnt been able to regain the form that made him on of the NL's better starters in 2011 and 2012.  He has shown occasional flashes, but hasnt been consistent.  In fantasy, lack of consistency = lack of roster spot.

Drooling the drool of regret upon the pillow of remorse.

OF Cory Dickerson - $4 - Bob's ATers - Drop C Yan Gomes
Have I mentioned that Bob is a dick lately?  I also tried to nab Dickerson's services this week, but underbid by a buck.  Dickerson is a 6 category stud (355/412/664 28R 29RBI 5 SB in 167 plate appearances) who now has a clear path to playing time IN COLORADO with the tentacle tumor removal surgery that CarGo had.  With a month+ to solidify his spot in the Rockies OF, I am confident that even CarGo's return wont push Dickerson back to the bench.  I am going to be kicking myself for a long time on this one for not going the extra couple of bucks to make sure I ended up with him.  There will be many tacos had in Colorado thanks to Dickerson.

Im having Jeff Pico flashbacks...

SP Jake Arrieta - $3 - Les Moles - Drop SP Nathan Eovaldi
Eovaldi celebrated his release last night by posting bagels for 6 innings against the Phillies, though, to be fair, lots of people post bagels against the Phillies this season.  Arrieta was injured to start the year, but has picked up right where he left off after he came to the Cubs from Baltimore last season in the Scott Feldman trade (the Cubbies won that one BIG time).  In 9 starts, he has 4 QS (mostly due to the Cubs keeping his workload down, not performance) including his last 3 where the training wheels have finally come off.  In the last 3 starts he has thrown 20 innings, given up 1 run, 10 hits, 2 walks and struck out 27.  Arrieta was a top prospect with the Orioles before he struggled and lost some of his luster.  As a hopeful Cub fan, I fully endorse this pick up.

Equal parts Chuck Norris and Teen Wolf (the one with MJ Fox)

C Derek Norris - $3 - UCCMA - Drop 2b/22 Jed Lowrie
Remember when Jed Lowrie was on the leader board for OBP at the 1 month mark of the season (.423 at the end of April)?  He followed that up with a 189/257/295 May and an even worse 169/244/254 so far in June.  Pumpkin, they name is Lowrie.  Norris started the season off extremely hot in April, which got him more playing time in May.  He struggled with everything but walks in May and the A's have scaled back his PT in June, and his numbers have sky rocketed again.  Reliablity will be an issue with Norris as he has started only 44 of 76 games the A's have played so far this season, but as a backup and injury replacement, he will likely be one with the least drop off from the starter.

SP Henderson Alvarez - $1 - BySs - Drop SS Everth Cabrera

Brothers dont shake hands...

Weve covered Cabrera and his suckitude already.  Alvarez is an interesting case. Yahoo is pimping the shit out of him right now and he is on a silly good run over the past 3 or so turns.  He even has a no hitter to his name (game 162 last year vs the Miguel Cabrera-less Tigers in a game that was won 1-0 on a walk off wild pitch with 2 out in the bottom of the 9th and Greg Dobbs up).  I am just not sure theres a ton here to get excited about.  He doesnt strike guys out (his K rate is at a career high 5.8/9 innings right now) and he gives up a ton of hits.  He does limit walks and has become great at preventing balls from leaving the yard.  But the high hit rate means that he likely will never be a great help with WHIP (though he wont kill you either because he walks like no one...no wonder Toronto traded him, he didnt fit the organizational idea of what a pitcher should be) even if he keeps his ERA down by avoiding the big flies.

OF/1b Brandon Moss - $1 - ZAttack - Drop C Mike Zunino

"I think I see my career veering into foul ground."

Moss's vacation on the waiver wire was short lived as Bob dropped him on Saturday to make room for Jose Abreu on the active roster (Anyone who needs 1b help, I hear that Bob has Jose Abreu on his bench with Anthony Rizzo starting).  Moss is currently 7th in MLB in RBI with 55, right ahead of guys named Mike Trout and Paul Goldschmidt.  And though he doesnt have the category juice that those other 2 guys have, 55 RBI in 73 games makes for a playable guy in any format.  He has struggled in the past 2 weeks, with only 3 runs and 2 RBI in 45 at bats, but his track record suggest he will turn it around again.  Zunino, Zunino, Zunino...his power has been there, but pretty much nothing else has.  It is starting to look like the former college player of the year and one time top prospect (he was seriously compared to Matt Weiters and Buster Posey when he was coming out of Florida) is heading more towards bust than boom.

Yanger Zone, Part Duex - From Maverick to Topper Harley

There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man.
It is a dimension as vast as space and timeless as infinity.
It is the middle ground between ball and strike,
between hitting and walking dejectedly back to the bench,
and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his ability.
This is the dimension of imagination.
It is an area which we call . . . the Yanger Zone.


When a good Major League baseball player manages to go a week without getting a hit, it is kind of a big deal.  Coming into this week, it had happened twice all season.  The first, Starling Marteparty, bounced back from his 0-fer week with a vengeful 469/485/688 line that was a statement saying, "I had a rough week, but I am definitely a MLB caliber player so get off my back."  The second, Yangervis Solarte bounced back from his 0-fer week with...an 0-fer week.  Holy Shit Son! Yanger done done it again.   Going hitless in back to back weeks is a pretty impressive feat.  In fact, Solarte hasnt had a hit since a 2 hit game way back on June 8th in Kansas City.  Since then, he's been in Seattle and Oakland and played at home against Toronto and Baltimore, and all he has to show for it are 4 walks, a run scored and an RBI (Steve Delabar actually walked him with the bases loaded.  Guess what team he plays for...yup the Blue Jays.  I think they would walk a one armed 75 year old man 3 out of every 10 plate appearances).  Yangervis pretty much single handedly murdered Uncle Jimmy's batting average and slugging % in each of the last 2 weeks (even through UJ won the BA category this week thanks to a couple of Hitless Bastards not hitting).

Its a tough thing, when to know that a player is what they are and when they are having a rough stretch, especially with young players.  For every Albert Pujols, there are 7363 (approximate) Pat Listachs and Jerome Waltons.  Those guys come into the league and set the world on fire, some for a couple of months, some like Listach and Walton, for an entire year.  But then the league catches up with them or their hot streak ends, or their 3rd magic wish to be a good professional baseball hits its expiration date.  Whatever the reason, they are never the same.  Check out Yanger's month by month splits (thanks B-R.com!)

Split	G	GS	PA	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	SB	CS	BB	SO	BA	OBP	SLG	OPS	TB									sOPS+
April/March	22	21	89	76	8	23	9	0	1	13	0	0	12	12	.303	.404	.461	.865	35									146
May	27	26	110	98	14	29	2	0	5	13	0	0	8	10	.296	.339	.469	.809	46									126
June	17	16	63	54	4	8	3	0	0	3	0	0	8	9	.148	.270	.204	.474	11									38

Yowzers.  Thats like walking into the ocean and strolling along the Continental Shelf then suddenly hitting the Continental Slope and heading towards the Abyssal Plain.  Or, like thinking youre going to co-pilot an F-14 with Maverick and getting in the cockpit and flying out over the Indian Ocean, getting 2 hours in and realizing it was Topper Harley wearing a Tom Cruise mask the whole time.

I am not saying that guys that go through this can never rebound and become productive hitters, but there are layers of the batter-pitcher interface that most people never come to fully understand.  At the highest levels, there is a copious amount of data available to teams on each and every hitter.  Everything from pitch type/location/speed movement on each and every swing and miss, pop up, groundball or hit is there to mine for tendencies.  And the good teams (especially the A's and Cardinals) use that data to prepare a a detailed plan for each pitching situation for each pitcher for every hitter on an opposing roster.  Basically, if you cant hit a slider that starts in off the plate and dives over the outside corner, you can expect to get a slider that starts in off the plate and dives over the outside corner a fair number of times until you prove you can hit it.  But there isnt as much data for players just coming into the league.  Thus the huge start to a career and then the Sophomore Slump.  For the hitters that put in the time and make the adjustments and become at least adequate against their previous weakness, pitchers will move on to the next weakest spot in a waltz of sorts.  Some guys just never can make the adjustment once "the book" on them has been written.  Those are the one and doners, or rather, the one and never successful againers.  Occasionally you get someone like Frank Thomas who comes into the league and mashes in their first year, and then mashes in their second, and then mashes some more in every other season of their career until age or injury starts slowing their bat a bit or someone like Tony Gwynn who kept hitting even when his waist line was bigger than the GDP of some small Carribean nation, but those are the super duper stars, the freaks of nature who are no doubt, first ballot Hall of Famers.  For most MLB hitters, the ability to make adjustments is the never seen attribute that distinguishes good players from bad ones over the long term.

For fantasy purposes, the ability to bounce back can inform our decisions on whether we want to drop players or hold onto them for when they rebound (the ones who take longer to rebound but eventually do are inevitably labeled streaky).

Kyler and I have been going back on forth on this in regards to Jean Segura.  I wont dive into the stats or the argument because I would like to get to the recaps at some point while I am still young, but Kyler thinks that Segura, who started off his rookie season with an unbelievable first half season, is going through a slump and will rebound to be a borderline all-star caliber player in the not too distant future (Uncle Jimmy prays that this is true).  I think that the Segura that showed up at the beginning of last year was a player on the biggest hot streak of his career coupled with the league not knowing much about him.  His numbers since then, to me, say that he is much closer to what he has been in the season and a half since and he hasnt shown me that he can adjust to what pitchers are doing against him. 

Whats the verdict on the Yanger Zone?  I know what I think but I am not sure what Uncle Jimmy thinks, and the Yankees obviously think he will work it out or that they dont have any other options.

Week 12 Recaps

There were 2 interdivision grudge matches this week, 2 interdivision matches between not mortal fantasy baseball enemies and 1 crossroads matchup.  And, just to be clear, when I say not mortal enemies, I mean they are not enemies who dislike each other to the core but they do have to battle one another, not that they are enemies who also happen to be immortal.  This is real life, this isnt the Highlander or Army of Darkness.

Let's do this quick...itll make it sting less.  The parenthesis raking is the overall ranking this week.

MBHB (81-57-6, 3rd) 9
UCCMA (57-81-6, 10th) 2
Tie 1 (RBI, 21)

Hitting was at a premium in this one as there were 4 batters (2 from each team) that finished the week under .100 (Jose Reyes 083/120/208, Jayson Werth 087/250/130, Kendrys Morales 077/143/077, and the Yanger Zone 000/308/000).  The difference was that pretty much everyone but those 2 on MBHB walked and had extra base hits when they made contact.  All 6 other players finished the week with OBPs over .385 and David Wright (444/448/815) and the recently released Devin Meso(Hory)raco (357/500/1143) each had 5 runs and 6 RBI.  For Jimmy, Jean Segura's 2 HR game in Colorado boosted his SLG line to 615, but the BA and OBP remained low (231/310).  TMGS had a pair of SB (UCCMA's only 2 of the week) to go along with a 308/333/577 slash line and Buster Posey came out of his season long coma with a 421/455/526 week.  On the hill, MBHB won 5 of the 6 categories due to Monday blow ups from both Max Scherzer and Tyson Ross putting UCCMA behind the 8-ball at the outset of the matchup.  From there, 10 K from Felix Hernandez and 14 K over 2 QS from Cole Hamels sealed the deal.  Jimmy texted me this morning and said, "As of right now at least everyone will be drinking good beer at the draft next year."  Did that hurt less doing it first Uncle Jimmy?



Bob's ATers (83-56-5. 1st) 9
Dusty's Nustys (76-61-7, 4th) 3

This week, in bizzaro world, Bob beat Dusty in all 6 hitting categories and Dusty won 3 of the pitching categories, including ERA and WHIP.  Up is down, black is the new orange and the tides are controlling the phases of the moon.  On the hitting side, Dusty's team hit a speed bump for the first time this season with AJ Pierzynski, Crush Davis and Joey Bats all hitting under .200 for the week and with Wil Myers still starting in the OF despite wearing one of those rollerblade braces on his wrist all the time.  Bob's offense did what Bob's offense does.  He had mashers, (Edwin Encarnacion 304/385/826), good contact guys (Anthony Rendon 360/429/760) and Billy Hamilton.  Hamilton gets his own blurb.  All he did this week was hit 360/385/520 with 5 runs and 5 RBI.  Oh yeah, he had enough stolen bases to beat every single other fantasy team in our league this week (6).  Talk about a matchup changer.  I've mentioned it before, but Hamilton going for $30 at auction looked like an all time gamble on a boom or bust player (I think I called him Vince Coleman 2.0), but it has paid off nicely.  Billy Goat has turned into a legitimate MLB hitter and he is the most dangerous thing on the bases since Rickey Henderson's prime.  On the mound, Dusty's team managed only 21 Ks over 45 innings, but exploited bad games from Hisashi Iwakuma, Greg Holland and a blow up from Aroldis Chapman to win the ERA and WHIP categories.  For Bob, Adam Wainwright threw 8 innings and allowed only 1 run on 6 hits (no walks) and struck out 7.  UCLs everywhere are safe from my wrath...for now.


MWP Masters (65-74-5, 7th) 8
Les Moles (58-81-5, 9th) 4

John shut down his mortal enemy Tom this week by taking a clean sweep of all 6 pitching categories and doing just enough to win a pair of hitting ones.  Looking at the collective hitting box score in this matchup is like staring at the aftermath of a Civil War battlefield; there is ugliness everywhere.  I started counting guys who hit under .250, but then I realized it would be easier to list the guys who hit over .300, MWP's Yadier Molina (.364) and LM Coco Crisp (.350), the guys who OBPed over .400, Molina (.462), and the guys who SLGed over .500, Molina (.545)...and thats the entire list from all 16 hitters used in the matchup.  At least Joe Mauer's sideburns knocked in 7 for Tom.  Yuck.  The pitching was much better, but it was mostly on John's side as he got spectacular numbers from all 5 of his SPs, particularly Josh Beckett (1W 8K 0.00 ERA 0.86 WHIP) and John "Lurch" Lackey (9K 0.00 ERA 0.44 WHIP).  For Les Moles, Jon Lester was stellar (1W 10K 1.93 ERA 0.79 WHIP over 2 quality starts), but the Harangatang remembered that he is a 36 year old who hasnt been good at baseball since 2007, giving up 16 baserunners (3.20 WHIP) and 8 runs (14.40 ERA) over 5 innings against the Phillies and Dallas Kuechel had his second straight bad outing.   The advantage, at least in this battle, goes to John.  But the War of the Homies is far from finished.


Backyard Superstars (78-57-9, 2nd) 6
MTMTAS (64-70-10) 5
Tie (SV+H, 9)

Many things happened in this matchup.  Kyler won 5 hitting categories. Tyler won 4 pitching categories.  Tyler's team had 7 quality starts but only 1 win, including Julio Teheran's 2 starts totalling 15 innings with 16 K and 2.40 ERA and 0.87 WHIP...and no wins (the Barves scored 1 run in those two games combined).   Kyler's team tied for the most RBI in a single week so far (36).  But the biggest thing that happened was one Aramis Ramirez and his 500/517/964 slash with 9 R and 10 of those 36 RBI.  I have a number of fond memories of ARam playing 3rd base for the Cubbies and of him hitting a ton as the weather warmed up (2004-06 are especially excellent in my memory), but I cannot remember a single week like this.  Ramirez had an RBI in every game this week except Wednesday's ballgame and he finished the week on a Coors' binge going 8 for 13 with 2 2b, 2 HR and 6 RBIs over the 3 game set.  There may very well be a slight uptick in babies born to Brewer fans in the March time frame...and many of them might be named Aramis (some might be Porthos or Athos, just to mix it up a bit...but no D'Artagnans please).

Week 12 MSSSMRMoW



For no good reason whatsoever, the ZAttack and Huckleberries is the
Mike Shaw Subaru Super Mo Replay Matchup of the Week 12.

Sometimes things have intrinsic interesting qualities that are worth exploring simply because they exist.  This is one such matchup.  In addition to it being one of the closest matchups of the week, there are a number of plot lines - Zach is currently in 5th place but is only 3 games ahead of John who is currently in 7th and out of the playoffs; Kevin is trying to turn around a team that had been abandoned and has them up to 8th place overall, only 7.5 games out of a playoff spot.  Take those things, plus some of the outrageous stats put up during the matchup and you have our Mike Shaw Subaru Super Mo Replay Matchup of the Week.

Team	R	RBI	SB	AVG	OBP	SLG	W	K	ERA	WHIP	QS	SV+H	Score
TBD	31	33	1	0.317	0.374	0.497	3	53	5.29	1.37	3	5	6
ZAttack	22	28	4	0.309	0.354	0.482	3	47	2.23	1.08	4	6	5

Let play a game I just made up called "High 5, Low 5" in which I spell out the top 5 and worst 5 performances from the Super Mo.  Turns out I love top 5 lists.

High 5s

5) C Kurt Suzuki (476/455/619 2 R 2 RBI) - Huckleberries
An amazing week for Suzuki in his first as the Huck's starting catcher.  Suzuki has a modest 9 game hit streak going which included a pair of 3 hit games in the weekend series against the Pale Hose.  The only thing keeping him from being higher on the list is his meager counting stats.  For someone who had 10 hits last week, I would have expected more in terms of RBI and runs scored.

4) 2b Robby Cano (348/483/565 4 R 6 RBI) - Huckleberries
Cano's lofty line fell over the last 2 days of the week as he went 0 for 7 with a walk, but he still managed to impact this matchup and help Kevin take 5 of the offensive categories.  Cano had hits in the first 5 games of the week including a pair of multi hit games. 

3) SS Hanley Ramirez (400/458/600 7 R 5 RBI 1 SB) - Huckleberries
HanRam also has a 9 game hit streak going for him and he terrorized Colorado and San Diego pitching (but really, who hasnt terrorized Rockie pitching lately?).  His big week bring his season slash line (270/355/468) much closer to what we were expecting at the beginning of the season and his 10 stolen bases on the year are as many as he had all of last season  He has raised his OPS by .023 points over his last 10 games; he is definitely trending in the right direction.

Both of these men are standing.

2) 2b Jose Altuve (542/593/625 3 R 3 RBI 2 SB) - ZAttack
What a week for How Many Altuves.  He had hits in all 6 games and multiple hits in 4 of the 6 with 4 coming in last Tuesday's 6-5 loss to the Nats.  He didnt homer, cuz he's 5'3," but he did swipe 2 more bags bringing his total to 26 (out of 29 attempts) and single handedly swung that category to Zach. As Houston's lineup continues to improve, the runs scored should only pile up higher for someone who gets on base and can run as well as Altuve does.  He would be #1 if there hadnt been:

1) SP Clayton Kershaw (1W 15K 0.00 ERA 0.00 WHIP 1 QS) - ZAttack
This is why Clayton Kershaw was the most expensive pitcher in the league this year.  His 107 pitch no hitter/near perfect game was one of the greatest pitching performances in the history of Major League baseball by any measurement.  The only better ones that I can think of off the top of my head would have been Roy Halladay's playoff no hitter (because...playoffs) and Kerry Wood's 20K game against the Astros back in his rookie season (because...Cubs fan and he struck out 20!!!).  I am sure there are others that are comparable, Kershaw himself brings up Don Larsen's World Series Perfecto because of the circumstances, but when you can remember the game off the top of your head, it is in rare company.  Anyone who saw Kershaw's gem is not going to forget those curveballs and sliders any time soon.  I am sure the Rockies hitters are still having nightmares about them.


On the Flipside

Dual Earflaps for Life!

5) OF Shin Soo Choo (160/192/280 2 R 5RBI) - ZAttack
Choo was supposed to bust out big time in Tejas this year, but so far he has just busted at everything but walking.  His .377 OBP is solid, but he is only hitting .248 and only slugging .386 while hitting in one of the best hitter's environments in the League.  As a replacement for Nelson Cruz, he's been very underwhelming.   After this year, the soon to be 32 year old has only 6 years and $116 million left on his contract.  Something tells me he might not live up to the $21 million a year for 2019 and 2020.

4) OF Nelson Cruz (167/231/417 3 R 4 RBI) - ZAttack
This is what we call a blip on the radar.  Cruz hit his 22nd and 23rd HRs of the season this week, but he didnt hit much else.  When you are hitting 293/363/594, you can be forgiven a slow week here and there.  Cruz remains the best Free Agent bargain in both real life MLB and in the Tater Tot fantasy league thus far into the season.

3) RP Janesto Frirrili (8.31 ERA 2.08 WHIP 2 K 2 Closer Jobs Lost) - Huckleberries
Both Ernesto Frieri and Jason Grilli lost their closer jobs this week.  For Frieri, this is about the 32nd time he has lost the grip on the job and this time looks like it might stick.  Managers are creatures of habit, but when a relief pitcher continuously gives up either walks or bombs, managers lose patience fast.  And Frieri has given up 8 bombs in 29 1/3 innings (2.46 HR per 9 innings...YIKES).  Grilli, on the other hand, has hit a bit of a rough patch since coming back from injury and is giving up both walks (5.21 bb/9) and bombs (1.89 HR/9).  But Grilli's numbers scream small sample size and rebound from injury.  There is a decent chance that he is back in the catbird seat shortly after the all star break, unless Mark Melancon takes the closer's job and runs with it.

2) SP Tim Hudson (4 2/3 ip 13.50 ERA 2.79 WHIP 0 K) - ZAttack
The outing that has been on the horizon finally came for Hudson in the form of the Chicago White Sox.  Hudson has been dominant this season, with a spot on both the ERA and WHIP leader boards, but he has been doing it with a lot of smoke and mirrors and groundballs.  For those of you scoring at home, that is exactly how he has done it for the entirety of his MLB career.  All of his ratios (K rate, GB/FB rate, HR Rate, Ground Out to Air Out rate) are nearly identical to his career lines except one, his BB rate (3.7%) which is roughly half of his career average (7.1%).  As long as Hudson continues to limit the walks, the rest of his numbers suggest that he could pitch seemingly forever.  Chalk this outing up as a hicup.

1) SP/RP Drew Pomeranz (3 2/3 ip 17.18 ERA 2.73 WHIP 4 K 1 Broken Right Hand) - Huckleberries
Pomeranz would be #1 on this list for his pitching efforts alone, but the icing on the cake is his mistaking a chair for a pinata and using his fist like a stick.  It is too bad too, because he was quietly turning into one of the best unknown pitchers in the league, having given up only 10 runs in the 7 games proceeding his blowup.  While he will at least get to throw while on the DL, so a rehab assignment likely wont be needed, he still comes off looking like a huge d-bag.


Hello, Also A few Questions for the Commish

     First and foremost, I want to thank Mr. Louie for creating what I would consider one of the best fantasy leagues I've had the pleasure of being part of.  I've been a part of fantasy baseball and football leagues for over 10 years now and have never had a commish quite like LouDawg.  I have spent a lot of time at work reading the posts and then debating and arguing with Lester about them.  As a side note I would like to mention that Lester and I have a bet this week about the outcome of our matchup.  Whoever loses owes the other a dollar for each point they lost by.  The two of us bet on pretty much anything and the majority of the time he ends up paying me.  After one more year I think I'll have my college debt paid off. 
     Now on to the meat and potatoes of this post.  Earlier tonight I texted the commish and asked him about some keeper rules.  He did answer me promptly however the answer brought up additional questions which I decided would be best asked as a post, you know, so all could see.  The question I asked was, "If I drop a player I drafted and then re-added them at a lower cost, what would I keep them as?"  Lou quickly responded with "You keep them at the highest price you paid for them."  I understand this but at the same time I do not like it.  I sort of like the thought of taking a gamble of dropping a player and then taking a risk of trying to get them back at a lower price seeing as everyone else in the league would be able to try to get them as well.  I'm not sure about the rest of you, but I have been heavily plagued by far to many DL's this season and at some point may have to start thinking about the future. 
    I will go along with whatever the league goes with but I do like the idea of a democracy when it comes to Fantasy leagues.  I feel like having an active league makes for a good league which is why I hope to see many comments on this.  I have thoroughly enjoyed this league and am looking forward to see how the season plays out.  Best of luck to all, except for Lester my mortal enemy and friend who I hope loses badly this week.